PLEASE, ALL WATCHERS, LURKERS AND SIMILAR SIMULACRUMS. This RtD seems to have an exceptionally high amount of views, and I ask thee, why?Q: How over-the-top and Touhou-referential will it go?
A: WHO KNOWS?
I'm trying to get a surprise guest in here... hehe
zchris13 - FLEE FOR MY LIFE(2) The only option when spotting a steampunk skelephant is to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. Unfortunately for you, the skelephant is faster.
tehstefan - I shoot both the moles, as they've shown to be mah enemies! Resort to sword chucks if attacked directly. (1) Unfortunately for you, you shoot the first shot into orbit and the second one in your foot. This leads the moles to think that you are, actually threatening.
Jack_Bread - Smile and nod while preparing knives for COMBAT. (5) You put on your best slasher smile, whip out your knives, remove any rests of fabric from them, do your best spinny trick and STRIKE A MENACING POSE.
Eagle - Telekinectically burninate remaining cans. Have soldiers wipe up any that survive. Then use power of Banjo to heal wounded soldiers, and loot the bodies.
Robby gains nickname "Righty"
Tommy gains nickname "Lefty"
Johnny gains nickname "Ol' One Eye"(6) Psh! Why burninate when you can ATOMIZE? You summon a TELEKINETIC SUN, maintain the pressure for some seconds, and detonate it. (6) (5) By a miracle, all of your soldiers survive, and are not harmed, save for the light irradiation. Unfortunately, the can knights seem to be heat immune, even though the can soldiers were atomized.
You think you can remember this technique... if it didn't drain that much, it would be alright...
Struck by a fey mood, you take your cape, color it pitch black (with ash!), paint a few white dots on it (with white ash!) and declare it your CAPE FULL OF STARS. Never has a more badass cape even existed! (In your humble opinion, anyways.)
You then declare all of this to be Banjo's doing. All of your men, and the two cans, convert.
Dies-Horribly - I'll set the walkie-talkie to sleeper and say hi. Also, SAVE THE KEYBOARD.
If I know about his existence, I'll tell my army not to attack him. Unless they are attacked by, say, solar beams.
And play Vindows Vista to my right. Vampires have no reflection. So they won't be fooled by tricks with mirrors.
Logicgism!(2) The walkie-talkie appears to be JAMMED by JAM-FLAVORED SHAVING CREAM! How the jam-flavoring got there, don't ask.
Condemned to isolation, you place the card. (5) A hideous tome summoning steampunk vampire Bill Gates knockoffs appears somewhere on the right side of the field.
Be most cautious. These do only distinguish between living and unliving, though they won't stray far from the tome (usually)
You then draw your obligatory two cards.
(1) UristMcArglebargle
(4) Homing ToonyTunnelLaserCraft3000
You save up your investigate for the next turn, to investigate twice.
Barkeep - Prepare for combat due to lack of options.(5) He readies his cane, and takes out a smallish object, just in case.
Medic - Collect self, ready self for combat.(5) She gets back to srs mode and says with perfect calmness: "I am... ah, screw that. All you need to know is that I'm good enough with a bow to
shoot down the moon." With that line, the small room you are in dissolves into nothing as you get transported on a slab of rock orbiting earth.
Thankfully, you are ADVENTURERS!. You can breathe in space.
Squad Grunts - Wipe as being told.(3) They take the best decision - leaving the work to the boss.
Squad Guards - Find sarge!(4) They discern their sarge, finally. They recognized his particular style of magic.
Squad Nobby - If it ain't overkill it ain't worth it.(2) He looks at the *Hell's Tomakak*, and tries to scribble notes, but can't find his notebook. His movements become increasingly hectic.
Can Ambushers - Call for reinforcements, and a translator.(4) They escape. They will probably call the artillery.
- t#4The shaving cream appears to be altered a little.
Dog - Do as masters do.(5) A conspicious belly growling can be heard.
Rabid Moles - Resume argument.(2) They are rather caught up in the argument whose their life insurance will cover this.
Steampunk Skelephant - ATTACK(3) zchris barely dodges the furious abomination to nature.
