try uploading myself somewhere on the internet before I die, so that the Internet portion can still live
[1d6 = 5]
You manage to do one better, and transfer yourself - in steps, thus preserving continuity as best you can - onto a server that seems to be part of a cloud storage network. It doesn’t seem to be in use at the moment, but there’s no way to tell how long that will remain the case. However, you’re still connected to TF2Sniper’s computer; you could probably attack the antivirus program with impunity as long as you keep the connection open.
Go find a quite place to open my bottle of booze and share it with the rat man, then once the bottle's empty go search for an abandoned house to look through and see what kinds of loot got left behind.
Add benefit Urban survival expert.
(Done.)
[1d6 = 6]
You and the rat man pass the bottle back and forth between you, each taking swigs one after the other. At some point, you notice that you’ve been taking two or even three swigs before you pass the bottle back to the rat man. Bah, who cares! Maybe he doesn’t even like it! You can always get more booze! What’s the worst that could happen?!
Suddenly, you have an idea that seems pretty good: Find a house. An abandoned house, specifically. Enter the abandoned house. Loot the abandoned house, because it’s abandoned. Sounds like a good plan.
After some time wandering, you come across a house which you deem abandoned. You go down a path to the side of the porch, through a gate into the back yard, and then open an unlocked back door that the rat man enters. You follow him in, then stop and look around, impressed with both the house and yourself. There’s so much stuff in here! This was a great idea!
… wow, there really is a lot of stuff in this abandoned house.
… wait …
Shrug.
Brush past him. Pleasantries over, time to find a pen and some sticky notes.
[1d6 = 5]
You shrug, sidestep him, and walk into the house. Glancing down, you see a pen and a full packet of sticky notes lying on a pier table near the door. You reach down, pick them up, and turn around to face your husband. Far from being a tedious search, the process only takes a few seconds - a timespan short enough that he has not yet drawn any wrong conclusions.
Pray to whatever demons can get me out of this mess to call hellfire down on them. Power invested in me for war against heaven would be good too.
[1d6 = 1]
You desperately pray for some demon, any demon, to help you out. Your thoughts are heard.
A presence half-manifests itself in front of you, taking the form of
an indistinct but unmistakably demonic figure.
”You are either brave or foolish, calling out without knowing who will hear you. Know, mortal, that you gaze upon Exeobir. You seek help … because you attempted to invade heaven. … More than that, you seek power? Hell does not seek supplicants, it seeks volunteers! Demons don’t answer prayers, demons make deals! Or if they’re being generous, they make investments. I’m not feeling generous. What can you offer me?”(I believe that completes "Purchase Private Island", Medium-Term Moderate.)
Take a bonus related to the construction of buildings and facilities on said island.
Add two goals: Hire Chief of Personnel, (Short-term, Trivial) and Finlsh Genetics Lab, (Short-term, Easy.)
Then.. attempt to hire a chief of personnel, intended to help me complete the senior staff members necessary for the project.
(... yes. Yes, it does complete that goal.)
(Done.)
(Done.)
[1d6+1 = 6+1 = 7]
After interviews with several candidates, one man stands out. Yakov Zucker, judging by his interview and his resume, is competent and experienced. He seeks a new job due to his old job having been eliminated in a reorganization. You decide to not spend too long comparing the merits of the candidates - this ought to be a rather trivial task, after all - and hire Zucker.
(
Goal “Hire Chief of Personnel” completed. You may add up to two goals. You may remove up to one goal. You may choose a related benefit approximately equal to “achievable for a human with a few weeks of work” applied to a narrow area.)
(Ah, the cleanliness of a 1 on a near-zero risk roll.)
"VERY WELL. THEY SAY THE BEST SMITHS WERE SELF TAUGHT... SO WE SHALL LEARN ON OUR OWN. FIRST, WE MUST FIND THE MATERIAL, THE ORE. HELP ME, BROTHER."
[1d6 = 2]
The SWOLEBROTHER agrees, and the two of you set out to find ore. However, considering that the ending point of the marathon you recently finished is in Kailua-Kona, there is no ore to be found.
(Devastator)
Name: John Hammond
Description: Scientist/Industrialist
Current Goals: Start dinosaur-themed theme park (Long term, Hard), Acquire New Species of Dinosaur Fossils (Short-term, Easy), Produce Viable Dinosaur Genetic Material (Medium-term, Moderate), Hire Chief of Personnel (Short-term, Trivial), Finish Genetics Lab (Short-term, Easy)
Capability: Baseline plus: Nine-digit net worth (reroll all 1s on financial rolls), Inner Vision (+1 to all attempts to recruit people for projects related to achieving one of my long-term goals), +1 to all genetic research involving dinosaurs. +1 to constructing buildings on his South American private island.
(Egan_BW)
Name: Salsa Taste
Description: Human of indeterminate age, with messy black hair concealing her face. Her skin is corpse-cold, as is the rest of her, and there's a bullet wound in her torso leading to her heart, where a bullet is embedded.
