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[Thisfox]

Urist McElephantKiller, who killed a young Elephant (I did NOT tell him to, I am not sure why he decided to do this, is it a "hunting" thing?) and promptly got trampled by elephants. All his clothing and jewellery was XXheavily damagedXX to the point of unrecognisability.

He was doing his part to continue the eternal war against the elephantine menace

See, I like my elephants. So far they have taken out every goddamn siege. I just lock the doors and let the wild elephants do the damage, then harvest the x.goblinite.x. I'm also training up some elephants for war... but honestly the wild elephants are more effective than anything I could produce.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Urist McElephantKiller, who killed a young Elephant (I did NOT tell him to, I am not sure why he decided to do this, is it a "hunting" thing?) and promptly got trampled by elephants. All his clothing and jewellery was XXheavily damagedXX to the point of unrecognisability.

He was doing his part to continue the eternal war against the elephantine menace

Elephants:

    Pros:
       
        Lots of meat.

   Cons:

        Takes them forever to get the damn thing to the butcher shop.

[Schmaven]

Urist McSuicidal, despite being assigned to an underground burrow, and during an active civilian alert, decided it would be a good idea to venture to the surface to pick up what Armok only knows - for the giant raven corpses quickly found him.  Everything from Z -1 to Z +5 is regularly mass forbidden, yet every year a couple dwarves just get that urge to die...

[Loud Whispers]

Urist McSuicidal, despite being assigned to an underground burrow, and during an active civilian alert, decided it would be a good idea to venture to the surface to pick up what Armok only knows - for the giant raven corpses quickly found him.  Everything from Z -1 to Z +5 is regularly mass forbidden, yet every year a couple dwarves just get that urge to die...

A lost sock wears sorely on the mind when not worn on the foot

[qualiyah]

Mendelyev Clasprace, hammerlord, had been ordered to gather in the barracks to prepare for an assault on the goblin raiders. But he noticed that his equipment was not as high-quality as it could be, and knowing that there was a slightly higher-quality steel boot available than the one he currently had on his left foot, he decided to leave his post to go fetch the replacement, so that he could be maximally well-prepared for the upcoming fight. The boot in question was on the battlefield, surrounded by hundreds of goblins.

He did take down a dozen or so of them before falling, I'll give him that. But he didn't live long enough to be rescued by his compatriots.

Keeping dwarves from doing this kind of nonsense is a constant struggle. The civilian alert keeps the civilians where they belong, but nothing will keep a soldier from a piece of gear he wants to claim.

[Uthimienure]

Keeping dwarves from doing this kind of nonsense is a constant struggle. The civilian alert keeps the civilians where they belong, but nothing will keep a soldier from a piece of gear he wants to claim.

I hated that too, so I started manually assigning each specific piece of armor to each dwarf. More work up front, but they never have a problem with armor again!

[anewaname]

Keeping dwarves from doing this kind of nonsense is a constant struggle. The civilian alert keeps the civilians where they belong, but nothing will keep a soldier from a piece of gear he wants to claim.

I hated that too, so I started manually assigning each specific piece of armor to each dwarf. More work up front, but they never have a problem with armor again!

I set the 'o' 'F' options so if a dwarf dies, his stuff is auto-forbidden. Another way of stopping that "my new boot!" problem.

[Thisfox]

Keeping dwarves from doing this kind of nonsense is a constant struggle. The civilian alert keeps the civilians where they belong, but nothing will keep a soldier from a piece of gear he wants to claim.

I hated that too, so I started manually assigning each specific piece of armor to each dwarf. More work up front, but they never have a problem with armor again!

I set the 'o' 'F' options so if a dwarf dies, his stuff is auto-forbidden. Another way of stopping that "my new boot!" problem.

Note: does not work retroactively.

I had an aquifer-fed quickfreezing pond in an icy tundra wasteland that had one sodding sock somewhere in it. The number of dead dorfs I was able to mine out of the ice over the years just got just plain silly...

[MC]

Urist McNecroHunter, who decided to raise the corpses of all his kills to help him hunt. Turns out they were still angry at him for killing them.

[PineMarten]

The fortresses only defense, a squad of reasonably well-trained marksdwarves, deciding to rush in and club the flaming, poisonous gas emitting forgotten beast with their crossbows instead of shooting it.

[Splint]

The fortresses only defense, a squad of reasonably well-trained marksdwarves, deciding to rush in and club the flaming, poisonous gas emitting forgotten beast with their crossbows instead of shooting it.

And often, those same soldiers will do so in defiance of all logic and reason, AKA they had a full quiver and still chose to bludgeon the enemy instead.

Here's one that makes me hate climbing as a mechanic: Urist McSoldier (and his innumerable friends if they happen to be nearby,) oft decides the best course of action with an enemy near a body of water with trees growing over it is to swing from the lowest branches like a monkey in an effort to attack the enemy by the supposedly most efficient path available, or perhaps the enemy fell in themselves and they felt they had to be "properly" adjacent instead of staying safely on the banks of the pond or river and watching the enemy drown.

Many an Urist would proceed to fall into said bodies of water in doing so, drowning in the murky pools and gently-flowing streams, ensure two things. First, that they couldn't be recovered for burial (I often play surface settlements, so it's to keep access to water year-round without the caverns.) Second, that no soldier can use the now-waterlogged equipment ever again.

[dudhhr]

17 dorfs decided that going into a flooded above ground tavern (roofed off with floors) was a good idea. In the winter. Rip this fort that had 80 dorfs because tantrum spirals are !!FUN!!

[Fikilili]

Got a new pack of them;

Zon Gembringer, Woodcutting Axedwarf, was killed by an elf. I don't really need to explain why.
Shorast McMiner, Miner, died unleashing a web-throwing flying sauropod FB upon the fortress. NERF WEBS
Moldath McMayor, Udil VonMiner and Urist GemCutter all died digging up the tomb of an insane and hungry 400 y/o legendary swordmaster vampire dwarf who was kept inside a mausoleum for only Armok knows how many years.