On a piece of land there is a tree.
The tree is tall, broad, and has twisted branches.
It impressive height had it cast, a long shadow.
And into this shadow, grateful to be out of the light, strode a dwarf.
This dwarf's name was Urist, and he had an axe.
Now Urist, as you might not expect, did not chop down the tree.
Since, when he touched it, a small wooden bird broke free.
The wooden bird stretched its wings, then flew toward the nearby elves.
They moved away so the bird didn't hit themsilves.
But the bird was evil and it wanted to hit the elves.
And Urist wondered "Is it evil to want to hit the elves?"
No, said the dwarf when he realize that it wasn't evil to hate elves, but was in fact the natural response to being near an elf.
So Urist stretched out on the ground, ate some cheese, then closed his eyes and contemplated Murder.
And it was a beautiful murder it was.
There was blood lining the ceiling, floor and walls.
Then with a start, Urist awoke; and the groggy dwarf realized it was merely a dream.
Upon waking up, he realized he is in a dark stone room.
Fortunately, he has very good eyesight in the dark, and can see two doors: one on the left and one on the right.
The doors begin to speak.
One says "Ja" and one says "Da".
Urist realizes that the doors are speaking, he feels this isn't normal but he's not sure what to do about it.
So he asks the doors, “Do either of you know where I am?”
And the doors reply (at the same time), "Ja" and "Da".
Urist asked “am I an elf?”
And the doors replied (at the same time), "Ja" and "Da"... with a snicker.
“Say something other than Ja and Da!” The dwarf yelled frustratedly.
And one door said "Ja", but the other door said "Da", and the doors began to argue with each other!
"Would you two just shut up, I'm sick of this Ja and Da crap!" Yelled Urist who was getting pretty tired of these door's crap.
And one door said to the other door, "My, my, does it need patience!", and the other door said, "Ja!"
"So you can say something other than ja and da, why didn't you just talk when I asked?" Said Urist who was still pretty irritated at the doors.