Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Styledatol]

Spent half a year(game year) trying to figure out why almost all of my workshops were cluttered, when I obviously had more than enough haulers. As a result production was slow and things were going south. By pure chance I realized that my dwarves had nowhere to haul the stuff as the stockpile was covered in stone. ~facepalm~

[warwizard]

ok trying 0.31.16, have a fort make it to a barony, and I pick a dwarf that likes adamantine :-) to be the barroness.
 later on I make my first military squad, and presto I have a captian of the guard.
I set the squad to be archers and check justice, 4 to get beatings, no melee weapon on the captain of the guard or the other members of the squad, so it should be fine.

  Hmm some dwarves just died... faces punched in to the brain by the first swing by the captain...


 who is incredibly muscular, mighty, slow to tire and agile <facepalm>
 Mr universe is admistering a beating, you can't even take one hit without dying.

The guard captain now has his personal burrow, I'll let him out for sieges.

[Johuotar]

3.16: embarked next to 2 goblin forts, and ignored military completely.

Helmsdrills: Over 100 dead dwarves and counting!

[Samuel]

I had an absolutely ridiculous amount of facepalm moments trying to get my perpetual motion machine running. First, I forgot to build walls to contain the water flow as it came out of the pump, and the pump operator got washed into the channel, drowning because there was no way out (I had removed the upward ramps). I had to drain the entire thing to get his body out of there, which took so long that he had almost completely rotted by the time they got to it.
Then I tried refilling it, and it took me several minutes to realize that I hadn't resealed the hole I opened up to drain it.
Then I started filling it and made good progress, until I realized I hadn't rebuilt the wall that I tore down so that my dwarves could reach the pump operator's body. I had to drain it again.

Building a giant, physics-defying unlimited energy generating, circular dwarf-made river would be less stressful if I actually knew what the heck I'm going to do with it when I'm done.

[Tonic]

Make invaders fall into this river and use them a target practice while they helplessly go round and round.  Or...do weapon traps work under water?

[FuzzyZergling]

I channeled out a moat, not realizing that I just exposed my farmland to the dreaded sun.

[Pukako]

I've been DF mad for the last month or so, and have accidently killed ,through bad design or planning, a LOT of fortresses.

Finally got one up and running that was GOOD.  You know, dwarves doing decent work, only 2 cats (83 dwarves), military appropriate to deal with goblin thieves and slugmen, caverns walled off but underground tree farms coming on nicely - even went looking for AND FOUND flux and gold...

Then my hard drive melted.  4 month old laptop.  Have to mail it away to get repaired (only one Asus service centre in the country).

Personally, I think this is just another feature of DF - if the invasions, forgotten beast, thirst or starvation don:t get you, it will destroy your computer to make it more difficult. 

I'm currently using my wife's laptop.  It runs at 0 FPS at embarking. Playing is not an option.

Still, all things going well I should be playing an updated version in a few weeks, and a break will probably do me good...

[Samuel]

As soon as I saw the goblin ambush arrive, I knew there was no way to get out unscathed. My military was little more than a ragtag bunch of misfits, with little training. Most of them also suffered the handicap of being dead, courtesy of the last goblin ambush. My only option was to order all my dwarves inside and wait it out. Sure, the goblins would kill all my animals, but we'd make do with what little food we had until the migrants showed up with more animals. So we waited... the Goblins hunted down and killed all the dogs outside, then the horses, the mules, the bulls...
Finally, with nothing left outside, they headed to the fortress entrance. No doubt they were hoping to wait to it out, hoping for one of my dwarves to be foolish enough to go outside. Now, the seige would begin, and it would surely be a battle of will, perserverance and fortitude...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 I forgot to lock the doors.

[Vehudur]

As soon as I saw the goblin ambush arrive, I knew there was no way to get out unscathed. My military was little more than a ragtag bunch of misfits, with little training. Most of them also suffered the handicap of being dead, courtesy of the last goblin ambush. My only option was to order all my dwarves inside and wait it out. Sure, the goblins would kill all my animals, but we'd make do with what little food we had until the migrants showed up with more animals. So we waited... the Goblins hunted down and killed all the dogs outside, then the horses, the mules, the bulls...
Finally, with nothing left outside, they headed to the fortress entrance. No doubt they were hoping to wait to it out, hoping for one of my dwarves to be foolish enough to go outside. Now, the seige would begin, and it would surely be a battle of will, perserverance and fortitude...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 I forgot to lock the doors.

oops.

[Musashi]

Worst of all: my very first forgotten beast coming out from the entrails of the earth. Some metalcrafter, for a reason that completely eludes me, rushes in its direction, possibly to reach the cavern. The slaughter is, well, bloody. Later, before Dwarf Fortress crashed and erased hours of progress including the discovery of these very caverns (another facepalm-worthy moment in itself), when I managed to kill the monster, I found my dorf in two separate pieces. Good job, Urist. You didn't deserve that proper burial.

A well-known one: Urist McMiner digging tunnels for the water. At all times, he is quite able to get back to the surface (for a water source, if he feels especially undwarfish) or near the food stockpiles (for booze). He manages to overwork himself and die of thirst. Maybe the first dorf who deserved a break but didn't take it.

Another: WHY ARMOK ARE THERE FRIGGIN' TREES AND BUSHES GROWING RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DOORS AND FLOODGATES AND NOT ANYWHERE ELSE
Most importantly, WHY WON'T ANYONE CUT THEM DOWN
I didn't give you axes to cut goblins in half! Actually, I kinda did. I mean. Oh, just remove the bloody plants already. There's not even any hostile thing to kill right now.

[Eagle_eye]

I set up a machine to eliminate unwanted dwarves quickly and painlessly. Of course, it turns out the delay on the pressure plate is too long for the device to work, so I expand its range. Two dwarves were killed trying to complete the construction work before I got the pressure plate dismantled....

[Beardless]

Spent six hours preparing for the journey (and wiki-diving, and forum-posting), which was bad enough. Then I realized I'd embarked with no wood or stone. On an aquifer. On a single-biome map. That doesn't freeze. With only sand and loam above the waterline.

Cave in!

I don't do that. On purpose at least. (Does it even work in soil?)

Not to worry though--I have a solution! I shall build a wooden bridge across the river. Then I shall construct a temporary scaffolding down to the exposed rock layer, and voila--past the aquifer! What could go wrong?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

River is more than 20 tiles wide.
River is infested with two full pages of hippos, alligators, and carp.
Intended construction site is under waterfall where minor river flows into the main river.
Minor river has own alligator infestation.
Surroundings are terrifying tropical forest.
Not sure I actually brought a cook. (To build kitchen to render fat to make soap for healthcare.)
High probability of major issues I haven't even thought of yet.

Yup, looks like smooth sailing from here on!

[Urist Imiknorris]

(Does it even work in soil?)

...

Not sure I actually brought a cook. (To build kitchen to render fat to make soap for healthcare.)

Yes.

...

Give Urist McJobless the cooking labor?

[Megaman3321]

I almost killed my Legendary Miner by accidentaly destroying the downwards staircase. Twice.

[Double A]

"Wait, why isn't my squad using the barracks I assigned them with the enter key? Ooops, I just pressed the t key.

Wait.

...

FUCK."