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Author Topic: Strange Wars  (Read 8419 times)

firecrystal

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Strange Wars
« on: November 15, 2008, 06:57:07 pm »

I just created a world, and looked at two wars on the legends screen.

The first one was "The War of Eviscerating," and consisted entirely of humans having their crap stolen by kobolds, so they raided the kobold caves, but found that the kobolds moved out before they got there. Every time, for 6 or 7 battles. Six "battles" of uncontested spelunking somehow qualifies as a war.

The next one is more humorous. Apparently, the humans, as always, got pissed at the elves always killing eating them. Except this time, they apparently got angry at one elf, who ran an entire retreat consisting of just him. So the 6 to 8 battles in that war consisted of mostly "6 humans, 3 losses, 1 elf, no losses" all the way back to his retreat, where he surrendered and was captured. I imagine that either this is the elven equivalent of Duke Nukem, or he got his hands on a secret dwarven machine-crossbow gun.

Anyone else find strange legends worth sharing?
« Last Edit: November 15, 2008, 06:58:43 pm by firecrystal »
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Dragooble

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2008, 07:02:22 pm »

a hydra whos killing skills actually improved after he got a head crushed.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2008, 07:05:29 pm »

a hydra whos killing skills actually improved after he got a head crushed.

 Two more grew back?
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CJ1145

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2008, 07:27:03 pm »

I once had a war where the only occurrences of note was three battle in a row, where a Demon broke the toes of each combatant. No one died, and the war ended when a valiant human broke the toes of the demon, and a peace treaty was signed. Biggest "WTF?" yet.
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Fenrir

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2008, 08:02:57 pm »

I once had a war where the only occurrences of note was three battle in a row, where a Demon broke the toes of each combatant. No one died, and the war ended when a valiant human broke the toes of the demon, and a peace treaty was signed. Biggest "WTF?" yet.
If I didn't have to explain myself to those in earshot, I would have laughed heartly.
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Aqizzar

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2008, 09:12:14 pm »

I once had a war where the only occurrences of note was three battle in a row, where a Demon broke the toes of each combatant. No one died, and the war ended when a valiant human broke the toes of the demon, and a peace treaty was signed. Biggest "WTF?" yet.

The Annoying Conflict was waged by The Heavy Boots on the The Big Bad Guy. One of the most significant causes of the conflict was a dispute over the placement of feet.

"Seriously you jerks, there's enough room in here for all of us.  Back up a bit."
"Never!" *stomp*
"Dammit!  You want to play this game?" *STOMP*
"OW!  Hey, come on man, we were just foolin'."
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Roundabout Lout

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2008, 04:58:28 pm »

I had a goblin civ wage war on one man before. He was the only one left in the town after the elven wars, and then the goblins decided to kill him for a dispute over the rivers (WTF!!!! He's one man, but he's drinking too much of our water/overfishing?
He survived for a LONG ASS time. I have war entries like
A:25 humans,3 goblins, 2 elves, 20 losses
D: 1 human no losses (!!!!)
60 notable kills = biggest worldgen badass EVER!!!!
What happened to him, you may ask? Well he got shot.
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Creamcorn

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2008, 07:51:04 pm »

I remember always custom genning worlds where the elvs didn't survive the first year.

Apparently no one was happy with them eatting sentient beings, although I wonder which ones since they never participated in any wars, that or something about a river.
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Milskidasith

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2008, 10:54:12 pm »

I had a war waged entirely against a dwarf with no arms or legs once. He had 23 recorded kills. 0_o
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WorkerDrone

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2008, 11:20:21 pm »

The head butt of doom.
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Neoskel

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2008, 01:58:38 am »

I had a war waged entirely against a dwarf with no arms or legs once. He had 23 recorded kills. 0_o

It's only a flesh wound.  :D
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Asehujiko

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2008, 06:49:54 am »

Humie-Gobbo conflict(multiple wars, each 1 or 2 battles long). Early on, the humans enslave an entire dark fortress and get backstabbed by the elves, losing most of their towns. The gobs however, snatch a little over 20 childred. 250 years of constant bickering later, the last free human died, resulting in the civ consisting completely of goblins and 1 elf(the sole survivor of the human's only victory against them). On the goblin side, life was not much better either. They lost their demon almost immediatly, murder took a huge toll on their native forces and the captives outbred their masters, resulting in most of their southern locations being occupied by 1 goblin(there was nobody else to murder him). By that time, another elven civ started hogging the population cap and attacked the goblins in the rear, resulting in the destruction and consumption of the last gob only fortress. Leaving just 6 of them alive in the whole world, despite their civ being the second largest in the world before the elves swept in and simply ate everybody.
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Roundabout Lout

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2008, 12:28:15 pm »

Humie-Gobbo conflict(multiple wars, each 1 or 2 battles long). Early on, the humans enslave an entire dark fortress and get backstabbed by the elves, losing most of their towns. The gobs however, snatch a little over 20 childred. 250 years of constant bickering later, the last free human died, resulting in the civ consisting completely of goblins and 1 elf(the sole survivor of the human's only victory against them). On the goblin side, life was not much better either. They lost their demon almost immediatly, murder took a huge toll on their native forces and the captives outbred their masters, resulting in most of their southern locations being occupied by 1 goblin(there was nobody else to murder him). By that time, another elven civ started hogging the population cap and attacked the goblins in the rear, resulting in the destruction and consumption of the last gob only fortress. Leaving just 6 of them alive in the whole world, despite their civ being the second largest in the world before the elves swept in and simply ate everybody.
This madness can be seen directly under the original post.
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Demology

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2008, 02:20:42 pm »

I decided to look in to legends, something i rarely do.
And the first war i see is a pretty strange one.
A titan vs a Kobold well he was the only kobold left in his cave.
First attack the Titan hits the kobold in the left eye and bruises it then the Kobold manages to escape.
Second attack a season later the Titan hits the Kobold in the right eye and bruises it, still the lucky kobold manages to escape.
Third attack yet another season later the Titan hits the kobold and rips his left eye out, and the kobold bleeds to death. 
Wonder what else il find. prob just a lucky hit.
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Creamcorn

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Re: Strange Wars
« Reply #14 on: November 19, 2008, 03:51:06 pm »

Humie-Gobbo conflict(multiple wars, each 1 or 2 battles long). Early on, the humans enslave an entire dark fortress and get backstabbed by the elves, losing most of their towns. The gobs however, snatch a little over 20 childred. 250 years of constant bickering later, the last free human died, resulting in the civ consisting completely of goblins and 1 elf(the sole survivor of the human's only victory against them). On the goblin side, life was not much better either. They lost their demon almost immediatly, murder took a huge toll on their native forces and the captives outbred their masters, resulting in most of their southern locations being occupied by 1 goblin(there was nobody else to murder him). By that time, another elven civ started hogging the population cap and attacked the goblins in the rear, resulting in the destruction and consumption of the last gob only fortress. Leaving just 6 of them alive in the whole world, despite their civ being the second largest in the world before the elves swept in and simply ate everybody.
This madness can be seen directly under the original post.

I always thought those were elephants, than again I could be wrong.
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