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Author Topic: dumb hypotheticals thread  (Read 4732 times)

hops

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dumb hypotheticals thread
« on: December 03, 2021, 10:11:14 pm »

this thread is for asking stupid hypothetical questions.

what would you do if coca-cola offered to transport you back in time to seed the myth of santa claus?
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EuchreJack

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2021, 11:09:05 pm »

I'd totally do that.

What would you do if Pepsi-Cola offered to transport you back in time to 1975 to seed Pepsi logos into the early internet?

Frumple

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2021, 11:55:55 pm »

this thread is for asking stupid hypothetical questions.

what would you do if coca-cola offered to transport you back in time to seed the myth of santa claus?
Ask for stock options, mostly (then eventually leverage them into lobbying to make holiday crap months prior to the holiday literally illegal... as well as stopping coca-cola from ever acquiring time travel technology holy hell).

... also make sure to take a lot of actually decent christmas music back with me to try to cut off the current state of things before it starts.
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wierd

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2021, 12:48:14 am »

I'd totally do that.

What would you do if Pepsi-Cola offered to transport you back in time to 1975 to seed Pepsi logos into the early internet?

I would remind them that such brazenly aggressive of an advert campaign would backfire spectacularly if attempted in that era. The early internet's population demographic was mostly extreme tech nerds and academics; not 15 year olds and soccer moms, like now.  The consensus was that allowing commercial content on the internet would result in a dysyopic landscape of shameless shilling and rent seeking. Attempting such an early cashgrab would likely result in a future where pepsico had LESS marketing power, not more, due to an almost certain backlash by the internet community at large, and perhaps aggressive legislation being passed before a strong lobby could be created and operated.

I would suggest a low-key approach, favoring subtle brand awareness coupled with 'wants', as a more viable alternative. (EG, some form of academic tie-in, with a competition of academic nature, with a tuition based payout, and very subtle brand awareness. Usenet and pals would take care of the advertising for free, and be more effective.)

But then I would remember that I have a soul, and would instead bring evidence of the advert and rentseeking dystopia the internet will become, and just seed usenet with that, along with just enough period appropriate geopolitical historic 'dirt' to make policy makers stand up and take notice.
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King Zultan

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2021, 02:49:35 am »

What would you do for a Klondike bar?
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wierd

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2021, 02:50:53 am »

The same thing I always do; drive 30 minutes to town, then buy them from the store.

(I very rarely buy them)
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Scoops Novel

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #6 on: December 05, 2021, 06:13:01 am »

Ammit (Egyptian crocodile who eats hearts) vs Cerberus.
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martinuzz

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2021, 06:15:17 am »

Cerberus wins

FATALITY
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EuchreJack

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2021, 09:42:28 am »

Crocodile parts everywhere!
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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2021, 02:45:44 pm »

I'd totally do that.

What would you do if Pepsi-Cola offered to transport you back in time to 1975 to seed Pepsi logos into the early internet?
We are trapped in the belly of a time-loop travelling multilevel marketing scheme beast and the beast is not permitted to die

martinuzz

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2021, 03:19:23 pm »

I just realized how completely horrible the realisation of time travel has to been for language teachers compared to how it was in the future.
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Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

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King Zultan

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #11 on: December 06, 2021, 02:01:33 am »

Time travel was a mistake.
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Frumple

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #12 on: December 06, 2021, 08:18:14 am »

It's only a mistake once you're one (or both!) side(s) of your family tree. When you've reached the point of temporally recursive selfcestous inbreeding, you've done done a mistake.
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Scoops Novel

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #13 on: December 06, 2021, 05:44:42 pm »

Ash Williams vs Walter White and Jesse Pinkman. The bad guys have the jump on him.
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Frumple

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Re: dumb hypotheticals thread
« Reply #14 on: December 06, 2021, 05:59:28 pm »

The only question there is which one's face gets the chainsaw and which one gets the shotgun. It's a hard question, though. Pinkman getting the chainsaw and white getting to the shotgun due to color coding (rip and tear is pink, gunsmoke is white-ish) makes sense, but there's a certain je ne sais quoi to defying expectations and inverting that.

There's also the third way that acknowledges that shotguns can have two barrels and chainsaws are omnisawxual, so the pair both get some attention from each hand. There's permutations here, y'know?

... and the forbidden route, of course. What does happen in this scenario if pinky and the brain have groinsaws? May the world never know.
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