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[Mageziya]

That is Why I always use a two door airlock for ANYTHING to do with fluids (Even magma.), even if there is a floodgate. Always put doors in well areas peeps, always.

[ZestDwarf]

The lever for the aqueduct got quantumly tangled to an extra flood gate and I swear I didn't do it.  The flood gate for the well control of course.  And the backup pressure plate was already tripped so it didn't close the gate automatically when it got to 7/7.

And then of course the master mason jumped into the well and started swimming upstream.  And drowned.  An his pants washed back down towards the well.  And stopped.  On the flood gate tile.  Of course.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I only lost two dwarves.  I had a door in place and everyone was already in a warren becasue of a titan siege.  But now I lost my legendary dining hall.

Sounds like your mason.... -puts on sunglasses- got caught with his pants down. -HEEYEAAAAAAAH-

[Seraphim342]

Started a new fort.  Found out the fort was named Murderedships, and that there were elephants.  "This will not end well" I thought. 

[UristMcLurker]

Now that I finally stopped lurking and actually registered, I can say that most of my facepalm moments occurred when reading this thread and realising I've been doing it all wrong.

[Bigheaded]

Had a game i was doing pretty well on, was turning away a few minor attacks and looting the corpses. Then get one particular attack of 8 goblins, kill 6 of the 8 goblins easy, then the last two went and slaughtered 30-40 dwarfs before a peasant eventually put him out his misery, i then find a fortress which can't cook cos the cooks died and everything is rotting.

Trading... no more is needed i suspect. I begun trading thinking the stupid negotiation thing was it, i was like wuttef is this? where's my stuff i ordered? still don't understand that negotiation thing, ah well, maybe another time. Started trading properly and just bought iron mostly, as i've not actually found any iron ore yet, closest i've come is tetrahedrite. Then i realised you just literally sold a few wooden iron balls and some roasts and you can take the whole caravan, very useful seeing my current area has very little wood and lazy dwarfs too lazy to cut it for some reason.


Waiting 20 minutes for my trader to go to the trade depot, to realise my trader isn't my broker. Surely everyones had that one?

Started a new map, started getting some cool fortifications together and doing pretty well spending a good few hours on it, then to realise that the entire third level is flooded and i have no form of rock WHATSOEVER, no way to build pumps and no clue of how to fix the problem.

Finding an area with a necromancer on it when i suck. So got "boned" by skeletons, didn't do too badly, but heck was too much of a pain in the arse to deal with for too little reward.


couple more from my current fortress:
annoying the dwarf caravan cos i'd knocked out my expidition leader and had not leaders, so they sat by him for ~5 months before i changed expedition leader, then they got pissed off and left. Slightly amusingly, he got knocked out making the well which was then used to give him water.

Had a fairly useful woodcrafter in my military, who chased a kea or something into a river and forgot they he couldn't swim, so i lost him. Took me ages to get the bugger out too! had enough of ghosts in my last game.

From a previous fortress, killed ALL my miners by digging so deep they were too far away from food to go back for it and died in the pit they were in, either that or i made them lose their wills to live. I sent some more dwarves to bury them somewhere, they got lazy and couldn't be assed to come back up, except one looked at the corpses and thought "not for me" and ran off back up the stairs. Left 6 dead dwarfs to haunt my fortress (which then got killed by above mentioned 8 man goblin siege)

[Noobed2696]

The lever for the aqueduct got quantumly tangled to an extra flood gate and I swear I didn't do it.

I just thought... I really have no idea how that flood gate opened.  This was a new set of levers built after the well, and was in an entirely new lever room, and there was no way they could have linked that floodgate up because it was 6/7 or 7/7 water anyway.

dub tee eff.

[xana55]

Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.

[crew4man]

That is Why I always use a two door airlock for ANYTHING to do with fluids (Even magma.), even if there is a floodgate. Always put doors in well areas peeps, always.

I Learned that the hard way, my friend.

[RandolphCarter]

Natural or carved ramps that are adjacent to walls will collapse (disappear) if those walls are mined out. This can strand dwarves, so be careful when removing walls near those ramps.

Rest in Peace Urist McMiner...

[ZestDwarf]

Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.

dump him down a deep pit, He cant dodge the ground. bonus points if you dump him into a deep pit then dump lava on him, even more bonus points if you had it just deep enough for him to lay injured as lava engulfed him, quadruple epic points if you dump him into the circus.

[TheDJ17]

Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.

Did you disarm him before you put him up against your military?

[Iosyn]

I recently created the most perfect water cistern a dorf could have. It had 3 floodgates that emptied onto a same-layer farm, 2 floor hatches that dumped water into a second lower set of cisterns that kept the well by the staircase at a constant level via pressure plate, constructed fortifications and wall grates to strain out foreign contaminants. All surfaces smoothed to glorious perfection.

Later, upon breaking into the first cavern layer I am stunned to find my central staircase flooding.
From above.

An immigrant fisherdorf has decided that despite ensuring the well cistern free of both Tuberculosis and turtles, the emergency dorf cistern exit may possibly have evolved something worth eating after three seasons.
He washed two legendary miners and a mason through 10Z levels of caven air. All the while with that little blue smile on his face.
/facepalm.

Yeah, I forbid doors more now.

Also, Urist McFlood was designated as a pond tile.

[Altaree]

Discovered a vampire.

Walled it off in a room.

Vampire gets a strange mood.

Vampire is now "Running around babbling!"

Vampires cannot die of thirst like the other crazies!

Thinking of pitting goblins in with him.

[xana55]

Used a goblin lasher for target practice.

He got so good at dodging that I can't possibly destroy him without lava.

He's killed 12 people single handed so far, all of them trained military dwarves. Idiot runs straight into my cage trap coated entry hall after slaughtering my military every time though so I'm stuck with him.

Did you disarm him before you put him up against your military?

How do i disarm enemies, I've heard you can but could never figure it out?

[Iosyn]

How do i disarm enemies, I've heard you can but could never figure it out?

IIRC it was d-b-d. Dump everything in the space the cage was on. Make sure to undump the cage, so that some bloody Urist doesn't just come and take the cage first leaving an armed goblin to run through your animal stockpile to shank your butcher. You can also dump them from the stocks screen as most goblin clothes are marked as worn/tattered.

A good way to train your milita is to leave your prisoners whatever pathetic rags and armour they have so they aren't immediately ground into a fine paste by masterwork wood training axes. Seriously, those woodcutters are bloody brutal. No wonder they can chop down trees with wood.