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Author Topic: Smallhands - nearly 40 years and still tiny!  (Read 440485 times)

fatcat__25

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1470 on: March 24, 2022, 11:33:57 am »

Not me, 'cause I'm dead, and don't feel like doing my own redwarfing.
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Fort is running at 21 FPS, the ground is having a panic attack in places, and what looks like a conga line of zombified Hungry Heads has formed on (I think) Z-level 32 of the caverns.
I love dwarven status reports.

delphonso

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1471 on: March 25, 2022, 01:17:10 am »

So whose next?

I'm also unavailable. I'm barely managing my own daily commitments, let along hobbies or, (gasp!) relaxation time... Avolition didn't answer before, so the queue is open. Anybody interested in cracking Smallhands open (figuratively, preferably)?

xkcd1963

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1472 on: March 28, 2022, 08:51:45 am »

I could do some cleaning and redeem my weather mistakes. But I played recently and I'm not sure if that would do the queue just.
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MrWillsauce

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1473 on: April 01, 2022, 04:28:13 pm »

I think you should go for it
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delphonso

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1474 on: April 01, 2022, 06:52:43 pm »

Yeah, feel free to.

xkcd1963

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1475 on: April 01, 2022, 10:08:03 pm »

Okay, I've two weeks? I take it then
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recon1o6

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1476 on: April 12, 2022, 04:24:10 am »

looking forward to it!
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Urist McRecon cancels make exploding booze: Interrupted by bad idea
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AvolitionBrit

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1477 on: April 12, 2022, 06:54:54 am »

I see im still listed as current, still down for a turn.
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The return of the thin white duke, throwing darts in lovers eyes

Drunken scholar

Laterigrade

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1478 on: April 12, 2022, 07:33:10 am »

I see im still listed as current, still down for a turn.
Oh, dang, since xkcd1963 just started. You should probably take the turn after his, if you’re willing to wait. Unless xkcd is willing to cede this one to you, or something?
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and the quadriplegic toothless vampire killed me effortlessly after that
bool IsARealBoy = false
dropping clothes to pick up armor and then dropping armor to pick up clothes like some sort of cyclical forever-striptease
if a year passes, add one to age; social experiment

Laterigrade

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1479 on: April 12, 2022, 07:39:12 am »

On another note — has anyone added our ghoul !!science!!, at least as anecdote, to the wiki?
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and the quadriplegic toothless vampire killed me effortlessly after that
bool IsARealBoy = false
dropping clothes to pick up armor and then dropping armor to pick up clothes like some sort of cyclical forever-striptease
if a year passes, add one to age; social experiment

AvolitionBrit

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1480 on: April 12, 2022, 08:10:33 am »

I will wait
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The return of the thin white duke, throwing darts in lovers eyes

Drunken scholar

xkcd1963

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1481 on: April 15, 2022, 02:42:27 pm »


– A microcline stone –
I've awakened only to realise, that I'm a stone. what cruel decisions lead to this peculiar situation. Who, or what put me in this? It is unknown to me. And to add insult to injury, for some reason I retain dwarven intelligence. I know I'm a dwarf, or I was in my previous life. I think like one and I've the corresponding thirst for beverage. And recently I feel on a greedy streak.
There is no memories left of my previous life, if I had any. Maybe with time, this riddle will be solved. For now I name myself Lam, as it is the dwarven name for stone.
Soon after my awakening I realised how dull my situation was. With no extensions, mouth, eyes or anything really, there was no way to properly assert my surrounding. Saddened by that, feeling completely alone and contemplating this pointless existence, I quickly fell in a lethargic, dreamy state. Colours and shapes became my imaginary companies for my imaginary eyes. I had become unaware of the passing of time. Reasoning was no longer necessary. I visited places so alien to dwarven life, I couldn't explain them now. I saw beautiful rhythmically undulating purring maggots, freakish wriggling creepy crawlers and an extraordinary large weevil. Wherever I went I saw life and beauty.
As the unfolding of my existence was progressing step by step like the peeling of an onion, I saw it. An entity of such elegance and beauty, its power so protruding that the room became an observatory to the many stars that reside in the sky. It approached me. It looked into my deepest being. The inner workings of its holy body were generating what could only be a gift from Armok himself. After an explosion of intense but harmonic music I was encased in a comfortably warm shower of green jewels. This must be what the afterlife felt like.

