EYE OF EVIL
TIME TO GET THE BOYS BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. BEGIN SEARCH FOR HITLER, GENGHIS KHAN, NIXON, AND CEASAR.
2 - You enter Pride and see the boys getting a haircut. You shout a greeting at them and they get up and quickly surround you. They force you to sit down at a booth. You hear the buzzer turn on and look in the mirror. You see a hairy sasquatch with blood-shot eyes looking back at you. Caesar drapes you in a white toga and fastens it tight around your neck. Nixon shaves most of your face. Hitler trims around your mustache. Khan spritzes you with some musk. "Perfect!" the four of them shout in unison.
You leave Pride with a fresh haircut and begin walking to the exit, when you trip over CB causing you to fall from the balcony to your death.
CRAWL TO ELEVATOR LIKE PLANARIA
4 - DN fumbles over you as you slither and squirm forward. As you flop about and whip forward, the clerk at Lust gives you a wink. You slam your face in her direction with eyes pointing outward and drool drenching your shirt.
*
ding!*
The elevator arrives, and you roll in. As the door is closing the clerk steps in with a sly smile. When the elevator reaches the ground the chick from Lust waves goodbye as you inch to the glass doors, slamming your teeth on the nob. Ith ith locketh.
Escape to the food court.
1 - You glance at the sign to the Food Court as napalm melts you.
Be.
5 - You awake in Sloth, the furniture store. You are in a recliner. "Sir, are you ready to make a purchase? Sir? Sir?" You do nothing. Eventually they tell you you need to make a decision, or get up. You do nothing. "Sir, if you do not say something or get up now, you are going to have to buy it." You do nothing. "I am reaching towards your pocket for your credit card, I am swiping your credit card. Congratulations, it's yours!" You do nothing as two men carry you out of Sloth upon your new chair towards the exit. They stop. "Hmm, it's locked." "Just set him down."
Throw napalm at the other players! They are disrupting order!
4 - You smash down through the skylight as you land and your parachute drapes over you. You push it aside and consider just for a moment, that this doesn't look like a military installation. You have your orders. You see a man heading right for you with hungry eyes. You whip out your flamethrower and dispatch the terrorist. You don't see any of your platoon anywhere. You quickly grab a disguise from Rage and get to the exit. Locked. You look to your dufflebag. You know just what to do...
VEER AWAY FROM THESE LUNATICS, GO IN SEARCH OF SUNGLASSES TO ACCOMPANY SUIT
2 - You see a sweaty man trying to catch his breath. Another is bending, as if pretending to sit in a chair. And another is pointing his finger like a gun at the door and making menacing 'whoosh' sounds. You bail on these losers.
You walk into Envy and check out the sunglasses. There is one that is on a display rack. 'The Best Sunglasses In The World'. You ask to try them on. They are life changing. "I need them." "I am sorry sir, display copy only. We have last years model if you like..."
You leave Envy with the second best pair of sunglasses and begin walking to the exit.
*
ding!*
You don't notice the elevator doors open as you trip on something. You to hit your head at the bottom of the wishing fountain and drown.