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Author Topic: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)  (Read 1828 times)

Nirur Torir

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Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« on: April 14, 2019, 03:36:31 pm »

They came, they conquered. In retrospect, we never really had a chance. But it's not over for Humanity, and our story goes on.

How did they invasion go?
A) For their own reasons, they started with the lightest forces and increased the pressure over time, until we broke.
B) They hit us with overwhelming force, and it was over as soon as it began.
C) They spent the last few decades infiltrating us, and won with the support of our governments.
D) They just started colonizing Earth and sweep us aside as bugs when we get in the way. They're that far ahead of us.

Who are they?
E) Amoral aquatic blobbos. They're interested in !!SCIENCE!!
F) Violent psychic ferrets. They're interested in conquest and war.
G) Emotionless servant greys. They're stewards, trying to prepare the galaxy for their mysterious masters.
H) Parasitic backstabbing slugs. Our new overlords seem to have conflicting goals.

What do they want with Earth?
I) Soldiers, to be thrown into a war.
J) They have a way of farming and harnessing our life force.
 J2) Magic is real and has been brought to Earth.
 J3) How can it be that everything is Xianxia now!?
 J4) It's just science, really. Don't question it.
K) The Solar System has a rare resource that can be mined.
L) Earth is to be a tourist destination.
M) It's a colony site.
N) To uplift us under their own control.
O) As hostages against more moral rivals.
P) Slaves.
Q) We're part of a science experiment.

(Write-ins will usually be allowed. Voting is by plan, to prevent accidentally mixing conflicting options. You may try to select multiple options in categories, if it makes sense -- We could be both soldiers and being uplifted, for example.)

Next turn we'll vote on whether you're rebelling or trying to cooperate.

Edit: Slaves and Science Experiment options added.
« Last Edit: April 14, 2019, 04:01:12 pm by Nirur Torir »
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Glass

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #1 on: April 14, 2019, 03:51:10 pm »

Invasion: B, except we managed to hold out for a little while at least. Even now, some soldiers who escaped death are leading ineffective but still-notable resistance efforts.

Aliens: Warmongering wolf-like race; as a whole they want to fight wars and stuff, but everyone's trying to get as much glory as they can, and will undermine their competitors.

Why they're here: Combination of K and J2: our solar system has vastly more of the material needed to do magic than anywhere else in this region of the galaxy, meaning that whoever controls it has a significant arcane advantage. Part of why we're subjugated is because they were worried that we would be able to claim this stuff for ourselves to overwhelm all the established interstellar civilizations.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Nirur Torir

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2019, 04:08:33 pm »

I forgot the science experiment and slave options.
Slaves work, although it might be narrative boring depending on other choices. There are no higher AIs. Blame a universe-wide anti-memetic field.

Glass' write-ins are good, and I like the explanations for choices. I'm not adding them to the list, but feel free to vote them.
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King Zultan

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #3 on: April 15, 2019, 04:39:20 am »

The aliens came to earth and gave us technology beyond what we could make, and helped bring forth world peace, while they asked for nothing in return. They even invited us to go and see their home world and people loved it there so much that they never came back.

And one day one of them left behind a book that was entitled To Serve Man, and after months of work to translate it we discovered the alien's books dark secret that It's...  It's a cookbook!
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
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Ghazkull

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #4 on: April 15, 2019, 05:23:38 am »

AFI

In truth the aliens unerestimated us. We were supposed to be an easy target. They were wrong. Once they realized what forces were required to conquer us completely, they presented us with a different option. Just like the romans in olden times with the Germans, humans now serve as mercenaries, personal guards and elite shock troops in the armies of the Xenos. And truth be told, it suits humanity.
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Kashyyk

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #5 on: April 15, 2019, 06:05:48 am »

AFI

In truth the aliens unerestimated us. We were supposed to be an easy target. They were wrong. Once they realized what forces were required to conquer us completely, they presented us with a different option. Just like the romans in olden times with the Germans, humans now serve as mercenaries, personal guards and elite shock troops in the armies of the Xenos. And truth be told, it suits humanity.
This, but with a bit of K and P thrown in as well.
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Nirur Torir

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #6 on: April 15, 2019, 04:54:13 pm »

AFIP selected.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They call themselves the Zhuul. They live for conflict, even in - perhaps because of - the ravenous pre-sentient childhood stage of their lifecycle. Such a species can only thrive on the backs of their slaves, and so they came to Earth. How long will it even last under their rule, before being left a barren husk?

