Today, I had a nice revelation: I am now more fit than I have ever been. Ever is the key word for me. But, the better part is that, tomorrow, I will be more fit than I was today. And generally, this trend is expected to continue.
I'm glad for it, especially since I learned how to gym. That seems like a dumb sentence, but I really hated being at the gym with other people. It just feels like there are so many unknown rules to the place. It feels judgmental, even. But, it's not really. It's just a place where people go to workout. I built it up for no reason. I don't even know. Maybe I didn't want to be better back then. I didn't accept that I could change for the better. But, I can. I did. Man, being able to say that and know that feels pretty good.
I started doing something I considered incredibly lame today. I have begun counting calories. I'm not going to lie, I still think it's lame, but I get it. I'm supposed to be aware of what I eat. Calories in < calories out, blah blah. It's like making subconscious decisions to not eat snacks if you don't need them. And I really DO like snacks, but maybe this time, I'll get some fruit from the cafe instead of a donut. That way, I don't have to feel bad about having a dessert. I budgeted it in. Or... maybe I'll just skip dessert this time?
Maybe you remember that I was attacked by some random stranger with a knife. Just an fyi, it's not a very fun experience, but you probably guessed as much.
I have a scar on my wrist (and one on my pinky) that I assume will probably last a very long time that I always get to remind myself that I was incredibly lucky that I wasn't injured worse. I guess I'm to thank for that. Good job, Web. But, afterwards, I really screwed around a lot, and made a mess of a lot of different things: School, relationships, money. It sucks, but trying to change the past is wasted effort. All I can do is change the future. At least it wasn't worse.
So now, my goal is to get douchebag abs. I'd say I'm probably several months away from that. I will be shameless the first time I show them off. I've been working out for... two to three months? I mean, I worked out before then, but not to the same level. And heck, I didn't really have a true schedule until a couple of weeks ago. I just always brought my gym clothes to work, just in case. Now, I bring them on my off-day, just in case. I don't remember when I started liking it... But, I do know that I get excited to go. I feel like I have too much energy while I sit at my desk at work. I know I could be walking, running, biking, anything really...
I know I can do more when I work out, but... I know I could do much, much less. Also, I don't want to collapse on my way home, so I'll take my happy medium. If it's toward my goal, then I'll keep it up.
Anyhow, yeah. That's my happy thought for a while. I can be better than I was. It's just a slow process, but I'll make it. Just felt like sharing. Even a little bragging.
P.S. I'm down to 164, as of yesterday, which is good, considering that's like 10 pounds since last year around this time (And, you know, this being fairly recent and all.)