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Author Topic: Racoons of Death  (Read 10537 times)

LordBucket

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Racoons of Death
« on: March 07, 2007, 11:37:00 am »

So, I just started a new game...

Maybe fifteen minutes in, still tunneling out the initial tunnel to the river, when I see the following:

"Rogthirkuk cancels eat: interupted by racoon."

Hmm. Annoying racoons. I ignore it and go back to business.

"Foegirbag cancels drink: interupted by racoons."

At this point I start wondering what kind of racoon this is. I mean...why exactly do dwarves stop drinking because there's a racoon half a map away? Is it an undead racoon? Then, over the next minute my screen erupted with dozen interupts, as three racoons descend on my camp, and the dwarves panic. Everyone stops what they're doing to run around in terrified little circles.

This, of course, amuses the racoons to no end, and they give up on the food they came for to chase the dwarves around for a good laugh.

"Gebugbuh cancels tunnel: interupted by racoon"
"Foegirbag cancels gather wood: interupted by racoon"
"Hebeyuk cancels pregnancy: interupted by racoon"
"Foegirbag cancels the cancellation process: interuped by racoon"

Pages and pages of cancellations. Ordinarily when a racoon whows up I just ignore him and the cancellations, he steals some food or a silk handbag or something, and he's on his way. Not this time. Minutes and minutes of racoon interuptions. Eventually they did lose interest in in dwarves and made for the food.  And, how ravenous they were! Not one piece of food stolen...not even one piece of food stolen each, but over the next three or four minutes, TEN PIECES of food were stolen! I really don't know what happened. Whether it was three racoons each coming back for several trips, or whether they were going home and telling their buddies to come play, but I never saw more than three at a time. By the tenth piece of food stolen, though, I was starting to realize that the racoons weren't merely a nuisance.

They were evil.

So, I rallied my forces for our final stand near the furniture stockpile...and, what a glorious battle it was! How proud I was of my dwarves as they courageously held their formation despite only outnumbering the viscious racoons a little over two to one.

Indeed, it was a proud day for dwarves everywhere, and not a single racoon was left standing. Ever shall we remember the Battle of the Furniture Stockpile, the dread day that the Evil Racoons of Death were finally laid to rest.

Bucket Man

[ March 07, 2007: Message edited by: LordBucket ]

[ March 07, 2007: Message edited by: LordBucket ]

Marsume

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2007, 12:09:00 pm »

Yea, for being stalwart dwarves they seem to be kind of skiddish. When was the last time you ran from a deer? When was the last time you had an axe and ran from a deer? In fact when was the last time you had an axe, 4 friends with axes, were half drunk on rum, chopping down trees and even noticed a deer?
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LordBucket

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2007, 12:21:00 pm »

Maybe they're too cute for dwarves to cope with. I can see it now...

"Hey, Boojebuh...there's a deer over there."

"Yeah, I see him. Maybe if we ignore it he'll go away."

(The deer sees the dwarves and cautiously comes a few steps closer)

"Uh-oh..."

"Maybe if we ignore him, he'll go away."

(The deer keeps coming)

"Oh no! What do we do!?!?!"

"Don't move! Deer aren't very smart. If we hold perfectly sill, maybe he'll think we're trees and just leave."

(The deer come over and affectionately nuzzles a dwarf.)

"Aaarrrgghghghgh!!!!!! RUNAWAY!!!!!!"


Bucket Man

thvaz

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2007, 01:29:00 pm »

Reading this thread made me laugh out loud...at work.  :)
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #4 on: March 07, 2007, 01:50:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by Marsume:
<STRONG>When was the last time you had an axe? In fact when was the last time you had an axe, 4 friends with axes, were half drunk on rum, chopping down trees?</STRONG>

Revised :X
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But what do I know?
Everything I say should be taken with atleast 1 tsp. of salt, and another liter of Dwarven Wine is recommended.

"I thought it was the size of the others!" said Vanon. "I guess it was just standing further away!"

Marsume

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #5 on: March 09, 2007, 05:31:00 pm »

Yesterday.
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Goodgame

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2007, 10:20:00 pm »

but even the dead corpses of Raccoons is menacing (like menacing spires of Raccoon leather) and will interrupt if in the path of a gentle dwarf.
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Spud

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2007, 06:46:00 pm »

I always figured that the interuptions were just the dwarves staring at whatever and gaping.

Dwarf sees a deer whilst chopping wood.
(drops axe)
Wow. A deer.
Well, im bored.
(walks off)

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I hate it when people answer "whats going on" with "not too much".
Plenty of shit is going on and you know it. Spill motherfucker.

Deon

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2010, 03:53:54 am »

Too bad I missed it :). Cool story.
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✫ DF Wanderer ✫ - the adventure mode crafting and tweaks
✫ Cartographer's Lounge ✫ - a custom worldgen repository

Footkerchief

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2010, 04:43:12 am »

You do realize this thread is over three years old, right?
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sweitx

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2010, 10:45:52 am »

You do realize this thread is over three years old, right?

Deon, The Master Necromancer.
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One of the toads decided to go for a swim in the moat - presumably because he could path through the moat to my dwarves. He is not charging in, just loitering in the moat.

The toad is having a nice relaxing swim.
The goblin mounted on his back, however, is drowning.

Demonic Spoon

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2010, 12:11:12 pm »

It may be three years old but it's still awesome.  :D
« Last Edit: March 28, 2010, 12:13:14 pm by Demonic Spoon »
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maxicaxi

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2010, 12:20:25 am »

It may be three years old but it's still awesome.  :D

indeedy
 this sould go on stories
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I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this fort any more. Migrants arrive, they die for some reason, the fort is flooded for another reason, then dwarves go mad, more dwarves die and I'm just laughing in my distress.
you cannot defeat the potato.

Brandon816

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2010, 01:57:28 am »

How do you even find a thread that's 3 years old?

Anyway, I'm not so sure why dwarves are afraid of raccoons, but this pic shows why they are afraid of deer.

Edit: Alright, that hosting site was lame. Here goes attempt two at showing the flying deer of death.

« Last Edit: May 21, 2010, 12:27:06 am by Brandon816 »
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o_O[WTFace]

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Re: Racoons of Death
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2010, 03:50:19 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Racoon sieges are brutal if you aren't prepared.

Also, Brandon816 your img doesn't work.  Edit: and mine doesn't either... fixed?
« Last Edit: May 20, 2010, 03:59:33 am by o_O[WTFace] »
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...likes Dwarf Fortresses for their terrifying features...
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