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[codyorr]

Well, I'll just dig out all this Obsidian for my mega-project. *Does something else for a few minutes before checking on the progress* Hey, what's with all this red stuff. Oh, the volcano was in the designation area. Crap. *Magma pours out of the hole and over the entrance to the fortress killing all the livestock and trapping the dwarves inside due to some hastily built walls* Ah, I'm safe now. *Newly hot stone is dug out* The end.

[JAFANZ]

How long does it take for a lava flow to become stone?

Exactly as long as it takes for you to pour water over it. DF takes place in a world where magma stays hot until water says otherwise.

. . . I can never go back, can I?

IIRC if you have DFhack there's an "Embark Anywhere" function, use a larger embark including the one you wish to go back to, pause on start, use "Liquids" to drop water on the magma, repeat a few times to ensure you've obsidianised the surface, & you should be (sort of) good.

[Rose]

Embark anywhere won't help you, but adventure mode will.

[javierpwn]

First time using cave-ins to trap goblins, had a hunter with several hunting dogs in the way; the dogs didnt survive the traps....
hunter tantrummed, and killed my chief medical dwarf with a bin inside the meeting hall, where everyone saw him die

[Joemit]

I decided to dam a river so I could have the entrance to my fortress floodable when elves nobles goblins came. To do so I decided to drain the river so I could build the floodgates. I built a room with a staircase in it that led down two z-levels to another drainage tunnel to drain the water into a cavern. I forgot that when you dig a staircase and pour water down it the water ends up on the floor below the last floor on which you build the staircase. I was halfway through construction of the room when I decided that this was about time to tunnel out the dirt next to the room's floodgates, exposing the floodgates to water. However I forgot that water flows diagonally too.
This is kinda what the room looked like:
XXXXX~~~~~~~~~~
XS     F ~~~~~~~~~
XS     F~~~~~~~~~
         F~~~~~~~~~
X           X~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Water
X Stone/Dirt
F Floodgate
S Stairway.

So then the water flowed into the room, out into the other rooms. So I thought, well at least this is all I have to clean up. But no, the water flowing down the staircase flowed into the room below the staircase, flooding at least 4 large rooms. I tried to stop the flood with doors and walls, but to no avail. So then I decided to build another room like that one, which actually worked, taking all the water off the map, despite halving my framerate. But the river had been drained, so that was good. After a series of failures, however, I managed to flood it again.

[Demdemeh]

First post.

I set up an embark in what I thought was a fairly safe place in a warm, yellow-sand desert on the banks of a brook, and set about building an above-ground fort. My miners were hard at work creating a basement for me to house my stone workshops and to secure my more valuable stockpiles. The palisade was about a quarter of the way up around the perimeter of what was to be my surface level. All was going pretty well. My masons were pounding out the blocks, and my nest-boxes were in place, and I was pretty confident. Then, in mid-Autumn, "The Dead walk the earth!"

I hadn't noticed the "Tower" in the "neighbors" section of the embark profile...

I just watched as my 11 Trolls (fortbent mod) were swarmed by three pages of corpses, complete with two Necromancers (one of them listed as a fishery worker ).

[Mortis]

I was just finishing building an emergency reservoir in case of an accident entirely unrelated to a doomsday device I was building when a forgotten beast arrives, slaughters my poorly equipped military, kills a few civilians, then takes up residence in the nearly done reservoir. I quickly wall him in, and divert a river into it. The FB idly swims around in the flooding reservoir, then climbs out of another entrance that I'd forgotten to wall up. He then proceeds to slaughter half my fort, before I cave in the ceiling on him, but the river floods most of my fort, including all my stockpiles and workshops, and then
Urist Mcannoyingdwarf is throwing a tantrum x 20
You can guess the rest

[GuesssWho]

How the fuck can a small parrot steal a battleax?

[Auroness]

... I was pretty confident. Then, in mid-Autumn, "The Dead walk the earth!"

I hadn't noticed the "Tower" in the "neighbors" section of the embark profile...

At least I am not the only one. 

[Sinnorfin]

My Expedition leader furiously wants to eat some fish on the riverside but is constantly interrupted by a huge immobile sponge..
I forbid the item but he doesnt care.

