So, I'm playing the Witcher III for the first time. Yeah, I'm a little behind.
I'm in the first town, and I've been asked to keep a low profile. Which means I immediately discreetly draw a blazing magic symbol in the air and use jedi mind manipulation magic on the first peasant I'm allowed to talk to, and then proceed to unobtrusively beat the the shit out of a trio of guys right in front of the only alehouse in town. Geralt, however, being the master of subtle blending that he is, doesn't stop there. Spotting a bush I'd like to rob, I direct Geralt over only to find my progress stymied by a two foot tall fence that looks like it would fall over if a particularly obese chicken roosted on it. I circumnavigate the edge and find the gate, at which point I bump into it repeatedly because Geralt was apparently absent murderizing something or having sex the day they taught latch operation techniques in Witcher academy.
So I ask Geralt if he'd like to vault the gate instead of opening it, which he's totally fucking gung-ho about, action vaulting that flimsy gate like he was a second behind an explosion, except for the part where he lands and makes a noise like he just sprained his ankle and is barely restraining curses. He does this in front of three women who are working on their laundry, and of course attempts to nonchalantly walk it off as he picks berries.
Very low profile. Much stealth. No one will remember the six foot tall cat-eyed swordsman with the white hippy-hair who had to vault over a chicken fence in order to steal from Mrs. Clemens' berry bush because he couldn't figure out how to open a tiny gate.
I don't think this game should be making me laugh this much.
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Topic: [MILK] There were 12 eggs here what did you do with them? (Happy thread?!) (Read 16288459 times)