All the surface water has returned!November 1, 7:30 PMThe sun is starting to go down.Its FUNKY.The surface of every continent except North America is sand.The FUNKSTORM has grown to cover all of Europe, the Middle East, and the northern parts of Africa.The town the game started in has been destroyed.All animal life on Earth has evolved into bigger, stronger, and FUNKIER versions of themselves, and they also hate all humans and pumpkin zombies and want to kill them, all of them in North and south America, Europe, Africa, and the Middle East are dead.All the plants on Earth are dead.An evil sorceress is doing evil stuff.Kakaluncha didn't post for the tenth time so random action, if they do not post by next turn they will become a NPC.WyrdByrd didn't post for the ninth time so random action.Smoke Mirrors didn't post so random action.Attempt to hypnotize the guards to attack each other
(Hypnotizing the guards = 5) You use your magic to hypnotize several of the demons and they believe you're their leader so they move to protect your group and attack and kill the other demons.
(Sand golums fighting = 3) They only kill a few of the mutant animals.
continue fixing the Space station.
(4) Your people quickly finish building and installing the remaining systems and when there inspection they find the station to be in working order.
Use death star to randomly blow up planetary objects that are not part of my empire
(Blowing up planetary objects = 4) You drive the Death Start around and blowup a few moons and asteroids.
Candy grants great power, and each of these candy gem apples are crystallized essences of that ability.
With CGA in hand, cut off all other dimensional phenomena around the planet.(other than our more scientific portal.)
The dinos meanwhile are to use the sugar cannons to blast the earth on the continent back to normal.(bonus thanks to being made of sugar)
(Using CGA to cut off all other dimensional phenomena = 5) You use one of your CGAs to cut off all dimensional phenomena on the Earth, which isn't very much apparently as you find that there is only one other portal besides your own which is closed by your magic, you also feel like you thwarted an attempt to join the Earth and another dimension.
(Using the cannons to turn the North American continent back to normal = 4) Using the sugar cannons you turn the North America continent back to normal, but the plants are still dead.
Run around like crazy and slice and dice the guardsmen around their God Emperor while spinning to make it harder to hit me.
When all the guardsmen are dead, leap at the God Emperor and finish him off by combo-stabbing his throat.
HAU: Build more bunkers, keep praying to the FUNKSTORM.
FSA: Start proselytizing the inhabitants of Australia.
(Spinning around to make it harder to hit you = 6) Your spinning causes you to get dizzy after a bit and you fall over and hurt yourself on some broken glass.
(Running around killing guards = 5) You run around and kill all the guards even the ones that just showed up.
(Finishing off the God Emperor with combo stabbing = 4) After having to chase him for a bit you finally catch up to him and stab the crap out of him, but he continues to crawl away just barely hanging on to his life.
(HAU building more bunkers = 2) Their to busy getting out of the way of the storm to bother building bunkers.
(HAU praying to the FUNKSTORM = 2) Their prayers get interrupted by people having to go to the bathroom, get some food, take care of children, and other things.
(FSA proselytizing the people of Australia = 5) They quickly convert most of the people in Australia into Funkists.
Paint my cockroach-infested fridge from before all this happened.
(Remembering what the cockroach-infested fridge looked like = 5) You remember your cockroach-infested fridge quite well and you miss it dearly.
(Painting the fridge = 4) So you paint it to keep its memory fresh and always visible, and you feel the painting turned out quite well.
LET'S BREAK FOR LUNCH. TIME TO EAT SOME OF THIS JUNK FOOD!
CHAT WHILE WE EAT.
"SO, WHERE ARE YOU FROM, FRIENDO? I DUNNO ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M FROM, UH, THE MORTAL PLANE I GUESS YOU'D CALL IT? I COME FROM A PLACE CALLED EARTH, NOT SURE HOW WELL-KNOWN IT IS OUT HERE. THING IS, I DON'T KNOW HOW IT IS WHERE YOU'RE FROM, BUT BACK HOME - IF WE COULD GET OUR HANDS ON SOME OF THIS HELL-WEED THEY SMOKE HERE - WE COULD MAKE ABSOLUTE BANK SELLING THAT STUFF."
