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[MrNuke]

I was making a fortress in a calm forest.

FYI: This was all in the first season
Everything was fine, was making a nice hole in the ground. Dorms, farms, and was starting to make workshop area for carpenter and mason.
Then all of a sudden
Urist McMason has drowned.
HE DROWNED IN A RANDOM POND!
The first thing I do is check for wildlife (Ya know, he might of dodged from something.), and there was nothing there.
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU-
MrNuke cancles play Dwarf Fortress: Raging!

[Shootandrun]

During a BIG siege (at least 100 goblins) a caravan arrived. And with them, of course, many ambushes. They were 150 goblins now. Trolls breaked my doors. Twenty cage traps catched twenty goblins and my ballista killed six of them before getting owned, and after that I had no choice; I released my military. They were at one against 10. All danger-room trained, all legendary, but -goddamnit- all in iron because it was the better metal on my map. If they had steel, or maybe even bronze, they may have survived. The captain of the gard died in the main hallway. The sheriff got cornered in the bedrooms and was killed by six goblin axemans. Two of my axelords made a last stand in the stockpiles. And then... I realize I had forgot about my greatest soldier, my proudest dwarf, the most dangerous of all my army! There was only 20 remaining goblins now, he could do it, he could win in this fight, he could... What?
Dodge into the volcano?

/facepalm.

(He still killed twelve gobs before falling, that idiot.)

[McTraveller]

I'm finally on my longest-lasting fort so far, survived 2 Goblin ambushes (only 2 casualties on my side, unless you count my war dog which I crushed with my bridge - I did take out 2 gobbos with the same bridge though).

My facepalm: I just now realized that, all this time, instead of actually trading with the caravans I've just been giving them stuff for free.  The subtleties between 'offer' and 'trade'! 

PS: First post to the forum!

[TolyK]

welcome to the forum! and yeah, that stuff's kinda confusing XD

I found out that you can teleport to the surface sleeping in the caverns. whoops, so much for killing that FB

[Daveorock]

I just realized that in the fortress overview menu (z) if you press enter, it shows all the animals (tame) and who their owners are, so you don't get a tantrum if you slaughter the wrong one, plus from there you can designate animals to be slaughtered... I spent all that time chasing animals around to mark them and only to get tantrums because I marked the wrong one... I lost one of my forts doing that... for an animal!

EDIT: and I also just found that from there you can change pet availability... though that's not much of a facepalm...

[Samuel]

I'm finally on my longest-lasting fort so far, survived 2 Goblin ambushes (only 2 casualties on my side, unless you count my war dog which I crushed with my bridge - I did take out 2 gobbos with the same bridge though).

My facepalm: I just now realized that, all this time, instead of actually trading with the caravans I've just been giving them stuff for free.  The subtleties between 'offer' and 'trade'! 

PS: First post to the forum!

The first few fortresses I had, I didn't have a clue how the trading system worked. Dwarf and Human traders just brought all their stuff, stood there for a few months, then left. I did figure out how to get stuff from elves in exchange for generous amounts of warhammer to the head, though.

[TolyK]

modding in dwarf blood toxin deviations is not a good thing.

reading all DF talks in 10 minutes is NOT advisable.

[Maynot]

Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

[Samuel]

Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

You would not believe how common this is.

[Maynot]

Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

You would not believe how common this is.

I have figured out to play the corners to force them to build it on the side I want.  They can't build walls diagonally.

[Samuel]

A strange mooding dwarf created a pair of leather shoes. That's not the facepalm, they're pretty nice shoes. However, after she completed them, I noticed she was flickering as if injured.

The creator of a pair of legendary shoes is missing a foot.

[Stoup]

Was reminded of the immense power of horses by one who (in adventure mode) Kicked me into a pond, then while standing at the edge of it smashed my head in.

I didn't know enemies could attack accross Z-levels like that. There was no ramp and I was drowning.

[Sandrew]

Watching my dwarves seal themself behind a constructed wall by building it from the wrong side.

You would not believe how common this is.

I have figured out to play the corners to force them to build it on the side I want.  They can't build walls diagonally.

They also prefer not to build while standing on a tile that already has another designated construction on it. So if you want them to build a wall from one side, build another piece of wall on the side you don't want them to be and suspend it. Then when the wall is finished you can cancel the suspended structure and your dwarf will be on the right side.

[NSQuote]

You can't link a lever to a drawbridge without being on top of said drawbridge.

I almost starved my fort by not realizing this. Locked them all in underneath, didn't notice until booze ran out.

[GreatWyrmGold]

A couple of "Give Water" jobs were canceled because my fort is near the ocean. Oh, well; I have plenty of dwarven wine.
A fishery worker dies of thirst. Huh? That's odd; he's right in the dining room.
Someone else dies of thirst. I check my stocks. Oh, crap, I'm out of alcohol!
This preceded a furious attempt to get a dwarf to stop what he's doing and work on a fortress-saving well before everyone died. About 20 migrants showed up, apparently having just finished a nice skin of wine or whatever. I think the well might get built.