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Author Topic: Face Palm moments you had in Dwarf Fortress  (Read 2130107 times)

TheFlame52

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9375 on: August 24, 2015, 08:35:09 pm »

Centuries later, archaeologists will be baffled by this lone stone room surrounded by obsidian, miles below the earth.
No they won't. Dwarves.

Skribbblie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9376 on: August 24, 2015, 11:19:20 pm »

I didn't know, for the longest time, that you could make pots out of rock. So I usually mass-produced stoneware pots instead, from fire clay.

IT BLEW MY MIND when I learned I could store booze and food away with just rocks! I mean sure, it gets hauled slower, but who cares?! It's an infinite solution to storing my vast supplies of consumables!
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

Fawnek

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9377 on: August 25, 2015, 12:43:06 am »

I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.
DF's kobolds are described as somewhat dog-like. I imagine them like RO's kobolds:


actually toady drew us a picture http://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/DF2014:Kobold
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Urlance Woolsbane

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9378 on: August 25, 2015, 12:14:40 pm »

I recently had a fort in a haunted biome. The Dwarves were comfortably burrowed into the hill, cut off from the outside world, with a drawbridge to allow the entrance of merchants and migrants. Strategically-placed cage-traps prevented things from getting too out of hand.

The fort had gone along for a year or two, when a Titan (a pterosaur) came. It wandered about for a while, oddly not flying in, before gaining entrance with some merchants. It slaughtered them, and proceeded past my cage-traps unaffected. I dispatched my militia, which made short work of it. I didn't want an undead Titan, nor did I want to pass up the opportunity for Titan-meat, so I ordered my butcher to butcher a corpse (the titan being the only uncaged and unanimated cadaver, as far as I knew.) The corpse disappeared, and I naively assumed that it had been cut-up. I soon learned how wrong I was.

The thing had been taken to the corpse stockpile, from whence it proceeded to rise and begin its slaughter anew. In desperation (and failing to realize that the corpse must have retained its trap-immunity, else it would never have gotten past the stockpile) I sent my dwarves to a little room on a lower lever, past a line of cage traps. There were too many zombies by now, and loosing seven of their number did little to lessen the danger.

Only one dwarf survived, a woodcutter (who had become hardened to seeing his comrades killed,) who managed to fall down the drawbridge-pit. Deconstructing the floor that sealed him in, he managed to make do with the supplies at the nearby Trade Depot. He sealed himself off from the deathtrap that Yoremanners had become, proceeding to mine out a new bunker, in the hopes of eventually welcoming newcomers. Several migrants came, but he died of thirst before he could let them in. It was around this point that the game crashed.

Perhaps one day I shall return and avert the death of that heroic wretch.

Re Kobolds: I can't help but think of them like this-
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escondida

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9379 on: August 28, 2015, 04:32:23 pm »

I didn't know, for the longest time, that you could make pots out of rock. So I usually mass-produced stoneware pots instead, from fire clay.

You can also make wooden pots, which are even lighter than wooden barrels--and given 2014's abundance of wood, they're finally viable. In 0.34.11, rock pots were in vogue because each tree you cut only provided one log, so deforesting the map would leave you with maybe a couple hundred logs, rather than a couple thousand.
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Skribbblie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9380 on: August 28, 2015, 06:58:53 pm »

I didn't know, for the longest time, that you could make pots out of rock. So I usually mass-produced stoneware pots instead, from fire clay.

You can also make wooden pots, which are even lighter than wooden barrels--and given 2014's abundance of wood, they're finally viable. In 0.34.11, rock pots were in vogue because each tree you cut only provided one log, so deforesting the map would leave you with maybe a couple hundred logs, rather than a couple thousand.
Indeed, but given how masochistically often I settle in evil biomes, I'm usually making rock pots anyway, to minimize my need for going outside and collecting more wood. The wood I have, then, is usually reserved strictly for beds, or other extenuating circumstances.
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

Uberpooch

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9381 on: September 03, 2015, 02:54:12 pm »

One of my first successful forts.  It had an extensive steel industry, a dining room with solid gold walls, platinum statues, and a mist generator, a GDP of a couple million dwarfbucks per year, and a happy, thriving populace.  The defenses were already formidable, but I figured I could always make them better.  I decided to channel out a moat to provide an extra layer of defense for the entrance.  As I opened the moat to the river, I began getting job cancellation warnings.  First a few, then more and more.  I checked to see what was wrong and discovered, to my horror, that I had channeled through the ceiling of the dining room, and over 2/3 of the fortress was now flooded.  I managed to wall off one small part, but the vast portion of it, including all of the architectural wealth and all of the stockpiles, were submerged forever.  :'(
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Skribbblie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9382 on: September 03, 2015, 03:45:58 pm »

