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[Loud Whispers]

This thread is for discussion about all things France, Norway, Finland and bread puns.

In France today, the yellow jacket rebellion is facing off against the Heavenly Government's Imperial Tiger Guards. What is long united divides, what is long divided unites!

In Norway, the talented crew of the KNM Helge Ingstad were unaware that the Sola TS was a moving object before they sunk 1/5th of the Norwegian frigate fleet, losing the entire navy's annual defence budget in one crash. In an absolute meme, there is this hilarious gem like something out of a Canadian lighthouse mathematics textbook:

2:50 — Sola TS: Helge Ingstad, you have to do something. You are getting very close.

3:05 — Sola TS: Helge Ingstad. Turn!

3:10 —Sola TS: There will be collision here then.

— 15 seconds silence.

[Collides]

KNM 'Helge Ingstad' was repeatedly warned, both by the tanker 'Sola TS' and from the Coastal Maritime Traffic Center Fedje VTS. Their answer was simply 'we are in control'". A third party jamming radar and/or GPS signals, or they were all drunk or high?

We are in control of this thread

Meanwhile in Finland, the news is varied but mostly grim.
10 refugees have been arrested in a crackdown against a grooming gang which repeatedly raped three under-15s, one of which was 10 years old. This has had a political knock-on effect on the expedition of foreigners convicted of crimes. Finns celebrated 101 years of independent Finland on the 6th of December, but celebrations were marred by a banned nazi group. In perhaps the only unqualified good news from Finland in the last week, Finnish scientists made a major breakthrough in the understanding of bee immune systems, boosting hopes for a vaccine which could avert colony collapse disorder across the globe.

[Kagus]

In Norway,

At first, I was wondering how this could have happened...

Then I saw that this took place in Hordaland, about 50km outside of Bergen; which is often referred to as "The Texas of Norway", and things began to take shape.

And then I remembered that the frigate was of course crewed by military personnel, and the final pieces fell into place.

[scriver]

Why couldn't the tanker turn though

[DFNewb]

Just to add something, the KNM Helge Ingstad was supposed to be an unsinkable ship.

Also 4 out of 5 of the navigators were women.

“If this is how the Navy trains its naval officers, it’s shocking. They do not show any discipline or understanding of the roadmap rules, nor how to communicate or navigate at sea,” the experienced captain and navigator Geir S Eilertsen remarked.

[Loud Whispers]

Why couldn't the tanker turn though

It did its best; tankers are big fucking ships that take ages to turn owing to their god awful momentum. Thus according to international traffic law, everyone gets out of the way of tankers. The only ships that might be able to justify not moving out of the way is a minesweeper or aircraft carrier undergoing active operations, or a ship that is disabled

Just to add something, the KNM Helge Ingstad was supposed to be an unsinkable ship.
Also 4 out of 5 of the navigators were women.
“If this is how the Navy trains its naval officers, it’s shocking. They do not show any discipline or understanding of the roadmap rules, nor how to communicate or navigate at sea,” the experienced captain and navigator Geir S Eilertsen remarked.

>unsinkable
>sinks
THE HUBRIS OF MANKIND

At first, I was wondering how this could have happened...
Then I saw that this took place in Hordaland, about 50km outside of Bergen; which is often referred to as "The Texas of Norway", and things began to take shape.
And then I remembered that the frigate was of course crewed by military personnel, and the final pieces fell into place.

Is not 50km enough distance to quarantine Bergen from maritime traffic?

[Starver]

Why couldn't the tanker turn though

A tanker is very much like an over-bureaucratic corporate entity that may have difficulty in comprehending its supply-chain and ground-up retail situation, and even when key decisions are made the corporate inertia prevents agile business response without tortuously slow restructuring of corporate resources.

I can't help feeling there's a better simile in common use, but I can't seem to bring it to mind right this moment.

[Digital Hellhound]

Are we not good enough for the Europe thread, or are we too good for the Europe thread? Yes.