The first wave brought devastation, but we eventually managed to cull the hordes of their young their slavers leave behind. We managed to down one of their abduction saucers, and at great cost, wear down and eliminate the crew.

Their technology is ramshackle, and surprisingly ugly for a spacefairing species. Still, it was enough to reverse-engineer fusion reactors and fusion jet drives.

By the third wave, we could actually retaliate. A trio of converted submarines hidden in orbit, loaded with box launchers and prototype fusion missiles, were able to cripple their flagship before being destroyed. In an apparent coup, the Zhuul finished destroying the flagship themselves, and proceeded to bomb our major cities and military centers in retaliation. (Previously they had ignored our defenses and focused on taking slaves.)

We were devastated, but things had changed. We hadn't earned their respect: The Zhuul have none to give. What we had done was proven that we had potential to be useful to them.


The Zhuul consider Humanity to have one big advantage that sets it apart on the field of warfare. What is it?
A) We're highly resistant to psychic powers. Some of us manage to be impossible to sense. This comes at the cost that we will never be able to wield these powers ourselves.
B) Organization. The Zhuul fight in small packs, each seeking joy in slaughter. This tendency restricts even their best ground commanders. Humans manage to be more communal than most of the Zhuul's rivals, easily creating and following chains of command and ignoring personal objectives.
C) Stamina. The Zhuul are terrifying foes in combat, all claws and psionic fury. But this comes in a burst, and they have serious trouble fighting on-and-off battles spanning a week. World War 1 trench warfare is absurd to the average Zhuul.
D) Science and engineering. X-COM BABY ALL DAY E'ERY DAY!

Who are we?
E) We lead one of the first marine companies conscripted by the Zhuul. Ship-to-ship battles aren't to our strengths, but taking and holding hostile planets are.
F) We'll be placed in charge of a new frontier fortress and responsible for protecting the planet. The planet has an ork infestation, which can outfight standard Zhuul garrisons. The native Zhuul are unlikely to accept our gonvernorship, and we are expected to constantly be in low-level combat them as well.
G) We were the ground-side admiral in charge of the sucessful space-submarine strike. To see what else we can do, we will be granted command over a small outdated fleet, based at Earth. Zhuul marines will be aboard all ships and only nominally under our command, ensuring our obedience.
H) We can never accept Zhuul overlords. We're in charge of a resistance cell on Earth, and will fight on.
 1) We fight for vengeance.
 2) We fight for freedom.
I) We will be in charge of a group allowed to attempt to colonize a former Zhuul world stripped barren. They'll demand tithes, likely before we're ready for them.
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KitRougard

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2019, 06:37:52 pm »

You said it yourself...
XCOM ALL DAY EVERY DAY

DH2
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Glass

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2019, 06:40:27 pm »

You said it yourself...
XCOM ALL DAY EVERY DAY

DH2
Does anyone on Bay12 not like XCOM?

+1, by the way.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

KitRougard

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2019, 06:42:17 pm »

The second anyone says a bad word about it they probably get ban-hammered

A thing to note, though - I believe that it is possible by fighting for freedom that if we fight savagely enough, the Zhuul see us as equals and we eviscerate the universe together.

With human guns and armor, with Zhuul savagery in combat, the rest of the Sentients never stood a chance.
« Last Edit: April 15, 2019, 06:58:51 pm by KitRougard »
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Scream all you want
They don't understand
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VoidSlayer

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2019, 11:55:04 pm »

oops I tried to modify this post sorry.
« Last Edit: April 16, 2019, 12:14:41 am by VoidSlayer »
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VoidSlayer

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2019, 12:09:35 am »

DI

Tropico in space?

Tyrant Leviathan

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #12 on: April 16, 2019, 01:31:08 am »

You said it yourself...
XCOM ALL DAY EVERY DAY

DH2
Does anyone on Bay12 not like XCOM?

+1, by the way.

To talk badly of X Com, is hersey. Nuff said.

Kashyyk

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #13 on: April 16, 2019, 02:26:07 am »

CE
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King Zultan

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Re: Alien Protectorate, Earth (Spam)
« Reply #14 on: April 16, 2019, 04:11:35 am »

You said it yourself...
XCOM ALL DAY EVERY DAY

DH2
Does anyone on Bay12 not like XCOM?

+1, by the way.
+1
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The Lawyer opens a briefcase. It's full of lemons, the justice fruit only lawyers may touch.
Make sure not to step on any errant blood stains before we find our LIFE EXTINGUSHER.
but anyway, if you'll excuse me, I need to commit sebbaku.
Quote from: Leodanny
Can I have the sword when you’re done?
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