One of my first successful forts.  It had an extensive steel industry, a dining room with solid gold walls, platinum statues, and a mist generator, a GDP of a couple million dwarfbucks per year, and a happy, thriving populace.  The defenses were already formidable, but I figured I could always make them better.  I decided to channel out a moat to provide an extra layer of defense for the entrance.  As I opened the moat to the river, I began getting job cancellation warnings.  First a few, then more and more.  I checked to see what was wrong and discovered, to my horror, that I had channeled through the ceiling of the dining room, and over 2/3 of the fortress was now flooded.  I managed to wall off one small part, but the vast portion of it, including all of the architectural wealth and all of the stockpiles, were submerged forever.  :'(
Make a glass floor above the submerged fortress. It would be a fascinating spectacle to view a submerged fortress' wealth from above, while eating plump helmet biscuits in the new, cheap dining hall.
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

612DwarfAvenue

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9383 on: September 07, 2015, 03:58:08 pm »

I always thought kobolds were even smaller and sturdier versions of dwarves. But apparently, they are just intelligent reptiles. (Google image it)

Well, there have been a number of different interpretations of kobolds over the years. The reptile version is based on D&D's kobolds, but the original German myths had them as a variant on goblins/brownies/house spirits, often inhabiting mines and playing tricks.

Because of growing up playing Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale, Kobolds will always been the upright horned chihuahuas of the AD&D 2E era to me. :P

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Centration. Similar to Spacestation 13, but in 3D and first-person. Sounds damn awesome.
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Urist McLaptop

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9384 on: September 11, 2015, 03:18:36 pm »

I had a fortress in which I was so preoccupied with making food and making sure no one died from lack of food that I forgot doors or any sort of defense. My first danger of any kind took the form of a dragon. Now I had gotten some candy at this point and made a single sword. Again, defense was low on my list. So here comes this dragon melting my dwarves into piles of booze and fat. Every dwarf was consumed in fire (80) after I drafted each of them into the military, I panicked. But one dwarf was left. He was bedridden from a mining accident and broke a leg.he suddenly gets up and takes the candy sword. After beheading the dragon he died because the dragon clawed his torso to shred and melted his insides. Before he died I renamed him to Ronnie James Dio and changed his profession to dragonslayer. And so fell my fortress.
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Legend tells of a fort besieged by a dragon. When 79 brave recruits fell to its breath, the last dwarf of the fort took up arms. He sprung from his sickbed and claimed an adamant one sword before he bulrushes the dragon. A clean swipe severs the head. But the dragon claws him in the lower body and burns him alive. As he melts into a pile of booze and fat, I rename him Ronnie James Dio and change his profession to dragonslayer. He will forever be immortalized and worshipped as a dragonslayer God.

Dozebôm Lolumzalìs

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9385 on: September 11, 2015, 03:37:03 pm »

You do realize doors are useless against [BUILDING_DESTROYER:2]'s, such as dragons, forgotten beasts, and titans, correct?
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Urist McLaptop

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9386 on: September 11, 2015, 03:38:03 pm »

You do realize doors are useless against [BUILDING_DESTROYER:2]'s, such as dragons, forgotten beasts, and titans, correct?
Another thing I learned today, though usually I have an ungodly amount of serrated disc traps
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Legend tells of a fort besieged by a dragon. When 79 brave recruits fell to its breath, the last dwarf of the fort took up arms. He sprung from his sickbed and claimed an adamant one sword before he bulrushes the dragon. A clean swipe severs the head. But the dragon claws him in the lower body and burns him alive. As he melts into a pile of booze and fat, I rename him Ronnie James Dio and change his profession to dragonslayer. He will forever be immortalized and worshipped as a dragonslayer God.

Skribbblie

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9387 on: September 12, 2015, 03:58:19 am »

Another thing I learned today, though usually I have an ungodly amount of serrated disc traps
And, of course, some monsters avoid traps AND don't care about your doors.

In which case, there's always walls. Or raised bridges.

Or SUMMON BIGGER FISH
600+ cave crocodiles
undead ravens
uhhhhhhh forbidden hatches at the tops of your stairways; they can't be destroyed by creatures below them, because that's just not how building destroying works.
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I'm not really sure that maiming someone and forcing them to live with a crippling disability for your amusement can really be considered "merciful." Just sayin'.
Dwarven mercy.

Detros

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9388 on: September 14, 2015, 06:36:19 pm »

The first time i was working with magma, I didn't realize you had to use magma safe materials. I was at a volcano so my fort flooded from the top down. It was awesome. The only survivor was a dwarf who had an artifact iron door that i locked in his room. I like to think that there's still a tiny stone room holding the dusty bones of a lone dwarf somewhere in the midst of a ever burning fortress. Centuries later, archaeologists will be baffled by this lone stone room surrounded by obsidian, miles below the earth.
Sounds like me thinking lead was magma resistant and trying to fill some lead minecarts with it... I think I managed to save one of four minecarts when I closed the input doors fast after three of them melted -.-
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Morcaster

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Re: Face Palm moments you had
« Reply #9389 on: September 17, 2015, 02:56:47 pm »

I Enabled 70 something dwarfs to fish to build one fishery and I ended up with about 3 20x20 stockpiles of fish.
Turns out I needed to enabled FISH FRIGGEN CLEANING and disable fishing. Face palm**
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