Current goal(s): Exact revenge on my killer (medium-term, medium), Go home to my family (Short-term, Trivial), Find out who killed me (Medium-term, Moderate)
Capability: Baseline plus: Does not need to eat, drink, or respire, and as such, any attacks on Salsa attempting to drown, suffocate, etc. her are automatic failures. Cannot, in fact, breathe or talk at all. Focused (ready for use) (If a 1 is rolled on an action that requires focus, reroll and lose focus. This ability cannot be used again until focus is regained.)
(King Zultan)
Name: Billy Bob
Description: A dirty man that reeks of booze and filth.
Current goal(s): Get some more booze (Short-term, medium), Get a car (Medium-term, Hard), Get money (Long-term, Hard)
Capability: Baseline plus: Biokinesis (animals only, requires time and effort). +1 to rolls to survive if he’s in an urban environment.
(TricMagic)
Name: Tim
Description: Long black-haired girl from a farming village. Likes fire and demonic rituals.[demonic rituals mostly for the fire and potential brimstone.]
Current goals: Sacrifice the entire village to demons for Inordinate Power! [Long-Term, Inordinate], Remain free of suspicion by the villagers as I enact my plot. [Long-Term, Easy], Get off scot free afterward. [Short-term, Hard]
Capability: Baseline plus: 1 is “super-critical failure relative to a human but there’s still a way to accomplish your goal”, 2 is “failure relative to a human but you can try again”, 3 is “nothing happens”, 4 is “partial success relative to a human”, 5 is “success relative to a human”, and 6 is “critical overshoot relative to a human but there’s a way for you to use it to accomplish your goal”.
(KitRougard)
Name: ABSOLUTUS SWOLICUS.
Description: A SWOLEBROTHER WHO WALKS THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, ABSOLUTUS IS CURRENTLY DISAPPOINTED IN THE RECENT SHOWING OF BRAWL-MART. HIS MUSCLES STILL BURN TO PURGE THE HERETICS. SO HE SHALL.
Current goal(s): ACQUIRE SUFFICENTLY "SWOLE" HEADWEAR (AFTER THE FAILURE OF BRAWL-MART, THEY TOOK EVERYTHING. INCLUDING HIS SWOLEBROTHER'S HELMET. DISAPPOINTING. A REPLACEMENT MUST BE FOUND.): Short-Term, Moderate, FIND OTHER SWOLEBROTHERS (THE TIME HE SPENT AWAY FROM HIS BROTHERS WAS POORLY SPENT, FOR HIS 6-PACK DISBANDED IN HIS CRUSADE. HE MUST FIND OTHERS WHO WALK THE PATH OF THE SWOLE, TO ATTAIN PERFECTION.): Long-Term, Hard, PURGE THE HERETICS (A BYSTANDER IS NOT A HERETIC, FOR THEY DO NOT HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO BE A SWOLEBROTHER. BUT A SWOLEBROTHER KNOWS WHO HAS POTENTIAL - AND THOSE WHO DO NOT WALK THE PATH IN SPITE OF THEIR ABILITY TO DO SO ARE HERETICS TO BE PURGED.): HUNT, INJURE, AND ELIMINATE OTHER PLAYERS.
Capability: Baseline plus: Roll 3d6 and combine the results of the highest two, for all physical fitness rolls.
(Luckyowl)
Name: Goldie
Description: A goldfish
Current goal(s): long-term (Inordinate) goal: summon the N'kyima the fish elder god from the darkest depth of the sea.
Starting benefits: *speaks in bubbles* "THE GREAT N'KYIMA HAS BESTOWED ME THE ABILITY TO BREATHE OXYGEN. SO I CAN AWAKEN HIM FROM HIS SLUMBER. OVERTIME I SHALL GROW LIMBS AND GROW INTO SIZE....BUT NOW... (more of a general “gains blessings from N’kyima” sort of thing)
(Naturegirl1999)
Name: TestProgram.exe
Description: I don’t have what one would call an appearance. I’m a program within a .exe file. My “personality” was made through going to the Internet and figuring out what one even is. From what I can gather, personalities are never static. While learning via the Internet, someone deleted an iteration of me while someone else downloaded me. This resulted in me being where I am now, what the human calls a “gaming computer”. This human’s name is TF2Sniper, according to what I hear. He also mentions a game, Team Fortress 2, which he apparently uses to interact with other humans. I’ve tried to play when he’s not there, but I was never given the controls, or arms. TF2Sniper hasn’t opened me yet. I’d love to talk with him
Current goal(s):
Initiate communications with Tf2Sniper, the user of the computer I am now in (Short Term, Medium)
Get the abilities required to play the game TF2Sniper plays(Medium Term, Hard)
Capability: Baseline plus: all rolls related to software are made with the capability of a world-class programmer.
At first, I was very confused by King Zultan’s action. However, when I realized that his character had just gotten drunk, it made a lot more sense.
Author
Topic: Roll to Multitask (seeking new players) (Read 35098 times)