Turn 3: Serious Business
Knightwing64 seethes with a burning hatred for TamerVirus deep in their belly. “
You really just attacked me? ME? Ohh, boy, you are going to regret that. Have fun dying a slow and painful death, you little shit.” As the last flecks of vitriol fly out of their mouth with their spit, Knightwing64 then immediately turns on a dime and starts hobbling away to find a clinic of some sort. They intuit that while there probably won't be sufficient medical treatment for their woes here in Ellerton-on-Swale, there almost certainly one in nearby Catterick. So a-limping to Catterick they go, the trail of blood behind them quickly washing away in the rain.
"The law might have saved you this time, but I'll be back! I'll be back!" TamerVirus shakes their fist in righteous indignation against the law as they retreat from the metaphorical light of justice. The heels of their shoes clicking on the cobblestones, they scan their surroundings for some sort of local publisher. [1] But despite fervent searching through the five streets of this town, no such place is to be found. If there is a newspaper or poetry journal to be located, it probably isn't in Ellerton-on-Swale.
Slamming the door to the general store open, King Zultan immediately ducks into the next-door alley and starts dumpster diving. [9] As it turns out, this general store's garbage is a veritable cornucopia of useful items, enough to make any seasoned hobo blush! The kiwi fishes several wooden boards, a length of rope, some assorted scrap metal, and a large quantity of cardboard from the newfound treasure trove and gets to work cobbling it into a set of protective gear. [6] While literal garbage might not, in fact, make for the best protective materials, King Zultan manages to make do. Wooden boards connected by bits of rope form a vest and leggings of sorts, with discarded soup cans covering the joints and cardboard padding serving to make it (slightly) less uncomfortable. [+Asset: Garbage Armor]
MaxTheFox flies into a frenzy of typing and recording, editing and production. [3+2(Broadcasting)] Almost immediately, however, a few issues with this amateur setup make themselves apparent. Long used to high-budget productions, the sudden downgrade to consumer-grade software and equipment slows down and confounds the broadcast. The resultant campaign is, ultimately, only slightly above average. While it will bring in a decent amount of cash due to their mystical fundraising powers, it won't be anything mind-boggling. [Money will arrive in 3-5 turns]
As TamerVirus runs through the streets of Ellerton-on-Swale, Fluffe9911 lurks from up above on the rooftops. Stalking, lurking, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. The moment comes when their prey passes through another alleyway as the bat drops from above, aiming land on the criminal to knock them to the ground! [4 vs 3] At the last second, though, Fluffe9911 slips on the gutter and crashes to the ground! Fortunately enough for the Finn, TamerVirus is also astonishingly unaware and fails to dodge out of the way and breaks the fall. The two wiki-warriors flail ineffectually at each other on the ground, unable to inflict any significant damage upon one another.
Unflapped by the massive biker towering over him, Devastator immediately lays down a funky hip-hop beat/lecture on the proprietor's poor management of their property. [9+2(Hip Hop)+2(Land Management)] One phat rhyme to make them listen, another to bring down their guard. One sick lyric to open them up to suggestions, another to authoritatively predominate sustainable scenarios and dynamically underwhelm client-based paradigms. It isn't long before the biker's will is ground to dust under the weight of Devastator's unrelenting rhythms, practically begging them to improve their business.
Once again, a1s stands perfectly still in the town square, slowly getting drenched in the rain.
A low fog quickly descends upon Bolton-on-Swale lake and just as quickly dissipates, revealing a figure on an unusually-shaped sailing vessel. They bear the heavily-padded uniform of a hockey player with two weapons strapped to their back; a wooden hockey stick and a foam sword that seems to bear a strangely sharp edge. In but a few moments, they ride the winds to the lake shore and saunter towards the sounds of combat within town.
Strongpoint diagnoses you with a severe lack of imagination!Temperature: 16 °C
Weather: Showers
Illegal Action: Attacking knightwing64 unprovoked with intent to harm.
Name: Knightwing64
Nationality: German-Bohemian
Josef Winterhalder the Younger: +2 Painting, +1 Sculpting
Islamia College University: +2 Education, +Asset: Bachelor's Degree
Duke of Halland: +Asset: Duchy of Halland
Court of General Sessions: +1 Law, +Ability: Lawbringer
Guerra del Golfo (January 2009): +2 Wrestling, +Asset: Luchador Mask
Status: Badly Broken Nose [Bleeding, Difficulty Breathing: -1 Physical], Concussion [Can't See Straight: -2 Universal]
Points: 0
Assets: Modern Clothes, £50, Bachelor's Degree, Duchy of Halland, Luchador Mask
Abilities:
Lawbringer: You can declare any one specific action to be illegal, beginning next turn. As long as that action has been declared illegal, all players (including you) take a -5 penalty to all rolls to do that action. You can only declare one illegal action at a time.
