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[Il Palazzo]

I especially like how the OP is Batman.

[DG]

Previously I've respected the Tarn brother's wish to work on the game independently but surely having read this no-one here could possibly argue that they should not immediately assign the OP to an official directorial and/or quality control position as a bare minimum.

[Il Palazzo]

Unfortunately, the OP doesn't care about making games. He'd rather play golf or something.

[George_Chickens]

Previously I've respected the Tarn brother's wish to work on the game independently but surely having read this no-one here could possibly argue that they should not immediately assign the OP to an official directorial and/or quality control position as a bare minimum.

Unfortunately, the OP doesn't care about making games. He'd rather play golf or something.

Imagine DF with golf physics. The very thought is palpable.

[DG]

The spinning +pigtail mitten+ strikes Urist in the head leaving Bomrek three under par.

[Reelya]

I don't like golf.

- Difficulty settings / handicaps.
- In-game tips. Calling things a "sand iron" or a "putting wedge" are dead giveaways. There are also tutorials galore. Plus, on the course, there are ample people (inluding a blatant tutorial character called a 'caddy') who will hand out hints (even if unwanted) about what you're doing. That's clearly a hacky solution by the devs.
- Maps, compass: there are maps and golfers have used compasses.
- Stealth meter, awareness meters - flag on the pin indicates wind direction
- 'Fast travel' features - golf carts
- Predictability - the holes don't magically move around, you can learn the course.
- Turn-based - you take turns hitting your ball, which is clearly bullshit. A proper game would have simultaneous play.

[DG]

Hm...Compelling points. At least DF can fix some of golf's glaring faults by procedurally generating the equipment for each world and giving them unfamiliar names. The player then has the fun of working out whether, for example, a Borik, which consists of an hourglass metal drum with a leather head, is used to strike the Jrilmis, a glass bell with a single low pitch and a full wavering timbre, or vice-versa.

[Il Palazzo]

Hm...Compelling points. At least DF can fix some of golf's glaring faults by procedurally generating the equipment for each world and giving them unfamiliar names. The player then has the fun of working out whether, for example, a Borik, which consists of an hourglass metal drum with a leather head, is used to strike the Jrilmis, a glass bell with a single low pitch and a full wavering timbre, or vice-versa.

That sounds like an artificial 'learning curve' only intellectually illoopyrate people would want. But myself, I have long ago designed a flawless game with greater depth and complexity and 1/2001th of the work output. I'm not a game designer, but I have it all set out on graphing paper. I'm not going to let anyone to see it, though, since they'd just steal my ideas.

[dragdeler]

Those damn third party tools ruining this pure game experience. You get a lazy newb starter pack and it's exactly what it says; quel affront! All you had to do dwarf fortress, was one thing - ONE THING and you completly fucked it up... How hard can it be to feature no toturial? I mean sure it's an outdated nothingburger, but then you had to go mention the damn thing anyways, fail. Just ban all youtubers and ddos the wiki FCOL how hard can it be. I'm still generating that same seed from DasTactic's totus only to repeat his contriving step-by-step lists, you would not believe the amount of work it is to dupe his maps from the little intel we got, and all I ever end up with after all that work is the same sterile example sitting around at a random place doing nothing. What a waste of time.  Have you got no pride stupid dwarf fortress players? When it's obvious to a person with no brain how easy this game is before ever playing it. And wtf is it with google answering questions these days, if I type in: "fastest way to play dwarf fortress" it's not supposed to fucking tell me ffs..


I'm not a waste of time because I agree.  The only thing left to say is: "how to uninstall dwarf fortress?"

[Hanslanda]

I'm so excited for the next OP post

[Il Palazzo]

The only thing left to say is: "how to uninstall dwarf fortress?"

Do you need a tutorial?

[dragdeler]

The only thing left to say is: "how to uninstall dwarf fortress?"

Do you need a tutorial?

IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOU DON'T LISTEN! Go learn to play 3D first, before you talk back to me, birds-eye-view player

[anewaname]

Spoiler: "Door 1" (click to show/hide)

...because developers can't get their shit straight, like with Crysis and World of Warcraft...

All developers work hard at getting their s**t straight before they code anything, but there are always these nobles who want their weirdly-shaped and half-understood s**ts added alongside the developer's s**ts. The nobles add "assistant" developers to "assist" in adding those weird s**ts and the primary developer adds unlabeled levers for the assistant devs to find, and the drummers keep drumming so the beat goes on.....

---- OR ----

Spoiler: "Door 2" (click to show/hide)

I was the +1 during a visit to someone's house and was immediately bored with the varying pitches of pretense so I went outside to throw the ball for the ignored dog and immediately the dog decided to change the game and play "run near the human but don't give the ball back". So there I was, standing in the yard, being out-gamed by the dog.

---- OR ----

Spoiler: "Door 3" (click to show/hide)

Pick your game and work on improving it; even if your game is trolling.

[overseer05-15]

The only game I can think of that fulfills all of those criteria is Adventure and that's a classic so OP might be on to something

[Dorsidwarf]

Is it possible to laminate and frame a  forum post to save it for later appreciation?