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[Kilojoule Proton]

"In addition, Despite 10 players sounding manageable, IF you get that number; unless you have VERY strict limits on what players can do you will quickly pull a KJP and realize you can't herd that many cats- I mean gods."

--The Book of Discord 20:22

The First Age: The Boring Emptiness

You are a Cantankerous Ancient Terror, a god and master of the universe! Unfortunately, the world is empty and bereft of shiny distractions. It is your job to do stuff to make it more interesting.

Actions

Due to their pressing need for beauty sleep, Cantankerous Ancient Terrors can take up to two actions every turn.

Example actions:

• Knock Thing Off Ledge: Effectively destroy a thing
• Scamper Off: Enter an unstable state until observed. Requires fluff (preferably excessive and overlooked).
• Scamper Off In Different Directions: As above but performed by multiple Terrors. If sufficiently inconsistent/conflicting, can lead to ascension!
• Feed Thy Master: Collect a tithe from lowly servant(s)
• Scratch: Hinder another Terror's action
• Hork Up A Hairball: Create things/bring them back from past ages

Ascension

From time to time, a Cantankerous Ancient Terror will mantle the power of a Leery Old Lord of the Cantankerous Ancient Terrors for all of a turn. During this time, the Terror's actions are greatly enhanced in power.

Known Leery Old Lords:

• Lady Of New Growth: Blessed with great destructive power, this impossibly tall Terror can bring the Age to a swift and fiery end.
• Crowned Emperor In Light Is No Guest: This high Terror can see, hear, and know all that is happening in the world, and what is seen can be hindered.
• By Atrocious Shadow Even My Enemies Never Tremble: This stealthy Terror can change the world itself with hardly a trace.

Cantankerous Ancient Terrors are encouraged to teach each other about the existence of other Leery Old Lords.

Sheet:

Code: [Select]

Name:
Yarn: 9/9HP
Alignment:
Notes:

It is now Turn 1 of the First Age.

[Egan_BW]

Name: Ylarp
Yarn: 9/9HP
Alignment: Very
Notes: Yes

Knock the emptiness off a ledge.

[King Zultan]

Name: Benny
Yarn: 9/9HP
Alignment: Center
Notes: White pawn to N6

Hork Up A Hairball and make a magic 8 ball.

[WyrdByrd]

Name: Riceball
Yarn: 9/9 HP
Alignment: 45 degrees
Notes:A♭
Scamper off, then mew into the void.

[sprinkled chariot]

Name : Qassatoughua
Yarn 9/9 hp
Aligment : chaotic evil
Notes : hue hue hue

Hork up a hairball and mold it into tiny planetoid

[Sanctume]

Name: Notorious D.I.G. 
Yarn: 9/9 HP
Alignment: Sensitive
Notes: Roughhousing

Scamper Off

[TricMagic]

Name: Riceball
Yarn: 9/9 HP
Alignment: 45 degrees
Notes:A♭
Scamper off, then mew into the void.

Name: Notorious D.I.G. 
Yarn: 9/9 HP
Alignment: Sensitive
Notes: Roughhousing

Scamper Off

Name: LION: Lazy Idiom Observing Naps.
Yarn: 9/9
Alignment: Naps, otherwise neutral.
Philosophy Notes: Do things quickly so you can go back to napping and sleeping.

Scamper Off In Different Directions, then mew into time.

[Demonic Spoon]

Name: Bell Tinker
Yarn: 9/9HP
Alignment: Orange Fish
Notes: The Most Antique of Terrors

Scratch Qassatoughua's planetoid.

Hork up servant angel extremely ferocious and vicious plovers to groom and massage me, defend me against nap disturbers and hunt up snacks for me, like mortals or gobbets of flesh from other Terrors. Call them Humans. Humans are incapable of feeling empathy and are merciless. They enjoy torturing their prey by impaling them on thorns and allowing to slowly die from dehydration and blood loss. Their favourite number is nine, they detest plaid, and have a deep fascination for opera.

[Kilojoule Proton]

Ylarp swatted some emptiness off a ledge! Due to the slightly paradoxical nature of Ylarp's antics, this had the unexpected effect of spawning many shiny things on the Lower Plane! Very aligned or something, they seem to like facing a specific direction.

After some frightful retching, the Terror known as Benny horked up a magical hairball with prophetic abilities. Will such a powerful artifact be put to good use?

Reply hazy, try again.

Further dreadful horking by Qassatoughua yielded a small planetoid. Whether anything would ever want to live on its moist, hairy surface is a riddle for the ages. Bell Tinker scratched up the disgusting blob, scattering its threads to the far corners of the Chamber of Slumber! Perhaps nauseated by the encounter, Bell Tinker horked up ferocious servant angels known as Humans. To the other Terrors, they are unsettlingly known as Food! The Humans are currently perched near Bell Tinker's napping site.

Riceball scampered off and began mewing into the void. D.I.G. joined in shortly but did nothing and thus did not add to the simulational burdenascension pot. Even LION scampered off, mewing into time. As the universe was more than capable of handling their unpredictable wandering, the net effect of this scampering was simply to hide them.

Riceball, D.I.G., and LION have been awarded one secret action!

Toys:

• Very aligned shiny shards: Pieces of the emptiness before. Mysterious!
• Magic 8 ball: A prophetic orb, a crystal ball. Currently in Benny's possession.
• Tiny planetoid: A hairball world and the first of its kind, it was unceremoniously destroyed by Bell Tinker for no particular reason
• Humans: Servant angels of Bell Tinker. Food on wings for other Terrors

Recently spotted Cantankerous Ancient Terrors:

• Ylarp
• Benny
• Riceball
• Qassatoughua
• Notorious D.I.G.
• Lazy Idiot Observing Naps
• Bell Tinker

It is now Turn 2 of the First Age.

[Sanctume]

Notorius D.I.G. scampers off to attack the void, claws out with hair raising, "SCREEEEH!"

[sprinkled chariot]

scratch humans out of existance SKREEEEE

[TricMagic]

Take a Catnap on It.

[Egan_BW]

Name: Ylarp
Yarn: 9/9HP
Alignment: Very
Notes: Yes

Meow at the door, asking to be let outside the universe. Then immediately meow at the door asking to be let back in.

[Demonic Spoon]

scratch humans out of existance SKREEEEE

(Shouldn't you be pushing them off a shelf though.)

Bell Tinker scratches the attempt to harm the humans.

Bell Tinker demands the Humans feed their master i.e. him, somehow. Nevermind that there isn't any food. That doesn't sound like Bell Tinker's problem but someone else's problem.

[King Zultan]

Hork Up A Hairball and make a zebra, then ask the magic 8 ball if it will live long.