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[Tiruin]

I probably tried to handle it in a stupid way... I hate that I can't console people for shit.

Ask the person feedback on how you handled it. Knowing how you do stuff, sometimes you downplay your actions a lot. But you consoled me when I was D: before. Take it constructively, and apologies if I put another 'knowing you' here, but when you're in good company, you can exchange feedback openly, and that includes being totally open like 'hey how can I say this better/did I say something wrong or hurtful/etc. or word as how you usually say things'

But yeah, too early to judge--and inappropriate to label your capabilities. You can console people; there's room for improvement.

Dark Eldar usually fail at that pretty heavily. I would say, critically.

Oh you.
Although I'm unsure if Kabal is more a faction within the Dark Elder or there literally is something like that in WH40k lore that equals BHK's name. o_o

[IcyTea31]

-snip-

I respect you.

[Kot]

Although I'm unsure if Kabal is more a faction within the Dark Elder or there literally is something like that in WH40k lore that equals BHK's name. o_o

Faction. Equivalent of Space Marine Chapter or Imperial Guard Regiment, of sorts, except incredibly more powerful. The Kabal of the Black Heart is the oldest Kabal, it's leader is Asdrubael Vect, oldest known Dark Eldar and founder of Commorragh and so on.
Basically pick a Dark Eldar and there's 90% chance that he's one of them.

[Arx]

Cin, even barring everything else I remember and respect you for having mad dedication to your draw a day thing. And there's plenty of other stuff.

[sprinkled chariot]

Asking for a ban is truly the best way to be remembered on a forum site. I guess you will at least end in the Moderation Log maybe.

* Tiruin bops Kot on the nose

Sometimes people say things when they're under a certain mood that they literally, seriously, don't really mean. It's more like expressing the intensity of the feeling one personally has, translated into words, directed at a vague presence (which usually comes out in the words of everybody/nobody, etc). This displaces the idea of her attitude being childish as it's more to the context rather than the literalness of her words.

Anyway it's settled now (or at least I think it is, given the awesomeness of IRC and discord, and friends \o/)

Wait, there is secret bay 12 discord, where people are plotting and scheming downfalls of elven civilizations and I dont know about it? 

[TheBiggerFish]

https://discord.gg/eyBhk
Not secret anymore.
(although that link expires in 30 minutes)

[Solifuge]

I'm done. I've been here for so long but nobody here actually respects me, anyways. The people who do are mostly no longer part of the forum. I don't need to be on Bay12 anymore, and I can't deal with the apathy and lack of fucks here anymore. I'm gone. In a week if I don't change my mind I'll ask Toady to ban me.

People have already mentioned, but I have to agree... this kind of attention-grabbing threat to leave unless people pay more attention to you is pretty childish. I say this sympathetically, though; you seem like you've been feeling lousy lately, and maybe like whatever feel-good interactions you normally have online have been doing less for you, lately.

If I had to guess, it sounds like you need to develop more face-to-face relationships. There's good people out there. I'm a huge proponent of online friendships etc., but just socializing online doesn't do everything our monkey brains need to feel valued and satisfied. Got to keep the balance between meatspace and cyberspace socialization, or you'll start too feel like this.

[Tiruin]

The thing was it wasn't related to attention as far as I've known about it and more 'intense emotions'. ._.

[tonnot98]

If I had to guess, it sounds like you need to develop more face-to-face relationships. There's good people out there. I'm a huge proponent of online friendships etc., but just socializing online doesn't do everything our monkey brains need to feel valued and satisfied. Got to keep the balance between meatspace and cyberspace socialization, or you'll start too feel like this.

Gotta agree, I like doing stuff alone and just talking to people online, but I'd be a mess if I didn't actually talk to people every once in a while. Plus, you get to see their faces when you do stuff.

[spümpkin]

Cin, even barring everything else I remember and respect you for having mad dedication to your draw a day thing. And there's plenty of other stuff.

Ditto.

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

I am just feeling awful right now.

My mind is so fucked up. It's just a mess. My emotions are volatile and unrelated to anything happening in the real world, I've been depressed and suicidal for a considerable proportion of my life, I've been diagnosed with half a dozen mental illnesses, I freak out whenever I have to interact with anybody, I'm incredibly socially incompetent because of this, which leads to a vicious cycle. I was traumatized after Homecoming dance, nothing even happened, but I was crying and uncomfortable and scared. Also I think I'm going to pass out now from all of this talking to people and revealing thing about myself. But I'll post this because otherwise I'll forget.

And I told myself it was getting better, and from the outside it was, but all I've done is learn to repress and hide these various fucked-up bits of me. I'm very forgetful, and so I just forget that I am different. But that doesn't work, so I've been spending all my time on video games, wasting my life away, just to avoid thinking. If there's ever a break in the stimuli, I have to fill it up or I might think about myself. (This is subconscious, obviously.) And, heh, that's probably part of why I like books so much. (Silver lining: when all you do is read books, you get rather smart. Now I have something to pour my entire mind into - no, wait, now I'm too smart to be challenged by school all the time. Shit.)