Name: Devastator
Nationality: American
Philippine House Special Committee on Land Use: +2 Land Management, +Asset: Philippine House Special Committee on Land Use Chairmanship
Rapid Trauma Assessment: +Asset: Paramedic Clothes, +Ability: Trauma Assessment
List of Schedule 2 Substances (CWC): +Asset: Nerve Agent, +Asset: Poison Gas Canister
G Koop: +2 Hip-Hop, +1 Music Production
OM Digital Solutions: +2 Optics, +1 Business
Status: Normal
Points: 0
Assets: Paramedic Clothes, £50, Nerve Agent, Philippine House Special Committee on Land Use Chairmanship, Poison Gas Canister
Abilities:
Trauma Assessment: You automatically succeed on rolls to identify injuries and to stabilize wounds.
Name: TamerVirus
Nationality: Japanese
Handley Page Type L: +Asset: Handley Page Type-L Biplane
Seiji Tsutsumi: +2 Poetry, +1 Economics
Heinrich Cotta: +2 Forestry, +1 Paleontology
Erich Pommer: +2 Filmmaking, +Asset: Golden Globe
English Draughts: +2 Game Theory, +Asset: Checkerboard
Status: Winded [Catching Breath: -1 Physical (1 round)]
Points: 0
Assets: Bloodstained Modern Clothes, £50, Checkerboard, Golden Globe, Handley Page Type-L Biplane
Abilities: None
Name: MaxTheFox
Nationality: British
Mobile Donating: +Ability: On-The-Go Fundraising
Edinburgh Academical Football Club: +2 Rugby, +Asset: Edinburgh Accies Uniform, +Asset: Rugby Ball
Three Bells of Fira: +Asset: Bell of Fira
Michael J. Alexander: +2 Translation, +1 Broadcasting
The Catholic Channel: +2 Catholicism, +1 Broadcasting
Status: Normal
Points: 0
Assets: Edinburgh Accies Uniform, Bell of Fira, Rugby Ball
Abilities:
On-The-Go Fundraising: People are more than willing to send you money using their phones. It might take some time before it actually reaches your bank account, however.
Name: King Zultan
Nationality: New Zealander
Your Shape: +2 Aerobics, +Asset: Your Shape (Wii)
Paul MacDonald: +2 Canoeing, +Asset: Racing Canoe
Noop: +2 Programming, +1 Typing
Japanese Cruiser Kinu: +Asset: Kinu, +Asset: Imperial Japanese Navy Uniform
Arsendescloizite: +Asset: Hunk of Arsendescloizite
Status: Normal
Points: 0
Assets: Imperial Japanese Navy Uniform, £34, "Arsendescloizite" Shovel, Garbage Armor [Unwieldy: -1 Physical], Kinu (14cm/50 Naval Gun (1/1) [LR], Torpedo Launcher (1/1) [LR]) Racing Canoe, Roll of Duct Tape, Your Shape (Wii)
Abilities: None
Name: Strongpoint
Nationality: Australian
John Forbes (Sailor): +2 Sailing, +Asset: Gold Metal, +Asset: Catamaran
Milan Krkusich: +2 Abstract Painting, +1 Architecture
Granules India Limited: +2 Pharmacology, +Asset: Bottle of Guaifenesin, +Asset: Bottle of Ibuprofen
Amarillo Wranglers: +2 Hockey, +Asset: Hockey Stick, +Asset: Amarillo Wranglers Uniform
Amtgard: +Ability: LARP Master, +Asset: Foam Sword
Status: Normal
Points: 0
Assets: Amarillo Wranglers Uniform, £50, Bottle of Guaifenesin, Bottle of Ibuprofen, Catamaran, Foam Sword, Gold Metal, Hockey Stick
Abilities:
LARP Master: In your hands, normally innocuous gain a lethal quality. All toy weapons behave as if they were real while you wield them.
Author
Topic: Wikipedia Wars: Revengance [Turn 6: That's So Metal] <Waitlist Open> (Read 6141 times)