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[Ravenplucker]

Behold, my greatest artifact!

Zegzalud, "Tattoofuture"

This is a Alder cabinet. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of Ash. On the item is an image of a narrow crescent in Alder. On the item is an image of a oak in ash.

Worth a truly staggering 4800DB


Mind you, it is also my first.

[assimilateur]

Your sarcasm is ill-conceived in this case. Not only is the value of 4.8k not even the lowest possible (that would be 2.4k), but a cabinet is actually pretty damn useful. Put it in the room of its maker and said room's value is gonna be like 1/4 legendary already.

[Nyxalinth]

A Copper Hammer called "Smash Face"

...Hammer called "Smash Face"

...Hammer Smash Face

Most of my guys were named after metal artists.

It wasn't worth much but it's still awesome and owned by my legendary hammerdwarf.

I once named my original seven after Dethklok, plus CFO  (expedition leader) and, ugh, Dr. Rockso.  They all got eaten etc. by skeletal alligators. I think they would have approved

I'm such a fangirl...

[stormyseasons]

my current best artifact is from my second weaponsmith fey mood. Called stoodstoker the ram of misery, a blackmetal crossbow. (blackmetal - digdeeper mod metal) Worth 237600 dwarf bucks, has a image of itself on it in amazonite, a image of cedar in red zircon, and a image of a historical event in blackmetal.

[Radivnal]

Heyo, I've been a long-time player and decided to get more involved in the DF community (noting that most of what I read on the forums has me laughing harder than most stand-up comedians) so I figured I'd share an artifact that was made early on in my current 12-year Fortress:

"Umozimgoz Nist Gur, "Rampagesundered the Fear of Bowels", a Aluminum spear"

 This is a Aluminum spear. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of donkey leather and Brown zircon. This item menaces with spikes of Aluminum and turtle bone. On the item is an image of Rampagesundered the Fear of Bowels the Aluminum spear in Aluminum. On the item is an image of Rampagesundered the Fear of Bowels the Aluminum spear in Aluminum. On the item is an image of a pig tail in frill shark leather."

Weight: 108, Value: 222000DB

So uh...yeah...it's basically an artifact spear that has goblin bowels everywhere quaking in fear...I never thought the RNG had a particularly dirty "mind" but ever since then I've been reading my artifact names in a new light... o.o

[Amalgam]

At first I thought the spear must have been named after a particularly impressive fart, loud enough to strike fear into the hearts of anyone unlucky enough to be within a five-mile radius, but then I came to the conclusion that it was meant to skewer people in the ass with.

What has dwarf fortress done with my mind.

[DwarfOfDefeat]

  i can never last long enough D:< i want an artifact

[Mraedis]

i can never last long enough D:< i want an artifact

What? Not long enough? I have 23 now...

[assimilateur]

You should use "The Fear of Bowels" in an upright spike trap, impaling goblins through the ass with it. Obviously the creator had such a use in mind when he named it.

[Amalgam]

You twist the embedded Aluminum spear around in The Goblin's lower body!

[tombthedwarf]

Once I had a solid amethyst throne, "the entrance of alliance" pretty epic, my first artifact ever if I remember correctly (no leather earring for me).

[Radivnal]

I hadn't thought of using the Fear of Bowels as a spike trap...*writes another note on things he needs to do with his fortress...*...it mostly sits pretty in my weapons stockpiles.

[Toxicles]

The most insane one I've gotten I count as my favorite.  It was a floodgate.

Made by a jeweler.

This is a Yellow grossular floodgate.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is decorated with Rubber tree.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of Aluminum and menaces with spikes of Yellow grossular, Willow, turtle shell, and dark gnome bones.  On the item is an image of pig tails in Yellow grossular.  On the item is an image of waves in hoary marmot bone.
On the item is an image of The Sick Void the Aluminum earring in Native copper.

The Sick Void is a (significantly less exciting) artifact I got earlier in the game.  I have like 20 engravings of it.  I figured engravings would be the end of that damn thing, but now they're putting it on OTHER artifacts.

[A-chana]

Now that my fort's developed some more, here's my absolute best, which will never be topped:

"This is a cedar puzzlebox. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of cedar."

Took only one cedar log to make, is worth 2400 dwarfbucks, and the best part? It's named "'Kooks II' Shipink". As in, after its creator. Granted, its creator was probably not even two years old at the time and had a broken arm, so I probably shouldn't expect wonders.

But, seriously, right now my best worthwise is Clawlauded the Stirred Banner, worth 94,800 DB. It was my third artifact.

"This is a lead spear. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with silver and encircled with bands of lead, ruby, and pike leather. It menaces with spikes of lead and giant cave spider silk."

In terms of coolness, there's the recently-made Pointyold, worth 50,400 DB and the result of a possession, I think, but still cool for the images. Screencap here because it's a bit long.

Triflingmatch is a boot that menaces with a lot of spikes (some fishbone), is covered in the blood and vomit of goblins, kobolds, monkeys, and dwarves, and is equipped by a Champion Founder Wrestler who 1) was the first dwarf in the fort to gain a title and 2) can crush people's spines by sneezing on them. Tun is the current queen and is rather boring aside from that. Belinzy would go insane sometime in summer 206 and have to be put down by a Champion wrestler and a lot of trigger-happy marksdwarves, but this is still the only record on my artifacts of my dwarves killing things.

[Magick]

Mastertrapped the adamantine axe.
made out of ten adamantine wafers.
It menaced with spikes of adamantine, was adorned with hanging rings of adamantine, was encircled with bands of adamantine. Need to find that pic i had.

Edit:Oh, and it had about two or three pages worth of engravings on it.