Just as Callisto was returning from overindulging activities in the Tall Bar, not feeling quite right in her fevered state and having been exposed to sun, there was nothing that could have prevented her from vomiting all over the place. This fortress was a hell-hole, no doubt. But she had grown used to it. Back in the day when the only worry she had was dying of boredom in the small hillocks not afar, if she saw herself now in this pity state, not a single type of beverage in the whole realm could have lured her here. But this was her life now.
While she was barely keeping herself from falling asleep on the same spot, a strange shape portrayed itself in the vomit. A rather unremarkable microcline stone that has never caught the attention of the haulers. As it was unremarkable, so was it at the same time strangely familiar to Callisto. It reminded her of large gems. For no particular reason she decided to take it with her. The summoning had already begun and there was no time to place this stone in her room on the way there.

– Summoning –
"Dear fellow dwarfs .. *hicks* today is the second of Granite and it is time *hicks* .. again to select a new Overseer among you .. *hicks* I'm, as you might have guessed, not the best suited for this very important job .. right now *hicks"
"I'm sick of having extraordinary Overseers! Why can't we just have a dwarf managing this place once again. Like Salmeuk! I like this guy, he is such a good persuader, and elected duchy after all"
Salmeuk – "Oh no, I won't run Overseer. My time has not come yet once more"
"I'm sick of being spit in the face, if we elect the alpaca this year again, I'm going stark raving mad!"
"We should take a more joint approach and consider focusing our energy in the beehive industry .."
"AND BITE MY ARSE AGAIN?? COME HERE YOU SONS OF –"
A fist fight emerges among the dwarves as no consensus can be reached as to whom shall serve the position of Overseer this year. Just at that time, Callisto enters the noisy hall.
"Calisto! You're too late again. How are we supposed to make a communal decision if you won't partaken!"
Callisto – "There is no reason to participate, I mean look at you! All you ever do is brawling when it comes to important decisions. I mean for godsake, release the joint lock from Doogie, he is still a child! You can't behave like an unorganised mob in these dire times! There is too much at stake"
"So ... is it you then who wants to serve as Overseer?"
Callisto – "Me? I mean.. no"
"So why do you critique us. You either do something about it or better not shine a light on our demise.."
Callisto – "FINE. You know what?! I just have the right candidate for this position"
Callisto approaches the fine table in the middle of the hall and places a microcline stone on top of it.
Callisto – "This will be our new overseer as it is still better than having you scuffle all day"
A silence echoes through the assembly as many different reactions emerge. Some confused, other still angry at unreturned fisty favours but determined to find a solution to the current problem at hand. One by one a "AY" can be heard.
"So it is decided then. This years Overseer will be .. a microcline stone"
The assembly slowly dismisses as the normal fortress life and daily routines return.
"So ... what do we do now?"
"I don't know. I go clean my room"
« Last Edit: April 15, 2022, 02:49:36 pm by xkcd1963 »
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recon1o6

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1482 on: April 16, 2022, 04:36:37 am »

Thats a pretty dwarfy overseer, a thumbs up from me
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Urist McRecon cancels make exploding booze: Interrupted by bad idea
Urist McRecon cancels bad idea: missing raw files
Urist McRecon cancels add raw files: Interrupted by fortress mode
Urist McRecon cancels play fortress mode: Needs exploding booze
Urist McRecon cancels acquire exploding booze: No materials

Salmeuk

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1483 on: April 16, 2022, 03:28:40 pm »

Quote
As the unfolding of my existence was progressing step by step like the peeling of an onion, I saw it. An entity of such elegance and beauty, its power so protruding that the room became an observatory to the many stars that reside in the sky. It approached me. It looked into my deepest being. The inner workings of its holy body were generating what could only be a gift from Armok himself. After an explosion of intense but harmonic music I was encased in a comfortably warm shower of green jewels. This must be what the afterlife felt like.

oh my god this is all kinds of beautiful and disgusting. lovely punchline hjahaha

let the saga of the Rock begin!
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fatcat__25

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Re: Smallhands - this fort is now about Troghoulytes
« Reply #1484 on: April 16, 2022, 06:51:32 pm »

It has been a while, so I'm going to post a request for a new dwarf again. Also, I didn't think there were any more drastically different types of overseer we hadn't had yet, but I was wrong. Looking forward to the latest round of shenanigans.  :D
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Fort is running at 21 FPS, the ground is having a panic attack in places, and what looks like a conga line of zombified Hungry Heads has formed on (I think) Z-level 32 of the caverns.
I love dwarven status reports.
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