Our plucky local neonazis demonstrating on this day isn’t anything new at this point. They were carrying actual Nazi swastika flags for the first time though, which the police took away from them and they got very upset. There were a few hundred Nazis and thousands of counter-protestors so I can’t really see this as an alt-right triumph. Also one of our veterans* roasted them at the annual presidential reception gala thing, so that was cool. All in all, not super newsworthy in the end.

*Veteran in Finland meaning a veteran of the Winter/Continuation War, so there’s only a handful and they’re a Very Big Deal unlike maybe in countries who fight a war every few years for kicks.

I’ve seen nothing in the news about us being saviors of the bees, which is a pity. Soon the bees will be in our debt, and you will be afraid. You will bee very afraid.

[Loud Whispers]

I love this one dude waiting for the bus while everyone is rioting

I’ve seen nothing in the news about us being saviors of the bees, which is a pity. Soon the bees will be in our debt, and you will be afraid. You will bee very afraid.

Unless the Finns invent waspsquitos I'm cool

[Kagus]

At first, I was wondering how this could have happened...
Then I saw that this took place in Hordaland, about 50km outside of Bergen; which is often referred to as "The Texas of Norway", and things began to take shape.
And then I remembered that the frigate was of course crewed by military personnel, and the final pieces fell into place.

Is not 50km enough distance to quarantine Bergen from maritime traffic?

Well Bergen's a coastal city for one, and also Bergen likes to consider itself its own country, playing into the Texas stereotype. More importantly, the Bergenese people and their ridiculous dialect have spread throughout the rest of Norway, presumably in preparation for The Great Secession, when they shall distract and interrupt the government long enough for those watching from home to renounce the Norwegian monarchy and parliament, and instate themselves as sovereign rulers of The Democratic People's United Republic of Bergen. Finally, Brann will become an international football league, because they won't have any choice.

...I'm exaggerating, of course. Bergen's a nice place, although building a city on a perpetual 20 degree incline in a climate where it rains every 6 out of 5 days... Yeah, probably not the best choice. People from Bergen do have a certain reputation, however.


This likely is more just a matter of the general Norwegian military being horrifically inept. We've got some of the scariest special forces in the world, we really do... Everyone else is just sort of "there".

Except on weekends. They get weekends off, so they're not "there".

[Madman198237]

This likely is more just a matter of the general Norwegian military being horrifically inept. We've got some of the scariest special forces in the world, we really do... Everyone else is just sort of "there".

Except on weekends. They get weekends off, so they're not "there".

Yeah but you guys cheat with those special forces. Anyone can be terrifying if you're venturing into their snow-covered, barely navigable, heavily constricted, forested, frozen wasteland.

[misko27]

I love this one dude waiting for the bus while everyone is rioting

That man should be made an honorary New Yorker, I've never been more proud of a random person. It's just the right combination of "You seeing this shit?", "I'm late for something", being bored, and being annoyed at public transportation. It's perfect.

[Loud Whispers]

I love this one dude waiting for the bus while everyone is rioting

That man should be made an honorary New Yorker, I've never been more proud of a random person. It's just the right combination of "You seeing this shit?", "I'm late for something", being bored, and being annoyed at public transportation. It's perfect.

I like to imagine this one dude has been reincarnated throughout history. Rome burning? Annoyance at being inconvenienced.

[Teneb]

I love this one dude waiting for the bus while everyone is rioting

That man should be made an honorary New Yorker, I've never been more proud of a random person. It's just the right combination of "You seeing this shit?", "I'm late for something", being bored, and being annoyed at public transportation. It's perfect.

I like to imagine this one dude has been reincarnated throughout history. Rome burning? Annoyance at being inconvenienced.

"*sigh* Where is that damn chariot*

Yeah yeah, it wasn't how that worked yadda yadda let me have my shitpost

[SaberToothTiger]

is this why the viking era ended? had the vikings just rammed each other in confusion? explain america explain

[Loud Whispers]

is this why the viking era ended? had the vikings just rammed each other in confusion? explain america explain

The viking era ended when America showed them that freedom was the way