TALK BUSINESS WITH MY BUDDY!
"THINK ABOUT IT! WEED THAT SOMEHOW TELEPORTS YOU TO A SPOOKY-ASS HOSPITAL IN SOME ZOMBIE-INFESTED CORNER OF THE DEMON BLOODSPORTS DIMENSION?? PEOPLE WOULD SELL THEIR OWN GRANNIES FOR JUST A LI'L TOKE OF THAT STUFF. MIGHT WANT TO SET UP SOME KINDA PORTAL ON THIS END TO HAVE ANY SURVIVING, REPEAT CUSTOMERS, BUT THOSE ARE DETAILS WE'LL WORK OUT LATER. MOVE OVER, FLAKKA, THERE'S A NEW GAME IN TOWN! WHAT SAY YOU?!"
(Pausing for lunch = 4) You and your friend stop for a bit and eat some of the snacks you've collected.
(Finding out where he's from = 5) He tells you that he's from a rural community and hasn't been in a town this sized in a long time.
(Has he heard of Earth = 5) It turns out he has heard of Earth, apparently they get some Earth TV channels and sometimes humans will find there selves in trapped in the Bloodsports dimension.
(Talking business = 3) At first he doesn't seem that interested.
(How does he feel about selling Hell Weed = 5) But when you keep talking he gets more interested and becomes more interested in selling the Hell Weed to people.
Go eat at the restaurant then. Should have some decent food!
(4) You go to the restaurant and use your coupon to get a free meal, and it is quite a good meal you get.
Use my powers to put the water back where it belongs.
(2+2 For powers) Using you powers you return the oceans, rivers, lakes, ponds, and swamps back to their original places.
Use the portal to allow the Earth and the FUNKIVERSE to be one again.
(5-3 For some other action) Just as you are about to succeed something happens and not only prevents you from joining the two it closes your portal to the FUNKIVERSE.
Runaway from my attacker and call the rest of my guards to attack him, while the army, teams, civilians continue to retreat to the Middle East, and everyone starts loading into the spaceships.
(Calling your guards to attack him = 6) You call your guards to kill the man and they rush in to fight, but some of them don't and they instead run away, then you hear all your guards get murdered by that guy.
(Running away from your attacker = 5-2 For damaged received last turn) So you hall ass away, but he stays on your tail and eventually catches up to you and stabs you some more, you are now bleeding on the floor nearly dead.
(Army 1 evacing civilians = 2) They can't find any one to evac.
(Army 2 evacing civilians = 3) They only find a few people to get out.
(Teams aiding in the evacuation = 3) They also only evac a few people.
(Civilians evacuating to safer areas = 5) The keep fleeing in droves.
(People loading into the spaceships = 3) Only a few manage to get on.
(What does the FUNKSTORM do = 4) It stays steady and keeps destroying.
NPC STUFFTry again to use some of my holy magic to turn the sand in and around my fief back to dirt.
(4) You use your magic to change the sand back, and it works this time, but then suddenly all the sand every where changes back to dirt.
Continuing to attack, while I aid in the fight.
(Everyone fighting = 3) They only kill a few of the demons.
(Everyone fighting = 6) They kill a few mutants but lose a few of their own.
(Everyone fighting = 6) They also kill some mutants and lose some of their own.
(You fighting = 5) You manage to kill several demons by yourself.
Keep casting spells while the mutant animals and demons continue to defend the fort.
(Casting spells on the enemy = 5) You spells explode the attackers.
(Mutant animals defending = 3) The mutants do a poor job of defending the fort.
(Demons defending = 4) They manage to kill a bunch of the warriors.
Quick try to find a new distraction.
(3) The new distraction doesn't last very long, but then suddenly the ground goes back to normal and everyone stops panicking .