And I don't even know if I'm cisgender or agender or transgender or whatever, because "gender dysphoria" is just dysphoria that comes from a difference between your gender identity and your sex, and dysphoria is "a profound state of... anxiety, depression, or distress," which would describe me pretty well, and dysphoria doesn't come with a "made in Gender" tag, so either I'm fucked up, or I'm fucked and also non-cis. What fun. And I'll hate myself whichever I choose, so might as well go with cis, right? If you don't know who you are, it's best to pretend to be somebody that less people hate. But I'm fairly sure I'm not cis, actually, I hate my shoulders and my voice and my hair, why the hair? That's wrong. It's all wrong. They shouldn't have hair on them, not there. Or it could just be that I hate myself, that could be it too.

And I would just rage into the night, just screaming, as a child. And I didn't even know why, it just felt so awful, and other times I would seriously consider suicide. Dozens of times I stood there in the kitchen, in the bathroom, looking at the knives and the water. Just a few months ago I stood at the top of a stairwell and put my foot on the railing. I don't even know why I didn't jump. Probably forgot why I was there. That's the only way I've ever solved any of this - by forgetting. Or I would sit in my bed, trying to sleep during the day, just to get away from all of this. Dreams and stories and games. That's all I wanted, just the ability to forget myself. Wouldn't dying do that too? Why don't I die? If the only life I appreciate is a life that's not my own, why do I keep going through this?

This is a really bad post, it has no organization, it's just a stream of consciousness, and the stream is made of shit, because that's my mind - fucked up.

Spoiler: shutupshutupshutup (click to show/hide)

No, Doz, you're just saying that to get attention. You don't have any problems, you nasty person, you just want people to feel sorry for you because you don't feel like you're liked enough. You shouldn't even post this. Everybody will hate you if you post this. Nobody likes you anyway. They aren't going to read it, they'll just laugh at you. Why do you keep doing this? Why don't you just kill yourself?

[Tiruin]

Big quote from Doze + Rumination in spoilers

This is a really bad post, it has no organization, it's just a stream of consciousness, and the stream is [rumination].

I honestly lack the time to reply but making a start in expressing what you're bottling up because it 'may not sound connected but it is' is often the start for understanding. People can connect the ideas later on by conversing afterwards (that's what professionals in the field oriented towards other people do; if there's a problem, they encourage the other person to start talking as these can all be connected later on--have you anyone there you can go to? This will help a lot).

And when you worry if anything you write is superbly messy that you'll be judged like [negative adjective] because of it, one thing you could do is awaiting what response you can get before judging yourself (suspend judgement) and then working with the response and with others; at times we learn what to avoid but the support may be lacking or the impact of negativity mixes it up in judgement. When that becomes the majority of what happens, it'll be a very mixed message we send when re-assessing our own ideas; there is little in the idea of 'nobody' if someone actually present says otherwise.
And you posting all that is one step of strength and not 'wanting people to feel sorry for you', because that one statement illogically invalidates the act itself. One cannot force others to 'feel sorry for me' because that...can be seen. What you're doing there is sincere, and you're expressing your concerns. You're expressing your concerns, and the idea of the want of death is merely a cognitive mechanism because of how intense emotions like that can feel (it's not literal, because the feelings will pass and can be handled in the future provided action be taken, and one can learn how to face those feelings by thought and action but at the moment I'd really advise not doing anything drastic).

But something to do is finding someone you can go to and express your concerns over there, which will help in the long-run--you can  write down or type+print down what you want to say if you have or find trouble in verbal expression or are terribly shy.

[Solifuge]

This is a really bad post, it has no organization, it's just a stream of consciousness, and the stream is made of shit, because that's my mind - fucked up.

Nope. This thread is for venting these kinds of feelings. It's a good post, and totally on topic.

Spoiler: shutupshutupshutup (click to show/hide)

No, Doz, you're just saying that to get attention. You don't have any problems, you nasty person, you just want people to feel sorry for you because you don't feel like you're liked enough. You shouldn't even post this. Everybody will hate you if you post this. Nobody likes you anyway. They aren't going to read it, they'll just laugh at you. Why do you keep doing this? Why don't you just kill yourself?

Also Nope. Why would anyone hate you for this? Besides, you're hating on yourself enough for all of us, and then some.

First, I'm sorry you're feeling bad right now. I get it. Secondly, please don't put so much energy into railing against yourself like this. It's enough to identify that something in your life or living situation isn't right, even if you consider yourself responsible for it. Rather than hurting yourself physically or emotionally, put that energy into figuring out what -would- be a good life or living situation. Once you know that, figure out a rough plan for how to get there. When you're ready, start putting it into action; reach out to the necessary people, or try out new things. If your body hair is really bugging you, try trimming it off and see how you feel. If you feel like you spend too much time doing something (reading books or playing games), then set the intention to do less of it, or try doing something new that you've been putting off, or are anxious about.

Recognizing what's wrong is important, but you can't stop there, and get mired in self-loathing. Set intentions to try little, incremental changes. Take steps toward your happiness. You have the power to get there, and it's something only you can do for yourself.

[tonnot98]

This is a really bad post

why

As in, why do you think this? Everyone else has been posting similar either here or in Life Advice, so there's no need to feel bad for venting to plenty of people willing to support any of our members.

Might not be an appealing idea, but maybe you should talk to a therapist? Their job is to be talked at, complained at, raged at, and most importantly, to help. Maybe you can get something out of making an appointment?

[RedKing]

Nature decided to give me a sinus cold for a birthday present.

Fuck you too, Nature.