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[Zako]

The burning bodies song should totally be in the story. PLEASE, put the song in!

[Groveller]

Diary of Wilber

So I've been noticing ninja's all over the place lately. Killed 9 of em meself last week when I was ambushed. It was a tough fight though, lost some o' me beard when their leader started shooting lasers from his eyes. I just shoved his own foot up his own ass til the sweat on his knee quenched his thirst. Yarp. Lifes good when theres fighting and booze aplenty.

---------------------------------

Hah! If you could work with that then you'd have to be a god at storytelling. I can see Wilber being his own little side story, like Glacies, except as more of a comic strip. 'Wilber the Slayer: Episode 5 - Attack of the Ninjas' has a nice ring to it.

The obvious exit there is that Wilbur's completely batmanshit insane. Don't tempt fate, AKA Heavy Flak, lest you spend the rest of the story arguing with your bed and sparring with a table.

[CanadianWolverine]

War'dunell Dakostuzol 6th of Granite, 1068

*many doodles of axes of all shapes and sizes line the borders ... which apparently has red sand glued on it in a decorative fashion*

Eita and Sarek sitting in a tree,
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love, then comes marriage,
Then comes a goblin's head in a baby carriage!

Sarek and Eita went up a hill,
To fetch a pale of ale brew,
Eita fell down and broke a fart,
Sarek wrestled with her after.

Hehe... I am a terrible poet but ribbing these two is just too much fun to pass up right now.

Lenod ("god") I am bored, I wonder if they need another pair of hands hauling, would be a nice chance to get out in the beautiful sand more...

[Jim Groovester]

Notes of Hikan Riddlewire, kept on his person.
Continuation for the week of 1st Granite, 1068.

Vatek and I briefly talked to injured Orbsbarb brat about his injuries by camels, wondering if there was any involvement with our killer. Only camels, he said. Straw-grasping not working for the case. Need new evidence.

Workers still eerily quiet and glaring at me when I walk around. Developed habit of walking with hand in trenchcoat, grasping spear in case of attack.

Trenchcoat practically overflowing with notes. Had to gather all of them up quickly when some dwarf bumped into me, causing them to spill everywhere on the floor. All of them contain incriminating information; will risk killer attacking me in the wastes to transfer notes to journal. Hope I don't end up with smile on my face and missing my intestines.

Udib wonders why I go to Dodik's. To fill up flask in waterfall, I tell her. Water in pool in front of Zefon's temple tastes like nightmares and depravity because of tentacle demons. I have no need of whores or drink.

* * *

I could see the adventures of Wilber being an entertaining sub-plot, with his accounts differing wildly from the rest of his squad, in that they would be far more interesting, and might tell their own story equivalent to a Saturday morning cartoon show. They could even have their own ridiculous PSAs.

"And remember kids, don't go chasing Grov's ghost. You could get severe injuries by the Dread Camels."
"Thanks, Wilber!"

[Eita]

Heavy Flak, the thing is that the only thought on my mind after that tirade is to play a game of DnD where you're DMing.

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 10^th of Granite, 1068

Zako was running late, as it seemed Maggarg had hidden his quiver and knee brace and Adol was playing innocent on the matter.  Adjusting the straps, he bolted into the sun light and started across the courtyard to join Rolland and Sparrow on their shift patrolling the borders.  But as he hit the tiles running, he had to skirt to the side and spin as Sgt. Pepper came lumbering past him, hauling two huge oak barrels on his immense shoulders.

"Pardon me, corpse."
"Of course, blood-bag."

Zako stopped in his tracks.  Turning to glare at the mask-wearing Dwarf, he narrowed his eyes, resting his palm on the handle of his crossbow.  "What's with the barrels, corpse?  You're not on kitchen detail."
"I'm carrying them someplace."

"Where?" Zako said, his eyes narrowing.  "What could you need booze barrels for?"
"They're not booze," Sgt. Pepper said, the eyes behind the mask crinkling in a smile.
"Then what are they?"
"Bull shit.  I've been saving it for weeks in these barrels.  Now that you're going on duty, I'm going to empty them out in your stupid little room."

"Oh, that is IT!" Zako said.  He tugged his sleaves up a little higher and pulled his crossbow into the ready position.  Sgt. Pepper barked out a harsh laugh and took a step forward, his boots thudding heavily on the stone. 
"You want to tangle?  Last time we played I broke your leg."
"Last time I was learning to wrestle, you gorilla.  This time I'm just going to shoot you."

The tension was broken as Sparrow called from the gateway.  "Zako!  Come here, we need your help!"
"What is it?" Zako called over his shoulder, not taking his eyes off of Sgt. Pepper.  "I'm a wee bit busy."
"We found, well, we found a jaguar in the desert."
"What?"  Both dwarves said.  Zako turned, staring at his squad mate, and even Sgt. Pepper seemed moderately interested. 
"Yeah..." Sparrow said, scratching his neck.  "It's dehydrated, half starved, looks in bad shape.  But it's alive, not... well, you know.  No offense."
"None taken," Sgt. Pepper said jovially. 
"I should find Jools.  I bet he'll know what to do with it." Zako said in a burst of inspiration.
"Good, I'll get a bucket and some water, and we can move it in... maybe we can train it?  Can you train them?"

There was no answer - Zako had vanished down the stairs once more in a flurry of cloak and quiver.  Sparrow bolted towards the well to grab a bucket and some water.  And Sgt. Pepper, left alone, started whistling tunelessly, walking towards the southern bridge with his barrels in tow.