Places in space:-
Percent of Ziizo's Animal City destroyed: 0%-
Percent of The Canadian kitten's Moon DISCO BALL Base destroyed: 0%Percent of America destroyed: 48.64%-
Percent of Dustan Hache's fief destroyed: 2.34%-
Percent of Outsider's monastery destroyed: 0%-
Percent of Evil sorceress's fortress destroyed: 5.76%-
Percent of Spacenoid base destroyed: 0%Percent of Canada Earth destroyed 49.32%-
Percent of Pumpkin Hippy commune destroyed 0%Percent of France destroyed: 100%Percent of Europe destroyed: 100%Percent of Middle East destroyed: 45.54%Percent of The Holy African Union destroyed: 36.50%Yoink
Health: FINE / flaming pants
Inventory: loaded shotgun, a few lighters, some rolling paper, chips, candy, soda, glass bottles of beer, different kinds of chips, big ass sword, sword surfing skills, beer, a creature that's a follower has a handgun, first aid kit, a few rolls of bandages, sewer map, hard hat, some snacks, subway map
Kakaluncha / clothing fit for the Emperor of Mankind they inspire loyalty / The Emperor of Mankind / telepathic / telekinetic / really good at UNO
Health:ALMOST DEAD
Inventory: a bowl, two animated trees, Ninja Elvis costume, The Flying Guillotine, manifesto about the Cult to the Supreme Being, air plane, blood pilot, Maximilien Robespierre's ghost, Napoleon Bonaparte's ghost, knows everything about coups, knows about different propaganda, laptop, Leon Trotsky's ghost, Vladimir Lenin's ghost, know everything about revolutions, 34 ghostly Russian troops, Robespierre costume, a bunch of candy, 100 ghosts in the afterlife, some radiation as an ally, some mecha parts, more radiation friends, Comms that allow communication with North America, a bunch hyper evolved animal slaves loyal to you, several more ghost troops, knowledge on how to bring the dead back from the dead, even more mutant animals loyal to you, several ships, plan for indoctrination of children, three spaceships capable of flying through hyperspace with 76,543 people
France: everything's destroyed
Afterlife: a French puppet state, lead by distinguished puppers
Europe: 257,041 followers, most parts are damaged
The Middle East: Rebuilt, 2,276,982 followers
Dustan Hache / knight / blessed with strength
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: slightly damaged Plate armour, shield, sword, one small candy, bowl of candy, two bags of candy, even more candy, one factories worth of candy, lots of fish, 21 new survivors
Fiefdom: walls, lots of food, crops, Good moral, hunting party, water snake with arms that takes care of the crops, militia ready to fight. every one has a house, several people inured, a bunch of smoked meats, some tanned hides
ziizo / like new again ULTRA-MEGA-ZORD made from ten zords and has nine animal pilots
Health: FINE
Inventory: road atlas, lime green hatchback with full tank of gas slightly damaged, large pipe, music CD, all kinds of cooking tools, mutant deer thing has the legendary laser gun, very big army of animals, zord manual, two space pirate ships, big laser, several large weapons, lots of raw materials, other stuff, massive amount of food, lots of water, several ship engines, a nuclear power generator, a still functional shuttle craft, space station, several space suits
Animal city: traps, trenches all around, razor wire, landmines, fortified walls and positions, more mounted machine guns, improved to with stand being space, space worthy, in space, space port of pirates, fields of corn
Naturegirl1999 / doesn't have the power to switch bodies / has telekinesis / knows the basics of FUNKY magic / blood wings
Health: DAMAGED
Inventory: three followers they all have wings of blood, several sand golems, 8 hypnotized demons
Spells: Light, Shield, Detect magic, Detects traps, Magic mapping, Resist magic, magic missile, disco dancing, power thrusting, several other advanced spells
CABL / second prophet of FUNK / Avatar of FUNK
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: incredibly close to the true wisdom of the FUNK
The Holy African Union: Better than what it was before the war, 3,055,543 Funkist followers above ground, 321,141 in the bunkers,anti-Imperium propaganda, guerrilla fighters, dirty tactics, two swords made of pure FUNK energy, city of Johannesburg destroyed, three bunkers
