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Author Topic: Blockedlance - No More Stops Until Ragnarok!  (Read 433894 times)

Argonnek

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2310 on: April 03, 2011, 06:21:52 pm »

If I recall correctly, Argonnek the clothier died a while back. As such, I'd like to be dwarfed again. Any more clothiers? If there are, name one... Clovos, slayer of all! Or just Clovos. THERE MUST BE PANTS!

Javarock

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2311 on: April 05, 2011, 05:08:41 pm »

How has my dwarf appeal to request his tower going?
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“When you cut pieces out of the truth to avoid looking like a fool you end up looking like a moron instead.”
― Robin Hobb, Assassin's Apprentice

DerUbermensch

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2312 on: April 09, 2011, 10:13:44 pm »

I know I'm late on this, but here is a Christmas song for Blockedlance

A Blockedlance Christmas

It's Christmas Eve and Urist drops her fists around the nation
"I want some agricultural collectivization!"
There's nothing stirring in the fortress, it's quiet as quiet all night

Tomorrow if we're lucky, all the workers will unite
'Cos there's a elf skull up on the Christmas tree
A hammer for you and an battle ax for me
Good will to Dwarves, lets celebrate
By purging all the enemies of Urist!

Tomorrow I will hold you tight and kiss you my sweet darling
I'll give you chocolate Mogror's and a Christmas candy Urist
We'll play with Christmas toys wearing festive steel hats.
And hope for quick painless deaths.

'Cos there's a elf skull up on the Christmas tree
A hammer for you and an battle ax for me
Good will to all Dwarves, lets celebrate
By purging all the enemies of Urist!

After dinner we'll have lots of fun with Christmas games and laughs
We'll read some vellum books by Urist, Mogror and by Eagle
What Christmas cheer we'll have, oh yes, we'll never have a cheerier
And we'll send Khamerite scum to worth to death out in the above ground.

A elf skull up on the Christmas tree
A hammer for you and an battle ax for me
Good will to all dwarves, lets celebrate
By purging all the enemies of Urist!

Come join us
Bu purging all of the enemies of Urist!
« Last Edit: April 09, 2011, 10:15:23 pm by DerUbermensch »
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DerUbermensch

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2313 on: April 09, 2011, 10:14:07 pm »

Double posted :V
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2314 on: April 12, 2011, 03:51:11 pm »

lol!  Cool.

Ahhh, I remember the days of the workers revolution!  Back i n the days of liberty, equality, and fraternity, when the workers united against that bitchy Queen Cog.  Who could have known that she was actually incredibly tame compared to Urist?

The workers rebelled in the name of communism and socialism.  Urist led them in the name of stability.  Once in power, Urist purged those who did not fit into her Utopian plan, and justified it through capitalistic social darwinism.  Once she had achieved total control and wiped out all opposition, she settled into aristocratic Imperialism, and thus the cycle of revolution was complete.

Old System Decays -> Workers Rebel -> Workers Become the elite -> Leaders of the Elite Purge Enemies -> The New Elite Enslaves the New Workers For Profit -> New System Becomes the Old System

All thats left now is decay and ruin.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2315 on: April 12, 2011, 03:57:13 pm »

How has my dwarf appeal to request his tower going?

After rummaging through Imhotep's old office, young Giovanni got hold of the old master architect's plans for a tower over the front entrance of the fortress.  It had been a wide-eyed dream of Imhotep's, and now Giovanni would steal his glorious plans.  Would he be able to match the architectural genius of Imhotep?  Only time would tell.  Giovanni cared only to convince the Empress of the necessity of a great tower. 

He made his presentation to her in her throne room where he unveiled his elaborate blueprints.





Impressed by the crude MS Paint craft, Urist relented.  There would soon rise a great tower over the fortress entrance.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2316 on: April 12, 2011, 04:01:44 pm »

If I recall correctly, Argonnek the clothier died a while back. As such, I'd like to be dwarfed again. Any more clothiers? If there are, name one... Clovos, slayer of all! Or just Clovos. THERE MUST BE PANTS!

Ok Ill put you back in, and yes we actually need a clothier (EVERYONE is naked, wearing only mud and vomit).  Heres the list of dwarves to be added.  Ze Spy, still waiting on a name for your next dwarf.  Let me know if I have forgotten anyone else.

Ubermensch
Nuthulu    (Hermit)
Clovos     (Clothier)

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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

DerUbermensch

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2317 on: April 12, 2011, 05:35:27 pm »

Can I be a Court Musician, if not, put me as a Clothier as well.
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Ze Spy

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2318 on: April 18, 2011, 04:05:29 am »

I can't Decide between Spaher, Fallen Soldier, or Urjael, Frontiersmen Leeder, TACKtical Genius

Halp
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MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2319 on: April 22, 2011, 02:36:58 pm »

You already used Spaher.  Hes lying safely in the catacombs for all eternity.
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Ze Spy

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2320 on: April 23, 2011, 09:07:02 am »

Oh, right, forgot to delete that damn entry in the "List of Usable Characters.txt"

So, Urjael, Tactical Genius, then
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Argonnek

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2321 on: April 23, 2011, 12:04:06 pm »

As the clothier, I suggest a dress code for all dwarves. Shirts, trousers, socks and shoes for the peasantry, and maybe something with robes and hoods for the nobility. The queen, of course, gets whatever she wants.