***

OOC: Oops!  Forgot the unneeded picture!

[Zako]

Ahhh, the apprentice is becoming the master... Excellent...

[sonerohi]

Heavy Flak, you good sir, are my hero.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Diary of maggarg
Hell of a lot of fun being back in sparring again.
There's a distinct smell of the leavings of bulls around here.

[Keifru]

Diary property of Kivish. Theft will result in a 'wine in front of me' dilemma.
Date: Today

Zako was being rude to Sgt. Pepper when the news that a jaguar was broken!
I can't believe one came so far south, into this Lenod-blasted land!
AND IT IS NOT UNDEAD!!

Bellow is a picture of two dwarves. There is a picture of a dwarf. There is a picture of a jaguar. The two dwarves are making threatening gestures. The dwarf is pointing at the jaguar. The jaguar has meat on it.

[Heavy Flak]

The events of the 14^th of Granite, 1068

Word had gotten around the fortress, fast as wild fire.  Today was the showdown, the big event, the Slaughter, and every Dwarf that had the shift off or could sneak away from their duties had showed up for the event.  The parapet was a forest of poorly-hidden heads peeking down below, the small slope doted with Dwarves in folding chairs sharing wine and picnic lunches.

As Aryn and his honor guard tromped down the road towards Stravitch's construction site, he muttered curses to himself, tried to keep tally of the Dwarves shirking duties, but the named flitted from his mind like smoke on the wind.  A vein was throbbing in his forehead, he could feel it pulsing with each heart beat and it just made him more irritable.  He paused briefly at the road to untie the parchment he held, letting it unfurl as he stepped towards Vatek - already preparing to meet the foursome - and Stravitch - who hadn't even bothered to look at the assembling Dwarves on the slope. 

"Captain Fillwhip," Aryn said.  His voice was loud, authoritative, and he did his best to project it, to let it bounce off the cinnabar and the sands, to reverberate through the courtyards so that all could be certain of his actions.   "I order you to stop this construction immediately.  Regardless of what this is meant to be, it will be an eyesore to our community.  It will frighten away traders.  It's very essence is one of malice and poison, and it threatens to damage our youth and our sick.  This travesty has been ignored for too long, and I am the only one to blame.  No longer, though.  Construction stops now."

"No.  It doesn't."

Aryn's upper lip curled into a snarl, his eyes narrowing.   Hikan rolled the toothpick he was chewing on around in his mouth, subtly shifting the spear he held in his grasp.  "Captain Fillwhip, turn around and address me respectfully.  I'm not saying this as leader of this fortress, I'm saying this as your superior, and your commander.  The Fortress Guard follows the will of the mayor, who in turn listens to me.  I am ORDERING you to stop this."

Slowly, Stravitch turned to stare at Aryn and his guard.  Aryn held steady, even as his enterouge took the smallest of steps backwards.  His great brow furrowed, but his eyes blazed with malice and ill humor.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Aryn."
That took Aryn off guard.  He blinked, his eyes narrowing.  "Talk to me about what, Stravitch."
"I'm not sure I like having you as a boss.  You're an ass.  And I don't really like following all these orders you're trying to sling around.  I quit."
"You WHAT?"

Stravitch reached up under his cloak, and Hikan, Udib and Athel readied their spears.  But when he pulled his hand back into view, he held his silver star badge of office.  He pitched this, the little trinket hitting Aryn in the chest before dropping into the sand.  Slowly, a wide, terrible grin spread over his face, eyes hidden behind the darkness of high cheekbones and glowering brows. 

"The whole Guard is disbanded.  Try to keep the peace without us, Aryn.  And... as a private citizen, I'd suggest you get off of my property.  You're trespassing.  And I'll smash your skull with my mace.  Go!  Wait-"  His hand shot out, grabbing Vatek by the collar.  "You're staying here, you're still my assistant."
"Oh, no..." Vatek moaned, his heels leaving twin tracks in the sand. 


This was punctuated by a scream, from across the sands.  Heads snapped to the side, fighting to see through the heat haze and the sandstorms.  One of the keener-eyed Dwarves gasped, and pointed a shaky hand down the road.
"GOBLINS!  AN AMBUSH!  CURSE THEM!  They've... they got one of the Dock Workers!  Oh god, they're attacking her."

Stravitch's threw his head back and roared terrible laughter.  Aryn gawked at him as if he had gone mad, before turning and barking out orders.  His honor guard turned on their heels and sprinted towards the fortress to round up the soldiers.  Stravitch turned, shouting to the cowering construction crew, "GET TO WORK!  There are more terrible things in these sands than some green skinned bastards, and you're looking at one of them.  GO!"

[Jim Groovester]

Wow. That's an update. Though I don't see how Stravitch could just disband the whole guard. I guess it depends on whether the rest of the guards follow Stravitch's example or Vatek's.

Who will you have replace him, if the whole fortress doesn't burn down in the meantime? I know at least one very eligible candidate....

Oh, and I just looked at the poison cathedral, and it's shaping up pretty well, what with all the spikes and buttresses and stained glass windows... of evil!!!

[neo1096]

Wait a sec. Stravitch is an idiot. Aryn can just reform the guard and now Stravitch doesn't have his mace anymore. How will he protect himself if he doesn't wear armor and use a mace. His death is practically a certainty now...
Also there is no private property in Migrursut.

[thunderclan]

Who do you think would be insane enough to try to take Stravitch's mace away from him? 

[neo1096]

He's not a military dwarf anymore, so he doesn't use weapons.