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[The Canadian kitten]

Hide!
Also start chugging the coffee bag

[crazyabe]

Wake-up.

[King Zultan]

While continuing to scream incoherently I shall steal all the neighbors garden gnomes.

[Ozarck]

Spotlight?! They’re looking for me?! Hide!

(4) You crawl out from under the fence wreckage and crawl under a nearby Jeep. The spotlight swivels around for a couple minutes then goes dark. The loudspeakers remain silent. A leaf blows by. You shiver a little from the mild cold weather.

Hide!
Also start chugging the coffee bag

(6) You quickly dart around a corner and down a short hallway. You can still see the entrance doors from here, so the manage might see you if he steps in, so you ease backward into a nearby room and close the door. You open your bag of coffee and stuff a fistful in your mouth which goes as well as you might expect. sputtering a bit you turn to look for a chari and are met by the lifeless gazes of three BiggO employees. They look at you wearily, until they notice the bag ...

Wake-up.

You want me to roll for waking up? After you called in sick already? Okay~~~
(6)You gaze at your dull grey ceiling for a minute before turning on your beige shaded lamp and throwing off your light tan blanket and swing your iron blue pajama'd legs over the side to put your feet into your regulation standard slippers.

And suddenly, it comes to you.

The true purpose of Manager Co.

It is not money. No, Stock Holdings ltd is about money, but Manager CO is not.

It is not about power. No, that is the domain of Media Messaging Consultancy and Aqcuisitions, Inc.

Manager Co is far more insidious far more soul-draining.
Manager Co is the front for an organization dedicated to the advancement of one of hte Great Old Ones: the Demon Enn- u'i. featurelessness, neutrality. Neither emotion nor passion nor reason nor energy. The Rote, the Routine, the Uniteresting. Manager Co. does not train quality business leadership it breeds living zombies - men and women devoid of initiative, power or desire. Husks and automatons in a world without color without hope, without direction. Because "here, now" is all there is and in the heare and now all there is is the routine. The ordinary. The bland. The Job.

You want to scream but you feel .... nothing, and you wonder if screaming would disturb the ... not the Tranquility for the re is no peace in the Dull. You wonder if screaming would disturb the Process.

While continuing to scream incoherently I shall steal all the neighbors garden gnomes.

(3) completely undisturbed by Eldritch thoughts about boredom and busy-ness, you run screaming into a yard and grab hold of the nearest lawn ornament. An Old man with a rake comes to chase you off, but, as you begin to lift the surprisingly heavy "Dog Looking Like It Is About TO Dig A Hole," He drops his rake and grabs the ornament as well. Now there are two men on the lawn yelling incoherently, and not a cloud in sight.

[Megam0nkey]

Find if I have a car here, if I do use it to get out the fence. By ramming if there’s people watching the exit. I’m going to take a walk dammit!

[King Zultan]

Continue my incoherent screaming while fighting the old man for possession of the gnome!

[The Canadian kitten]

Start stuffing coffee into their mouths, I will make them see the holy light of caffeine

[Ozarck]

Find if I have a car here, if I do use it to get out the fence. By ramming if there’s people watching the exit. I’m going to take a walk dammit!

(3) this isn't a very vehicle-friendly giant skull-shaped island, but you do have a moped parked down the street. You walk over to the building enter the side door, cross the lobby step out onto the sidewalk in front of the lobby, and start walking toward your moped. Today is a good day to drive a moped over a broken fence.

Continue my incoherent screaming while fighting the old man for possession of the gnome!

(5) you out-scream the older fella, and out-wrestle him for his lawn ornament. He falls backward onto his ass, looking a bt stunned, and you take the opportunity to storm off,, grumbling incessantly as you do, dog statue in your arms.

Start stuffing coffee into their mouths, I will make them see the holy light of caffeine

(1) you grab a fistful of grounds and stalk menacingly toward the trio, ,growling "eat this!" at them. This breaks the spell the coffee bag had on them, and they scramble up and away from the madman in their midst, rushing out of the break room as quickly as they can. One of them even mutters something about "work to do." You suspect he was being insincere.

[Megam0nkey]

This works, ride out and across the island! Once I feel safe, stop my moped and take a walk!

[King Zultan]

Quickly now that I have the dog statue I must scream my way back to my house and into my basement!

[Radio Controlled]

Who dis?: Droney McDroneface
After the global war on terror wound down, the little Reaper drone that could found itself obsolete and summarily discharged. However, with the same vigor he would hunt for high value targets in the desert of Afghanistan, he soon found himself chasing down and eliminating office inefficiencies! 
Who you work for?: BlackstoneRock. BlackRock. Yes.
Where dat?: The heart of corporate scum and villainy. Downtown.
Why you no here? Oh no, faulty connectors led to a delayed recharging cycle! Damn you Tesla charge station!


