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Author Topic: In America, we play Dwarf Fortress. In Soviet Russia, Fortress dwarfs YOU.  (Read 3880 times)

Bricks

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Gremlins... from the Kremlin?

I kind of envision the goblins following their demon leaders like czars, and wearing funny fur hats.  Could we have white goblins and red goblins?  Or at least a bartender job, where I can order a white goblin.

Late-game dwarves are more like European monarchies, ordering giant government projects while ignoring the basic needs of its citizens.  Is Toady planning to add genetics?  I want crazy inbred nobles with incurable congenital illness/defects.  (I am looking for the dwarf with two beards.  He killed my father.)
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EMPATHY - being able to feel other peoples' stuff.

DI7789

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I want crazy inbred nobles with incurable congenital illness/defects.

Quote from: Toady One
got rid of world gen crash during succession after death of prolific long-standing position holders with inbred descendants

Well...the Toady One seems to approve
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Gone on hiatus due to RL. Major apologies to all involved in LP thread.

SirHoneyBadger

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The Romanovs were descendants of the Hapsburgs, which goes a long way towards explaining their physical problems.

The Hapsburgs were the primary promoters of what amounted to politically-motivated incest. They, basically, tried to rule Europe from the bedroom, by intermarrying with all of the royal and noble houses.

It worked pretty successfully for many years, until the problems of mixing too closely related DNA kicked in. 

Infact, the Spanish line died out directly due to genetic deficiency.

Charles II "the hexed", the last of that line, is still pretty famous today for his rather monstrous physical and mental abnormalities. He was called "the hexed" because it was believed that his genetic defects were caused by sorcery, and he was repeatedly exorcised.

« Last Edit: May 16, 2009, 04:20:56 pm by SirHoneyBadger »
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For they would be your masters.

Grimlocke

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Oh yeah, nobles bleeding to death after receiving a tiny wound from another randomly tantrumming noble. Sounds fun, saves magma work ;D

Interesting to include from russian/slavic culture might be Baba Yagas, witchlike characters that kidnap and eat children!
Also intersting to read with DF in mind might be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuvash_dragon

Lasterlly, this calls for... communism challenge!
-Place designations for 5 years.
-All bedrooms must have same size and content.
-Use job manager to plan in 5 year worth of tasks
-Set dwarves to appropriate jobs.
-Unpause
-You are not allowed to remove, add or change any designations or work orders untill 5 years have passed.
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I make Grimlocke's History & Realism Mods. Its got poleaxes, sturdy joints and bloomeries. Now compatible with DF Revised!

Domini0n

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ahahhahah, and if you survive the first, you may go onto a second five year plan?
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PotatoMuncher

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Gentlemen, XM8.



This gun trumps your puny outdated AK 47.

Dude... this is nowhere near my legendary Crossbow dwarves. They can literally go through 25 adamantine bolts in about 50 frames
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I think we found the only thing stupider than a dwarf.
Ladies and Gentlemen; Wagons can run shit over.

Yanlin

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Alright then.

Mentlegen,


Legendary gunman.
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WE NEED A SLOGAN!

Village_Idiot

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Gentlemen, XM8.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This gun trumps your puny outdated AK 47.

Thanks for that picture! Now i can finnally prove that MGS4 doesn't show all possible modifications to the XM8!
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Grax

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Gentlemen, XM8.

This gun trumps your puny outdated AK 47.
Some facts about your XM8:
1. It doesn't in serial production till now.
2. For the price of your XM8 one can buy two G36 (those are parents of XM8 almost identical excluding the form and appearance), so its more dwarfy to get more for one price. (600$ for bare (if it would been in serial prioduction), 1800$ with integrated sights).
3. You can't broke a coconut with its club as its made out of plastic (very-very hard weapon plastic, but for this type of operations it may be considered as having the [BRITTLE] tag ;-)).
4. 7.62*39 despite its age is more powerful and have more stopping force than 5.56*45.
5. Old but perfectly operating army AK47 now costs... costs... about 40$.

Maybe XM8 outstands AK47 in all other characteristics except for price, but i don't think anyone alone with XM8 (don't forget, it costs 600$ just for NAKED barrel without any optic/recoil-comps etc.) can stand a minute against 15 men with AK47?


PS. Yes i'm russian. ;-)
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Finis sanctificat media.

SirHoneyBadger

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As much as I enjoy rapid-fire destruction, enough already with the gun stuff. If you want to continue with it, kindly make your own damn thread . ;D

...In the wake of that, would anyone like to post some On Topic suggestions?
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For they would be your masters.

kotekzot

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Gentlemen, XM8.

snip

This gun trumps your puny outdated AK 47.
it's like barbie for men.

baba yagas must have houses on chicken legs and flying mortars as mounts and inhabit evil forests.
also vodyanoy, a malevolent water spirit (although some would argue that carp fill that position rather nicely).
can't think of anything else that would fit in df.
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Dwarf Fortress: Where violent death is a renewable resource
Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

mendonca

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We of course have statue 'parks', perhaps when statues get more flavour, these will more often than not be fashioned in the likeness of our leaders?
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Dorten

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Oh yeah, nobles bleeding to death after receiving a tiny wound from another randomly tantrumming noble. Sounds fun, saves magma work ;D

Interesting to include from russian/slavic culture might be Baba Yagas, witchlike characters that kidnap and eat children!
Also intersting to read with DF in mind might be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chuvash_dragon

Lasterlly, this calls for... communism challenge!
-Place designations for 5 years.
-All bedrooms must have same size and content.
-Use job manager to plan in 5 year worth of tasks
-Set dwarves to appropriate jobs.
-Unpause
-You are not allowed to remove, add or change any designations or work orders untill 5 years have passed.

You forgot a thingie: enprison and/or execute any dwarf cancelling a job for eating/drinking/sleeping/partying.

THAT would be the worst clichhed image of soviet Russia.

I hate you guys. You should read some history books.  >:(
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Grax

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I hate you guys. You should read some history books.  >:(

Don't hate. Just buy AK. ;-)
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Finis sanctificat media.

Bricks

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Lasterlly, this calls for... communism challenge!
-Place designations for 5 years.
-All bedrooms must have same size and content.
-Use job manager to plan in 5 year worth of tasks
-Set dwarves to appropriate jobs.
-Unpause
-You are not allowed to remove, add or change any designations or work orders untill 5 years have passed.

In soviet russia, five years plan you!  Seriously, that sounds intense.  You should start on a glacier.

You forgot a thingie: enprison and/or execute any dwarf cancelling a job for eating/drinking/sleeping/partying.

THAT would be the worst clichhed image of soviet Russia.

I hate you guys. You should read some history books.  >:(

I have trouble understanding what, or whom, this is directed at, though the "read a history book" comment is about as cliche as you can get when it comes to anything combining history and the internet.

Anyway, http://rainbowstalin4.ytmnd.com/.  Worker's paradise!
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EMPATHY - being able to feel other peoples' stuff.
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