"This whole thing has just gone poorly."
Go buy a new pair of pants and shoes from a thrift store then go back to base.
Name: Blarg
Animal Species: Anthropomorphic Zebra
size: Slightly taller than the average human.
Job / Class: Pistolero
Stats
Mind: 1
Strength: 2
Dexterity: 1
Equipment:
Standard firearm: A Mauser C96, an old as dirt ten round semi-auto handgun, it appears to have been gold plated.
Standard melee weapon: An old dingy golf club with a reinforced handle, from the looks of it its a nine iron.
standard armor set: A black business suit with torn up jeans that don't fit, a Kevlar vest underneath, and a M1 Helmet.
Lighter
Bottle of rubbing alcohol
Some rags
19 monies
Head back to the office
Name: Rosaline “Rosy” Cobb
Animal Species: Honey Badger (anthro)
size: As tall as a short human, but stocky.
Job / Class: Commando
Background: Following a short, but violent military career, Rosy found good money working as an enforcer for a third world warlord (the kind backed by a first world intelligence agency). However, even Rosy has standards, so when when she realized she didn’t have the stomach for that kind of work, she decided to head homeward and see if she could use her skills in a more honest profession. For better or worse, she ended up here.
Stats
Mind:0
Strength:2
Dexterity:2
Equipment
Duffel Bag
Worn yet reliable Assualt Rifle
- Silencer
Hand forged Kukri
Surplus Kevlar Body armor
- Hobo Disguise
5 Monie
Take the bus back to HQ. I have a feeling things have gone wrong on so many levels.
Name: Oscar (O.S.S.N.R supersoldier, developed in a alternate dimension in 2016)
Animal Species: Intelligent Field Mouse (Apodemus sylvaticus)
size: ~2 inches
Job / Class: Infiltration Specialist
Special Trait:Psionic - Oscar has a handful of psychic powers to make up for his physical weaknesses including: Telepathy, telekinesis (on inanimate objects up to twice his weight), Extrasensory (up to 20 yards) and projected apathy (helps with stealth by making others “ignore” him unless they are actively searching for intruders.)
Stats (4 points to spend as you see fit. Stats start at 0. 0 is 'average, or maybe a little less')
Mind: 3 (psionic powers require a great deal of understanding and mental willpower to use.)
Strength:-1 (his size does not allow great feats of strength)
Dexterity:2 (small size makes him fairly nimble and quick)
Equipment
Psionic focus (20)
Half-armor (20)
Helper Bot (50)
10 monies
Fly to the office. Do not enter it immediately, let others get in first. That cat is probably going to be really pissed about myself inadvertently giving away the Macks. I'd rather not be in one room with an angry predator that specializes in killing avians, not until there are at least a few people I can hide behind.
While I'm waiting, rake through my memory for any mind spells I can remember. Preferably ones that make groups of people more suggestible.
This group returns to the office. The cat is sleeping on the desk. Everyone is a little too nervous to wake him.
Name: Kongor X (Couldn't think of a better name, mostly)
Species: Intelligent Gorilla
Job: Trained warrior
Trait: Very LIMITED magic ability (When in a fight, he can turn his anger into a blast of fire, ice, or electricity that generates from his fists or whatever weapon he's using to use on his foes. The effects happen randomly i.e. he might want to freeze something but instead it might explode)
Stats
Mind: 1
Strength: 2
Dexterity: 1
Equipment:
Standard melee weapon: a dual ended mace
Standard armor set: The kind of metal plating that would fit a gorilla
50 leftover monies
Look around for some kind of trinkets, magical or otherwise, just as a test to see if my brain is damaged at all
(6) you wander into Trinkets 'R' Us and spend a happy hour browsing their wide array of thingums and whatsits. Brain seems fine, if a bit off center.
This is amazing and I want so badly to playticipate but also I don't have any ideas at the moment so it'll have to wait until later.
Ask Piecewise. He said he had spare ideas.
Name: Lenora
Animal Species: Intelligent Cardinal ((Cardinalis cardinalis)
size: Slightly smaller than average
Job / Class: Scientist
Special Trait: Double Team. Lenora can move so fast, her image stays in different places resulting in illusory copies. It's the Pokemon move.
Stats
Mind:2
Strength:
Dexterity:2
Equipment: 98 monies
what kind of stuff is stored here? Search the shed to see what’s around, while staying as quiet as possible, if found, say that I came to the shed to escape the rain
there's a water pot, a broken lawnmower, three shovels, a few cans of spray paint and a few cans of ordinary paint, a large box of condoms - for sheep, goats, large dogs, and other medium sized quadrupeds, according to the infographic - a few fishing nets and poles, three broken lawn chairs and a wooden chair, several lengths of wood, nails, and an old rusty toolbox.
Wait a gosh darn sec...I thought I posted something here.
Well..
Name: Mr. Itch
Animal Species: Roach
Size: Intimidating, borderline distressing Girth. (8ft)
Job / Class: Smash.
Special Trait: Extremely Robust: Immune to petty things like pain, illness, blood loss, decapitation, radiation, fear, doubt, mercy, etc.
Stats
Mind:0
Strength: 4
Dexterity:0
Equipment (start with 100 monies)
Standard Armor (-40)
Big Ass Metal Club (-10)
Fancy Fitted suit and fashionable hat (-5?)
45 remaining.
+75
=120.
Things Mr. Itch is
Mute, Polite, Practical, Questionably Amoral
Things Mr. Itch is not
Hesitant, Fearful, Respectful of personal space, Easily Comprehensible
Mr. Itch, his plan perfectly executed and his tactical genius proven, fades into the crowd and heads home. On the way he stops by a drug store and buys the following.
1. First aid stuff for fixing his busted carapace
2. A box of chalk in various colors.
3. An assortment of cheap toys from the toy isle. Like army men, woopie cushions, silly putty, cap guns, bouncy balls, etc.
4. A bottle of mineral water.
5. A granola bar.
6. Some cheap novel that has a nice saucy title.
please bold this. Actions must be bolded
You heard the bird:
Bold your actions! ... twat.