[chaosgear]

One of my recruits is upset about losing her whole family in the centaur attack of '33 and chucked her silver spear into the canyon. Fine by me, she'll just have to fight the lionmen with her bare hands.

[One_Eye_Jim]

When my first goblin siege began, I had been experimenting with burrows. I wanted to be sure no shenanigans ensued during the battle, so I made a big burrow out of the entire fort that was deeper than the soil layer. The goblins didn't put up much of a fight(the only injury was to one of my hammerdwarves, who bruised his toe.) I put the military off duty and forgot about it. Months later, the dwarves started dying of thirst en masse. I checked the stocks screen and I still had plenty of alchohol, and that it was even still being produced. I didn't learn what was happening until I checked the actual stockpile. It turned out that the burrow didn't include the food production wing. My brewer was just sitting there on a massive pile of dwarven wine that he wasn't allowed to bring into the fort...

[Dorftrottel]

I just lost a glorious fort to a rutherer: After the last goblin siege my animal stockpile contained about 15 cave crawlers, 10 Trolls, 20+ goblins...and a male and a female rutherer. I never encountered these before so i checked the wiki...
Wow, they are prime breeding stock? It must be my lucky day! So I trained them thoroughly, assigned them to a locked room...and watched them tearing my legendary miner apart who just came back from his break and felt like taking them for walkies.
So i sent my military after him, 6 steel-clad,danger room trained veterans wielding silver warhammers.
They make short work out of the rogue rutherer. I sent them into the animal training room to discover the remains of my miner so that he could be buried before going bad...
Well, it turned out my legendary miner was the wife of my militia commander, and after a glance of her dismembered corpse he decided to go on a rampage. He bashed the brains of his squad in without more than some bruises in return.
My marksdwarves burst in and nail his feet to the ground until they ran out of ammunition...than the proceeded to punish him for his crimes by bashing the butts of their iron crossbows into his helmet...until they die of thirst while the tantrum spiral already begins to flare...
The fate of my fortress was sealed by some curious children, which tried to catch a glimpse on the pincusion-footed, still going militia commander...only have the body parts of their parents thrown at them.
The Population went from 100 to 30(most of them insane) in a month after that. 

[MonkeyHead]

I just lost a glorious fort to a rutherer: After the last goblin siege my animal stockpile contained about 15 cave crawlers, 10 Trolls, 20+ goblins...and a male and a female rutherer. I never encountered these before so i checked the wiki...
Wow, they are prime breeding stock? It must be my lucky day! So I trained them thoroughly, assigned them to a locked room...and watched them tearing my legendary miner apart who just came back from his break and felt like taking them for walkies.
So i sent my military after him, 6 steel-clad,danger room trained veterans wielding silver warhammers.
They make short work out of the rogue rutherer. I sent them into the animal training room to discover the remains of my miner so that he could be buried before going bad...
Well, it turned out my legendary miner was the wife of my militia commander, and after a glance of her dismembered corpse he decided to go on a rampage. He bashed the brains of his squad in without more than some bruises in return.
My marksdwarves burst in and nail his feet to the ground until they ran out of ammunition...than the proceeded to punish him for his crimes by bashing the butts of their iron crossbows into his helmet...until they die of thirst while the tantrum spiral already begins to flare...
The fate of my fortress was sealed by some curious children, which tried to catch a glimpse on the pincusion-footed, still going militia commander...only have the body parts of their parents thrown at them.
The Population went from 100 to 30(most of them insane) in a month after that.

Yea, you cant really re-use animals the Gobbos use as war mounts. Even if trained they still will attack your civ members.

[Dorftrottel]

Well, now i know

The loss of my first fort ever was also self-inflicted: I was still trying to get the military working, so I relied on a bridge to seal my fortress against intruders. Only a bridge covering the 3 tiles wide entrance, no moat underneath it.
When the first ambush came , I restricted movement of all my dwarfs to the inside of my fortress, waited until the last one crossed the bridge and ordered the Lever pulled...
Which then retracted,leaving my entrance wide open. I only read about raising bridges in the wiki so far, so I didn't know they can do that. I must have somehow hit "x" while figuring out how to build the bridge. So I and my Dwarves learned the hard way...also about the advantages of internal doors, which my fortress totally lacked at this point.