The Funky States of America in Australia: 21 America Funkists, 8,239,131 Funkists
ANGRY_DEMON_NOISES / Is Angry Halloween Kaiju / soul magic / ULTRA OVERDEITY OF HALLOWEEN / combined with Samhain and Gates of Hell haunted house / blessing of strong bones and spookiness
Health: SLIGHT DAMAGE
Inventory: 4000 page waiver that has to be signed to get into the haunted house if you sign it or read it you lose your soul, one soul, posters advertising the GATES OF HELL HAUNTED HOUSE, Smoke Mirrors's ankles, thirty souls, a bunch of demons, all of Earth's gumball machines, necronomicon, bigger suit case
The Canadian kitten / ability to fly / god powers / mind slightly crushed crushed / explosion proof / higher powered god than you were before
Health: FINE
Inventory: can opener, some bottles of water, 9mm handgun, bike, first aid kit with aspirin a few bandages and a first aid pamphlet, knife, shotgun, rifle, .44 magnum revolver, anti-tank rifle, 1976 cat army with extra sharp claws some of them are pregnant, a box of candy, several spaceships with weapons, small colonies on Mercury, Venus, Mars, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto, 5 nuclear bombs, spaceship with guns, death star, planetary shield
Moon DISCO BALL base: several buildings, a few defensive positions
Enemy post / employee of the month
Health: FINE
Inventory: rock, has a job in a "office" organizing files and papers regarding new species and issues faced by the new world, art supplies, masterpiece painting of the fighting in the town, less money, split a studio with a fat dog, a beautiful painting of CABL’s fight with Angelo/Diablo, painting of Satan's office, masterpiece magical painting of the FUNKY Earth, beautiful painting of the damaged Earth, painting of your cockroach-infested refrigerator
Smoke Mirrors / Angelo and Diablo / couldn't lose your soul even if you wanted to / one ankle / angel magic / OVERDEITY OF ALL HOLIDAYS / on fire
Health: FINE
Inventory: six million souls, time machine, bottle of secrete stuff, ANTI-FUNK energy
Avetruetotheimperator / SPACE GUY / vauge space psychic powers
Health: FINE
Inventory: massive pile of candy, badly damaged small spaceship, sand castle with fusion reactor, restaurant coupon
Medium sized fortress on the planet:
Outsider / ascetic monk
Health: MORE DAMAGE
Inventory: 12 enlightened, 36 injured enlightened people, a bunch of tools, some of building materials, 277,977,654 enlightened pumpkin zombies, everyone's better than professional fighter
Monastery: farm, wall, lots of rooms
WyrdByrd / FUNK-Master / increases FUNKability / ONE WITH THE FUNK / CREATURE OF PURE FUNK
Health: FINE
Inventory: 15 FUNKY disciples, 23 FUNKY creatures, LAVA LAMP, DISCO BALL, STEREO, 36 people enlightened about the FUNK
FUNKY Church: Filled with FUNKY stuff, "Holy FUNK book", split between two parties, leads the half of the FUNKY Church called FUNKODOXES, 12 plant creatures, foundation for a magical realm
Evil sorceress
Health: FINE
Inventory: 337 demons, 642 mutated animals, stack of magical tomes that can enhance your powers also have some powerful spells
Former gas station now a proper fortress: high walls, towers, a moat, in the middle of nowhere
TricMagic / Magical
Health: FINE
Inventory: Lots of dinos, some sugar cannons, a few candy gem apples
Base camp, set up for desert conditions, portal, platform to portal
The country of Oman has been destroyed.
If you wear a costume you become whatever the costume depicts.
The more candy you have the more powerful you become.
There's a massive army of animals.
The apocalypse happened.
Ceres has been destroyed.
Jupiter has been destroyed.
Super Hell has been destroyed.
The Unholy Pail has been killed.
VY Canis Majoris has been destroyed.
There's a demon bloodsports dimension.
The moon is much bigger and is a DISCO BALL.
Canada has be magically renamed to Earth.
The entire Earth has been covered with a wave of FUNK.
The FUNKY Church is a thing, and its divided, Half follows CABL and the other half follows WyrdByrd.
Large space station filled with aliens that are willing to buy your ill-gotten goods.
Johannesburg has been destroyed.
Dongguan has been destroyed.
France has been destroyed.
The Earth has been turned into sand and the surface water is gone.