MrGimp

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2322 on: April 24, 2011, 11:52:04 am »

Chapter #21 - Skirmishes of Ragnarok
(Special Blood God thanks to Peterix for fixing the siege bug!!!)


The year 288 has befallen us. 



MadMonkey24 couldnt help himself anymore.  He was tired of the endless siege that these elves, kobolds, and goblins had laid around the fortress for decades.  He marched into the prisoner stockpile, grabbed a goblin, and dragged him to the front of the fortress.  He pulled the half-starved goblin out of the cage, and held it up so that the besiegers could see their brethren.  Then MadMonkey threw the bastard back down on the cage traps, laughing wildly as he did so.  Nickel bars sprung up all around the goblin.  They were curved at the top, and met in the middle, forming a nickel cage.  He was trapped (again).  MadMonkey finished off the disgrace by flipping off the watching besiegers, then urinating on the poor caged goblin.

This offense brings us news we have not heard in many decades.  It brings us news we are not prepared for.



The Khamerites were sitting ducks in the courtyard.  Airag quickly ordered the gates shut.  Thanks to the slow movement of goblins in armor, and the abundance of idlers in the courtyard, the bridges were raised before the goblins managed to march through them.  Unfortunately, several Khamerites were outside the walls, gathering plants, wood, and other random junk.  The eastern gate was still open, and they would have to scramble to get inside.

Along the south wall, Captain Coder and his marksdwarves fired down upon an approaching squad of goblins.



Goblin and beak dog were mowed down under a hail of bolts.  Corcha continued to fire as her squadmates were forced to rush back to the barracks to get more ammo.



"If only the Stonecutters had placed bolt stockpiles in the towers once they had finished building them!  Why oh why didnt they place bolt stockpiles?" Corcha was heard to lament.

Elsewhere on the walls, Kaberton was receiving return fire from some goblin bowmen.  Amazingly, an arrow was sent up four z-levels, through some fortifications, and into Kaberton's upper body.  He had been a miner, a Stonecutter, drafted for being a pagan, and now....now he was but a corpse.  He bled to death there on that wall, a sacrifice to glory of the Blood God.



It was at this inopportune moment that the Humans showed up...



Mogror Harbett and the Empress Urist had gathered at the top of the battlements to watch the battle.  When they saw the human caravan they laughed out loud together.  "What a bunch of idiots!" shouted Urist.

"Ha!  Yes, your majesty!  Look!  They cant get in the gates.  Well of course you cant get in the gates!  Theres a siege on you bloody fools!"  Mogror laughed heartily.  "It will be interesting to see if they can make it to the open east gate."

"After breeding a couple more generations of cannon fodder, the goblins have finally found the bollocks to attack our home, and THIS is when the humans decide to attempt a run on the blockade?"  Urist just couldnt believe.

They watched as the caravan made its way around the south side of the fortress, running directly into a squad of goblins.  Urist and Mogror laughed as the Humans tried to dodge the fireballs and turn and run the other way.  Protected by the marksdwarves above, they managed to survive this encounter and continue on towards the east gate.



Over by the eastern gate, a squad of goblins was approaching.  The Khamerites were attempting to run back behind the safety of the fortress walls, when all of a sudden, some kobold bowmen sprung an ambush!



Never before had any of the dwarves of Blockedlance seen a koblod ambush.  Sure there had been thieves....and over the decades surely countless kobold thieves had managed to scurry away with the junk strewn all around the outer edges of the fortress.  By now, Blockedlance was legendary among these kobolds as a den of wealth ripe for the taking.  The poor sods stood no chance in reality....but managed to be a nuisance nonetheless. 



Xanthius 2.0 received a kobold arrow straight to the lower spine.  Not the kind of situation a Khamerite noble ever expected to find himself in, I bet.

A Human caravan guard named Birod chases one of the little buggers around the outer swamplands.  It lasts quite a while, and eventually the kobold was killed.  I couldnt help but hear circus music as I watched Birod running in circles after this guy.



As the caravan and Khamerites manage to flee into the fortress, another ambush of kobolds is sprung.  Jazz is on guard......but is busy catching some Z's.



The humans finish them off however, and Jazz wakes up in time to deal with a squad of Elves on horseback that show up and the end of the long invading rabble.





Goblins, Kobolds, and Elves....they had been besieging us or decades.  Now their first wave has been wiped out.  They had hoped to starve us into submission....but now....now look at them.  Bloody burnt corpses on the ground.  Good riddance. 

Even the combined might of three races cannot defeat us! 
« Last Edit: April 24, 2011, 11:57:30 am by MrGimp »
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Thus ends the official written history of the fortress known as Boatmurdered. May their tortured souls rest in peace.

Tradanbattlan

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2323 on: April 24, 2011, 11:58:13 am »

Poor kobolds.
May their adorable little eyes rest in peace.

EmperorNuthulu

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Re: Blockedlance - Exiled to the Surface!
« Reply #2324 on: April 24, 2011, 12:33:16 pm »





 Isn't there already the vile force of darkness that exists from the crazy armok worshipping dwarves? If anything it's a vile force of crusaders  :P.

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Blargh.
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