Turn 38 Since everything is going to shite, try to wake up Azatoth with eldritch spell, since we all are just his dream, fun stuff should happen
(I was a bit nervous when I rolled this one.)
2As the vampire civil war begins, you attempt to awaken the Nuclear Chaos. Unfortunately, your ritual is unable to overcome the monotonous whining of the accursed pipes.
Rans takes Nuhg to the Mortal Plane and says to him, ”What do you have against this place? All you do by letting these creatures eat it is causing an entire universe to be destroyed. What do you have to gain from all of this?” Bring One of the demons to the Void by possessing one of their bodies and forcing them there. Once there, force the demon from the body, create a cage for the demon that it can’t escape
4, 5Baa threateningly in incomprehensible ancient languages and gore the blood creature with my 49 horns. Request aid from the eldritch monsters protecting the Seven.
Rana vs Nuhg:5 vs 2Eldritch vs Rana:5 vs 2Rana drags Nuhg's ghost back to the mortal plane as he struggles against her and slashes with his 49 horns while Baaing curses. She also attempts to persuade him to give up his crusade, to little apparent effect. She then abandons him to attempt to subdue one of the Seven. She targets One by infecting his blood and dragging him to the mortal plane. Surprisingly, she is able to bring One over and force his soul into a blood cage. At that point, Nuhg calls for help from his Eldritch allies. A floating mass of claws enters the mortal plane, slices into One's possessed body, and drags Rana back out into space.
However, at that moment the Eldritch beings in the region are knocked unconscious by a psychic attack from Adam Simons.
My apologies, old friends, but I can not allow this.
Release a wave of Nephilim magic, putting all Eldritch beings nearby into a sleep they can not wake up from until I wake them. A dreamless sleep, preferably.
6You release a wave of magic to knock out the Eldritch creatures, disabling them for now. However, you realize too late that you count as an Eldritch creature. Angelo and Diablo are temporarily rendered unconscious, leaving only Adam Simon's personality in control. You'll need to awaken them to use your powers again.
We need repairs.
5You detach a segment of the nanobots and dedicate them specifically to maintaining the bridge. The bridge is thoroughly repaired and the nanobots stick around to keep it that way. Only destroying the ship can break the controls now.
use my connection to both the dreamlands and the afterlife to tear open a small hole in the fabric of reality over the bucket, opening the otherside in the soul milk.
Fill the bucket with the soul milk falling from that hole
3You cast the spell correctly, however, the Soul Milk is in neither the afterlife nor the Dreamlands. At least it's useful practice for when you do locate it.
\Use Reality Milk to turn me back into a normal purple grape man, and the Mind Milk to control Doc and make him take me to the delivery.
1+1, 5, 6You try to use the Reality Milk, but you get distracted before you can get it to work properly by Doc returning home in his DeLorean. He only has time to shout "Great Scott!" before you tag him with the Stone. Doc's eyes turn an unnatural shade of blue and he opens the passenger door. You ride with him as Doc accelerates the car to 88 miles an hour. Domr Once on the other side, you find yourself in the Hill Valley of 2017. Doc Brown informs you that his machine doesn't transport you through space as quickly as some other designs, such as the TARDIS. In its defense, Doc argues that it has quite a bit more style. At any rate, you'll need to take a road trip or some other method to get where you wanted to go. The delivery will happen in Genericville, New Hampshire, but you're currently in California. As Doc navigates the car out of town, you almost think you saw someone stalking you from the alleyways.
"The fuck was that?!"
Go back to the bridge and challenge Primus to a duel.
Okay, then. Escape the cargo bay and return back to the bridge, hopefully killing the traitors this time.
4, 4 vs 3+1"Hey, can the Ship I get be of Gothic design as well?
While negotiating for the closest thing I can get to a real imperial ship around here, transform the infinite hordes of redshirts here into guardsmen using a holy Imperial Infantryman's Uplifting Primer I have on hand. Just as a preventative measure in case negotiations break down.
Also, I'm not dueling that captain guy. Even if he escapes from the cargo bay.
4, 6Realizing the diversion, GiantDad sneaks out of the cargo bay and bursts onto the bridge. Primus openly refuses to fight back as Omega Squad duels GiantDad across the bridge. Terminals are smashed to pieces by the battle, and just as quickly restored by Delta's new nanobot division. As the fight rages on, Primus reads an Uplifting Primer to try to turn the ship's new crew into Guardsmen. He does successfully introduce them to many of the strengths of the true Imperial Guard, but unfortunately for him they maintain their original loyalties. GiantDad takes an opening in the battle to level his Chaos Zweihander at Primus' chest. However, at that moment the Alliance negotiator's voice comes through and agrees to let Primus have his own cathedral-shaped ship.
Silence: Strife's!
(Homestuck Reference)
3I felt that. I no longer have time for this.
Triangulate the exact location of the well. Find whatever basement its in, taking a jackhammer to it if nessecary, hoping and praying there’s some kind of archeological exhibit or whatever around it. Put as much into camouflage as possible, do everything to make sure that nothing sees me or the Tardis. Stick the vacuum down the hole until it reaches rock bottom. Then, suck up everything into a large, empty room. Of they’re down there, I doubt that mortal processes could ever destroy their bones, at he very least. If my theory is correct, the Seven, as spirits not of this world, will have left their mortal stuff behind them.
4, 6, 2You successfully mark the location of the basement and use the TARDIS to teleport in. You heavily emphasize to the computer that the entry should be stealthy. The TARDIS thinks hard about what would be least conspicuous for someone stealing ancient bones from a giant well. It considers this carefully, and then decides on a blue police box for some reason. Given the urgent situation, you decide to go through with the attempt anyway. You're still dressed as a janitor, so no need for a new disguise. You exit the police box and get your vacuum ready. However, before you can pull up the bones of the Seven, a guard stops by and asks if you got approval to use heavy equipment here. He also regards your police box with confusion.
"That means we need to go talk to Burt he does all kinds of stuff involving the sun like solar death rays, so he probably has some of what passes for DNA for the sun."
Go to Burt's house and see of he will give us the sun's DNA.
1You, UberBob, and Hooded Bob decide to go visit Burt and see if has any Sun DNA he could part with. Burt's house is a respectably large laboratory lined with solar panels. As soon as you get anywhere near visual range, solar-powered rotary guns pop out of the ceiling and began churning out a torrent of deadly sunrays at you. You leap for cover behind rocks, which quickly start to melt. Burt begins screaming at you from nearby loudspeakers.
"I'LL BURN YOU ALL! YOU GOVERNMENTS AREN'T GONNA TAKE MY TEETH! I AM THE FRIEND, THE MASTER, THE BROTHER OF THE SUN! I'LL MELT YOU BEFORE YOU GET MY TEETH!"Classic Burt. It's nice to know that some people are the same in any timeline.
Thainos has four of the six Infinity Milks.
The Seven will devour the mortal universe in five turns unless prevented.