Quick, initiate pre-flight check!

[BlackPaladin99]

Who dis? : Enam to revetahw
Who you work for? : Evil Inc.  Your standard evil corporation bent on overtaking the world
Where dat?: Sewers
Why you no here?: sick of planned, orderly crime, want to randomly and chaotically cause havoc

I silently lay in bed and think of all I have to cause havoc with

[The Canadian kitten]

Does the breakroom have a coffee maker? use that to make coffee

[Ozarck]

Not gonna lie, six players is more than I expected this game to attract.

This works, ride out and across the island! Once I feel safe, stop my moped and take a walk!

(4) You ride away from the residential block, past the ferry and New Personnel Induction Center, and down to the Hazardous Wildlife Reserve. You head down to the beach and park your moped. You feel safe here as the hazardous wildlife in this area are mostly aquatic - sharks, octopi, alligators, and the like - and the beach is pretty nice at this time of day. The Skull doesn't block the sun until evening, so you enjoy a nice casual walk in the sand. The ominous splashing of the waves on the beach, the distant sound of city traffic across the bay, and hte chittering, growling ,and hooting of the dangerous wildlife a bit further inland all blur into a welcome white noise washing away the worry and stress like nothing else can.

Quickly now that I have the dog statue I must scream my way back to my house and into my basement!

(4) Voice is getting hoarse, and you've got the dog. You take it into the basement and plunk it down on your workbench, grumbling smugly to yourself. You know you are probably getting arrested for this right? Or worse - written up at work. Well, if you scream enough you might get a medical exemption for really screwing up your voicebox. ... or maybe a shady doctor could write you an excuse anyway.

Who dis?: Droney McDroneface
After the global war on terror wound down, the little Reaper drone that could found itself obsolete and summarily discharged. However, with the same vigor he would hunt for high value targets in the desert of Afghanistan, he soon found himself chasing down and eliminating office inefficiencies! 
Who you work for?: BlackstoneRock. BlackRock. Yes.
Where dat?: The heart of corporate scum and villainy. Downtown.
Why you no here? Oh no, faulty connectors led to a delayed recharging cycle! Damn you Tesla charge station!


Quick, initiate pre-flight check!

Ah, and here is our first truly non-standard employee. And yet, somehow, the first one that seems to take it's job seriously. Strange indeed. (5)Pre-Flight checklist goes smoothly. All systems are in standard working order. Your program executes a function to schedule a "Requisition" for replacement connectors. It would be inefficient to go through 'proper' channels, as past experience demonstrates that management tends to delay replacement, overlook preventative maintenance and deprioritize repair for ... unknown reasons. No matter - their reasons are irrelevant, as they create inefficiency. Anyway, you are flight-ready and fully loaded!

Who dis? : Enam to revetahw
Who you work for? : Evil Inc.  Your standard evil corporation bent on overtaking the world
Where dat?: Sewers
Why you no here?: sick of planned, orderly crime, want to randomly and chaotically cause havoc

I silently lay in bed and think of all I have to cause havoc with

(4) You are a cog in the machine at Evil Inc. When a cog breaks, chaos happens. You could go in to work and misfile reports, order unnecessary doomsday devices, or set off the emergency sprinklers, for instance. At home, well, you have standard stuff one might have on an office worker's salary. Plus a lot of special soap capable of removing sewage from clothing skin and surfaces. You have some savings set aside. Perhaps you could order a supervillain kit or something, to help with your start up business of independant villainy. You also have matches. Nothing says chaos quite like burning something down.

Does the breakroom have a coffee maker? use that to make coffee

(5) The breakroom has two coffee makers. One for regular and one for decaf. You put the coffee in both after giving each a bit of a cleaning to get rid of the standard nasty instant residue or whatever it is that is so common in breakroom coffee machines htat makes the coffee terrible. Well, the cleaning seems ot have worked as your coffee comes out strong, dark, and not awful.

Spoiler: employers and their current rogue or awol employees (click to show/hide)

Generic Corp (3rd floor): Generic White Collar Worker #2514, coffee obsessed shopper at BiggO
Super Security Place (contractors): Bob McGeneric. Loves garden gnomes and screaming. Is expecting visitors with badges
Evil Corp (skull Island): Yourname O. Whatever, nature enthusiast and enemy of fences
Manager Co (3 1/4 floor): Bob Bossman. Currently pondering the Nature of Boredom
BlackRock (corporate downtown): Droney McDroneface, powering up and rearing to go out and eliminate hostile inefficiencies
Evil, Inc. (sewers): Enam to revetahw. Wage slave dreaming of becoming an entrepreneur

[The Canadian kitten]

DRINK