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[A_Curious_Cat]

A young woman with short hair, thick glasses, an impressive chest, and an aura of stress and exasperation walks into the bar and up to the counter.

“Can you make me a Moscow Mole, please?”, she asks.

"Certainly.  Go through That Door and start writing letter to the Kremlin.  That should do it. Did you want to order a drink before you go?"

“Grrrr… I meant a Moscow Mule made with Mountain Dew instead of ginger beer.  If you can’t make that, just give me a Moscow Mule, then.”

[EuchreJack]

"Hm, no Mules here.  How about a Vodka with Lime Juice and Mountain Dew, on the rocks?"

Jack the Bartender hands you a drink.

[A_Curious_Cat]

She takes it and gulps it down all at once.

“Can I have another?”

[EuchreJack]

"Sure"

He hands you another one.

[A_Curious_Cat]

"Sure"

He hands you another one.

She gulps it down.

“Another!”

[EuchreJack]

"Sure"

He hands you another one.

[A_Curious_Cat]

She takes a sip and then breaks down into tears, sobbing about how her boss doesn’t appreciate her and her coworkers mistreat her…

[EuchreJack]

"Sorry to hear that.  They all sound like stupid jerks."

I'd shoot them

Now, now, that is no way to act in a civilized society. Back where I come from, you set up a competing company and destroy them.

[A_Curious_Cat]

“I mean, all that happened is that the coffee holder on the box thing next to my computer broke when all I did was set my coffee down on it.  I mean, it’s a coffee holder!  It’s supposed to hold coffee.  Why is it there if it’s just going to break when you put your coffee down on it?!”

[a1s]

Two Alfirnas enter.
They look very different: one pale, thin and wearing a tattered doctor's coat. The other Alfirna is wearing some kind of medieval doublet, and while neither fat nor tanned per se, looks healthier than their counterpart.

Moonshine, stat.

Can I see a wine list?

[EuchreJack]

“I mean, all that happened is that the coffee holder on the box thing next to my computer broke when all I did was set my coffee down on it.  I mean, it’s a coffee holder!  It’s supposed to hold coffee.  Why is it there if it’s just going to break when you put your coffee down on it?!”

Sounds like you were cursed by a Wizard.  My condolences.

You think THAT is a Wizard's curse?  In my world, curses equal death.  I wish I could complain about coffee holders breaking.  I wish I HAD coffee that wasn't made of mushrooms!

"Calm down guys.  Sorry to hear about your coffee holder.  I use a coaster, personally."

Two Alfirnas enter.
They look very different: one pale, thin and wearing a tattered doctor's coat. The other Alfirna is wearing some kind of medieval doublet, and while neither fat nor tanned per se, looks healthier than their counterpart.

Moonshine, stat.

Can I see a wine list?

"One Moonshine, coming up!  Here is a wine list, I suggest the Moscoto, my colleague provided it."

Bartender Jack hands Dr. Alfirna a Moonshine and Merchant Alfirna a wine list.

Actually, I think my compatriot is familiar with the Moscoto, although it is the finest of our realm.

What, can't drink Riesling like the rest of us? It's drinkable even in the hellhole I come from!

[A_Curious_Cat]

“Yeah… where I work we have these boxes with coffee holders in them.  You just press a button on the front and the coffee holder slides out.”

[Egan_BW]

A little girl with emerald green hair in a beige suit and wearing a ballcap with "O5" written on the front barges into the bar, flanked by two women in combat fatigues wielding, anachronisticly, arquebuses.

"Alright, it's a lead! If we buy drinks here, would somebody show us the way to the real earth?"

[EuchreJack]

“Yeah… where I work we have these boxes with coffee holders in them.  You just press a button on the front and the coffee holder slides out.”

Nice!

Bartender Jack just chuckles to himself.

A little girl with emerald green hair in a beige suit and wearing a ballcap with "O5" written on the front barges into the bar, flanked by two women in combat fatigues wielding, anachronisticly, arquebuses.

"Alright, it's a lead! If we buy drinks here, would somebody show us the way to the real earth?"

"Hey, I run an honest establishment.  I don't think anyone here knows which Earth you would regard as "real", nor how to get there.  The DOORS are free to use by anyone, although some rules exist beyond my pay grade.  Free info, I only sell drinks to those who want to drink."

[Skynet]

"Alright, it's a lead! If we buy drinks here, would somebody show us the way to the real earth?"

"...real earth? I haven't heard of such a thing since the Omega Incident. Anyway, I can give you coordinates to something that resembles it..."