Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Superdorf]

We could steal the alcohol we need to get though the working day.

Of course-- you'll steal the drinks! Serves the elf right for juicing your kinsfolk.



NINJA MUSHROOM STEALTH MODE: ACTIVATED



You tiptoe into the tavern keeper's peripheral vision like only a sneaky mushroom can...
...
Jackpot!



This is rather an odd barrel, come to think of it. You've never seen barrel slats made of stone before... must be a regional thing.
Flexing your mighty mushroom arms, you lift the entire barrel with one hand!





You grab a shiny goblet to drink out of for good measure.



Oh no, you've been spotted!



Hmm, he seems rather nervous about the copper spear you're wielding...



NINJA MUSHROOM STEALTH MODE: DEACTIVATED



Yeah you bet your goose leather undies that's a weapon, now back off!
Waving your copper spear menacingly, you stagger



out to the back of the tavern.



The elf doesn't follow. Good, he better not. Now for your ill-gotten spoils!



You've never really touched alcohol before. You've heard it makes people happy... you wonder if that's true?
You don't really have a mouth, so you just kinda... pour the liquid over yourself. You can feel it seeping through your flesh.



Hmm, not bad... you don't feel any waves of euphoria coming on tho.



Maybe if you drink more?



Hmm.



MORE

...

Ooog.



You appear to be... leaking? A nasty-smelling sludge-- excess alcohol, and various waste products of your fungal digestive system-- drips from your gills, collecting into a pile at your succulent feet.



That was decidedly unpleasant.



Still, you certainly won't need to take in more liquids any time soon. Onward!



What do you do?

[King Zultan]

Obviously we need to drink more get some supplies and head out and began our adventure, right after we save any plumphelmets that might me in the tradedepot

[Superdorf]

In your drunken stupor, you consider what you'll need before you set out for glorious adventure. Dwarfish armor doesn't really fit you, but you could perhaps obtain a better weapon... something suited to your small stature. A short sword, maybe? A spear? Perhaps a shield. Adventurers have shields, right? Either way, you'll have to come to a proper decision before you go looking.

Whatever you do, you decide, you must free your fellow mushrooms from the trade depot! You saw five, and very beleaguered they looked indeed... their caps drooping, their myceliae barbarically torn from the sodden earth! You cannot heal their ruined roots, but your brethren must at least be taken from this dismal place, lest some slavering elf consume them.

You saw a nice cache of equipment down in the fortress-- some of it was steel! You'll find whatever you need there, most likely... unless you come up with a better idea.



What do you do?

[Spriggans]

What do you do?

So, you did find 5 plump helmets ?
I think it's finally time to do it then : Eat the mushrooms !

[King Zultan]

What do you do?

So, you did find 5 plump helmets ?
I think it's finally time to do it then : Eat the mushrooms !

Its the only way to end their suffering.

[Superdorf]

You further consider the plight of your mushroom kin. Even if you take them far away from this wretched fortress, there will be no replanting their torn hyphae-- they are doomed to languish forever in some barrel or bag, until they wither at last.

No! No, this shall not be! You will find for these tormented fungi a more suitable end-- an honorable end! You will absorb their tattered flesh into yourself, and so end their misery!

Resolutely-- if somewhat unsteadily-- you lurch towards the trade depot, leaving your wine-barrel behind.



The way is difficult



but you soldier on.
Countless elves rise to greet you...



...enthralled (and rather terrified) by your copper weaponry.





Fearlessly you stagger to the very center of the trade depot



take hold of your beleaguered brethren



and raise them up that you might take them into yourself...

"G-greetings... brother"

...

What do you do?

[King Zultan]

IT IS TIME TO DO THE ONLY THING WE CAN, ABSORB THE PLUMPHELMETS!

[Superdorf]

"Brother... what are you doing"
"No"
"No"

Grimly you shove the dying mushrooms into your gills, absorbing their flesh into yourself with strange and potent chemicals.



Consuming one, you turn to the next

"Brother"
"No"



and the next

"No"



Your cap grows bloated, but still you press on... you must end their misery



You must

"no"



NO



Convulsing, you belch out the half-digested remains of the mushrooms five! Their broken flesh lies acidized at your feet, forever suspended in your digestive juices. A chunk of corroding tissue gurgles a little... and is silent.



Elves back away from you, disgusted.

You would weep if you had eyes.

Still, you've eaten and drank, and you're ready to move on to greater things! You were going to go scrounge up some equipment, you recall... it's time you decided exactly what sort of equipment you're looking for.



What do you do?

[Strik3r]

Still, you've eaten and drank, and you're ready to move on to greater things! You were going to go scrounge up some equipment, you recall... it's time you decided exactly what sort of equipment you're looking for.

What do you do?

No ordinary weapon will do, we shall wield our golden goblet as an instrument of war.

[Quaksna]

I think a pair of socks would suit a plump helmet man. Dimple cup dyed, preferably. The goblet could be a symbol of majesty, in the other hand I would put something more... Weapon-like, like...

In epic adventure of Caq Beardknot, his friend Cifi stunned evil tyrant that oppressed frog-folk with silver coin. I think having a pouch of coins would be excellent weapon. Or bag of plump helmets! The blind drunk defeated a blind cave ogre with it. Let's find these ridiculous tools of war somewhere...

[Spriggans]

Still, you've eaten and drank, and you're ready to move on to greater things ! (...)

What do you do?

What could possibly be greater than eating mushrooms ?
I don't see what's left to do. This thread's reason to exist have been completed.
...
Wait.

Guys...
We did it !
We did eat !
Finally !!! It took us 127 replies, but at last somebody did eat his mushrooms !!! (and vomited after that because mushrooms are disgusting...)

My life is complete now !

I can finally rest in peace...

*Spriggans vaporises into the air, the wind blows, and his turned-into-mycelium-body is washed away*
*His cats meow in grief*

[Superdorf]

Votes
"Wield the goblet" (1) - Strik3r
"Wield the goblet in one hand, bag of plump helmets in the other" (1) - Quaksna
"We have fulfilled our purpose in life! End game" (1) - Spriggans
Same-colored suggestions are compatible with each other, and will be fulfilled together.
As the votes currently stand, Reg Mushroomman will wield his goblet, then seek out a bag of plump helmets. Is this your desired course of action?

[PlumpHelmetMan]

Hell yes! Bring on the improvised dual-wielding!

[Quaksna]

Couldn't resist drawing this in advance:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[King Zultan]

The goblet and bag of plumphelmets shall lead us to victory!