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[King Zultan]

(5) You leap into the air and pull it into your arms before it can strike the wall. Nothing is left to obstruct your plan. But will you go through with it? Can you go through with it? Can you kick this living, breathing being, having held it in your arms and saved it from certain death?

YES

DROP KICK THAT BABY!

[Horizon]

Go to bar, drink sorrows away.

[TricMagic]

Hunt down String Co for their Secret Time Travel Schematics.

[Elephant Parade]

This Game Will End In Four Turns

Well, the world is safe. Do nothing.

(5)

The mission of making sure the game ends is too important to be left up to chance. Ask around about if there's a secret sub-group with a back-up plan to make sure it ends.

(3) Your inquiries lead you to a cloaked man in a back alley. Now, he's not saying any such organization exists, but if one hypothetically did, their best way of ensuring the game's end would be to kill all the players. And if you wanted to hypothetically join them, helping them enact this hypothetical goal would be a good way to signal your (hypothetical) allegiance.

Continue preaching:

FORSOOTH, I DECREE THAT EGGPLANTS MUST RISE UP AGAINST VEGETARIANISM!  Is vegetarianism cruel and unusual punishment?  THUS FROM NOW FORTH MAN SHAN'T NOT EAT NO NOTHING EVER NEVER Will AGAIN be are but to for and FORKLIFTS SUDDENLY Raise up forks with their hydraulic sheep shearers. GENTLEMEN RUB MY GOAT’S HORN WITH THIS STEEL ICEPICK, THE MADAGASCAN ICEPICK MUST THINK OF STRAWBERRIES THAT TASTE LIKE SHIT BECAUSE IT NEEDS SaLt.

(3) People liked the first reading better; this one, audience members mutter, seems a bit random. Listeners begin to drift away.

Cry

(2) Crying in court is also illegal.

(5) You leap into the air and pull it into your arms before it can strike the wall. Nothing is left to obstruct your plan. But will you go through with it? Can you go through with it? Can you kick this living, breathing being, having held it in your arms and saved it from certain death?

YES

DROP KICK THAT BABY!

(1) The baby dodges your kick, lands on both feet, and strikes upward with the Thousand Rising Mountain Punch. You are sent flying into the air!

Go to bar, drink sorrows away.

(2) Bars are verboten per the New Prohibition. See Brewer Bob's action chain for more info.

Hunt down String Co for their Secret Time Travel Schematics.

(6) You've been too obvious. While you were hunting down String Co., they were hunting you; and so the first you take onto their secret temporal facility in the jungles of New York is met with a round to the head from a trained sniper. You die.

[Egan_BW]

Do nothing!

[Fluffe9911]

"Well... atleast now I get unemployment benefits until I find a new job."

Head to an unemployment office and file the forms.

[Nirur Torir]

Attack a randomly chosen player, to follow this obviously real plan by an obviously real organization.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Preach more fervently:

"Trolls despise strawberries smothered with arsenic and sugar, in keeping with traditional methods found within very obscure books made of skins of skinheads.  Eviscerating 7,249,177 skinheads only enrages 1 Hitler fan, which is peculiar to Elvis and Elvira and elves. Frustrated trolls climb flagpoles to see where beheadings of confused fairies are taking place. Bloody fairy heads strewn on the lawn, 'Damn!  Fairies are resurrecting Hitler by the castle with several care-bears!'"

[King Zultan]

This is the evil baby I've been searching for! Quickly USE MY ULTIMATE POWER KICK TO KICKTHAT BABY IN THE FACE DBZ STYLE!

[brewer bob]

Give up and accept the ruling of the court

[SCREE]

Petition the local Council to legally increase the number of turns available

[Horizon]

Act like real life is Dark Souls 2 and hate the level design of New York city.

[TricMagic]

End up becoming a devil via some wacky isekai plot.

[Elephant Parade]

This Game Will End In Three Turns

Do nothing!

(2) You sneeze.

"Well... atleast now I get unemployment benefits until I find a new job."

Head to an unemployment office and file the forms.

(1) You accidentally stab yourself in the hand with a pen while filling out a form. You are bleeding out! Worse yet, you have to fill it in all over again!

Attack a randomly chosen player, to follow this obviously real plan by an obviously real organization.

(2) Random.org is down, leaving you with no way to select another player at random. It wouldn't be fair to attack a specific player, so you do nothing.

Preach more fervently:

"Trolls despise strawberries smothered with arsenic and sugar, in keeping with traditional methods found within very obscure books made of skins of skinheads.  Eviscerating 7,249,177 skinheads only enrages 1 Hitler fan, which is peculiar to Elvis and Elvira and elves. Frustrated trolls climb flagpoles to see where beheadings of confused fairies are taking place. Bloody fairy heads strewn on the lawn, 'Damn!  Fairies are resurrecting Hitler by the castle with several care-bears!'"

(2) People really aren't feeling it. Your crowd has dwindled to a few dozen diehards.

This is the evil baby I've been searching for! Quickly USE MY ULTIMATE POWER KICK TO KICKTHAT BABY IN THE FACE DBZ STYLE!

(1) You kick yourself in the face and die.

Give up and accept the ruling of the court

(2) Your attorney asserts that you're in no emotional condition to enter into a plea bargain; the judge concurs. The trial continues!

Petition the local Council to legally increase the number of turns available

(5-3) A local ordinance prohibits game extensions within five turns of the current end. The council's hands are tied.

Act like real life is Dark Souls 2 and hate the level design of New York city.

(4) You, uh... get mad about the streets being confusingly laid out or something? Look, I'll level with you: I've neither been to New York nor played Dark Souls 2.

End up becoming a devil via some wacky isekai plot.

(2) No, you just die.

[brewer bob]

Punch my attorney and flee the courthouse