Statuses
The Game.
Hand of Dies-Horribly: Giant Enemy Bomber, Get out of jail free card, UristMcArglebargle, HomingToonyTunnelLaserCraft3000
Life vial of Dies-Horribly: 10/10
Played cards of Dies-Horribly: Ass Card (Left Red), Night of the Steampunk Zombies (Center Red), Longcat Flail&Kitten Geysir (Delay, 3 remaining), DDoS Carpet Bombing (Left Flank), Vindovs Vista - Dracula Edition (Right Flank)
's hand:
??
's Life Vial: 10/10
's played cards: Redshirt Army, Rotating Laser Cannons, Princess Tenko, Gutsman's Ass + Can of Shaving Cream + Jam Flavoring,
Zchris13
Status: On weird, green meadow. One with the vines. Highly energized. Leader of the party. Donkey ears.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic
Equipment: Rose flower hat (unremovable), Pair of strange goggles.
Inventory: Imaginary roll of duct tape, 200 gold, Soft cushions, tea set
Jack_Bread
Status: Headache. Bruise on head. ROCK DRILL FINGER!.
Skills: Adventurer Work Ethic, Trippin' Master, Improptu Tailor, Can breathe in space.
Equipment: Two dolled-up knives, Black Fingerless Gloves
Inventory: Fainted Metapod named Goo, 200 gold, Paperclip
'Scarface' tehstefan
Status: Minor hangover. Haphazard shave. In matrix. Hole in leg. Bleeding.
Skills: Firephobia. Basic idea of Archery. Good VS. inanimate, defenseless objects (+1)
Equipment: Sword-chucks with dulled hilts. Five cm layer of dust.
Inventory: Shortbow, 300 gold.
Eagle
Status: Apparently fire immune. -100 gp to destructive magic cost! Knows (NUCLEAR) telekinesis. And is excessive about it.
Bandaid on leg.
The goddamn CLOAK FULL OF STARS. Officer's uniform. Leads confused army of eight to the east. AMBUSH!
Skills: Spellcasting
Equipment: Gnarled, singed staff. xMojotastic Hairbandx.
Inventory: Several incense sticks. 300 gold.
Banjo hand puppet.
Dies-Horribly
Status: Doomed. Big bruise on chest. Face very much harmed. Major hangover.
Skills: Nope.
Equipment: None, to your very great disgress.
Inventory: 100 gold. 1 'Get a weapon for free' coupon. Two detached right hands. Brick labeled 'HANG' with curd smeared to its bottom. Walkie-talkie.
Medic
Status: Furious. Like, real furious.
Skills: Expert Medic, Sharpshooter. Final Boss skillz? Can breathe in space.
Equipment: Ruined violet and red clothing. Longbow. Quiver of +1 Arrows. Silver scalpel.
Inventory: Various poisons and explosives.
Barkeep
Status: Defensive position. Green stuff in face.
Skills: Something awesome probably. Can breathe in space.
Equipment: Formal wear. Spare cloak. Laser cane. Small object.
Dog
Status: Woof? Belly problems?
Skills: "Leeroy Jenkins", "Spaced Out Man" and "Gastrointestinal Nuke"
Mima
Status: In the shadows, cackling madly.
Skills: Black Magic, Ghostness.
Equipment: Green-violet ensemble, wizard's hat
Army of Eight
Grunt Squad
Club: Robby - major gash on left arm
Halberd 1: Johnny - poked out left eye
Halberd 2: Tommy - broken right arm
Sword 1: Sammy - no injuries
Sword 2: Bobby - lots of bruises
Guard Squad
Katana 1: Magnus von Magnusson
Katana 2: Max Fightmaster
Nobby Squad
Crossbow 1, Crossbow 2, Flamethrower: Demolitions Expert Nobby
In No-Formation
AMBUSHERS
Can Knight 1, 2
Running for the hills, and calling in reinforcements.
Rabid Mole 1, 3
Rabidly arguing.
Steampunk Skelephant
Seriously.
Author
Topic: Boss Rush RtD - MSPA Intermission. (T27/Psyche) (Read 70201 times)