I'm back from my holiday, what have I missed? Nothing? Wait, this isn't Ramsay HQ! Oh no, I've been assigned to Paula Deen HQ where I'll be sitting uselessly until an easy enough mission shows up. At least I won't be alone, since...
Mr. Beugs is here with me. We're both kinda bad. We'll improve though!
Aloha from Hawaii! A welcoming commitee of a bunch of deep ones threw a welcome party for us, blasting the music of their people on their sonic pistols. Have I ever told you I hate partys? Ms. Gnelf convinced one of the fishmen to stop whatever it was doing immediately.
Goddamn gilldog! I had high hopes for Mr. Comptroller and now he's dead. Mr. Trade Wind killed the dog with a burst from Asuka.
Wish I haven't lost Mr. Comptroler, but it was a good mission nonetheless. Always good to find some sonic pistol clips.
Dart rifles have just been upgraded. The new darts aren't much better than the old ones, however they still don't require any components to be manufactured.
Gonna take a long time though. That's for later, because Paula Deen HQ needs its ammo first, stun equipment second.
How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real? Look who we managed to recruit this time. Yeah, I know his name is spelled Jaden, not Jayden. We're not keeping him.
Rio de Janeiro, a complete madlad is waving his AK in the little room of his. Ms. Receipt, a rookie, came to stop his tantrum and ground him for punching her multiple times. That guy really thought his fists were stronger than alien alloys? Impressive self-confidence.
Yeah, two tazer clips expended, 500 points gained. I also realized that the Sauceranger doesn't have dart guns on it for some reason.
A USO near Hawaii, probably choke-full of aquatoids.
We're assaulting the ship anyway. Pawnshop's got a seabot chassis which is unarmed but glowy. We haven't got gas cannons or crossbows, meaning we'll be bringing aquatoids home.
Oh no, sonic guns and shields. This might be harder than I expected. At least Pawnshop is quite resistant to concussive damage, so maybe he'll tank?
Welp, Target is dead. Better this chassis than the laser tank one, I guess. Mr. Princess disabled the shield using his wakizashi, then Mr. Hare darted the aquatoid and healed it so we can bring it home for interrogation.
I just realized - sonic guns are so powerful because they are supposed to be used underwater against enemies resistant to concussive damage. We can use them right now.
We're breaching. Mr. Assist slashed an aquatoid standing in the way, then yet another one. Mr. Recognition is now packing sonic.
Always good to try out a new gun. One shot, one kill.
The layout of the USO is kinda... you know. Mr. Hare and Mr. Princess are in grave danger, because if Mr. Hare doesn't stop the aquatoid, it will blast them both with its blasta rifle.
Mr. Hare was hit, but was okay-ish. Mr. Princess skewered the aquatoid with a wakizashi, then smothered his colleague in Monster Jell-O.
The last two aquatoids were hiding in the cockpit (hah!), where we've blasted them with our loudest
WOAH WOAH!. No alien can withstand the overwhelming power of Bon Jovi.
Despite us taking over the USO, we haven't recovered much aqua plastics. Not sure if UFO construction was meant to be recoverable. Ion beam accelerators will be very useful for research AND for the future of T'leth arc.
We've shot down something huge over Nigeria, and it was full of chtonites. Is this a terror ship?
Oh yes, it is. There are silacoids crawling around, which I don't like. Those bastard rock guys are very hard to kill with anything other than explosives. Alloy ammo can wound them, even if just barely.
We gotta be extra careful with silacoids around. There's a lot of fire thanks to them, and they sure as hell can make much more.
I'm turtling very hard around here. I know it's just chtonites, but plasma is plasma, and terror ships are huge. Destroying a silacoid takes way longer than a single turn, but at least they bleed.
That's a one way to deal with incredibly tough enemies - incredible amount of laser.
Mr. Legal got sniped from across the map by a chtonite, then we sniped a chtonite from across the map.
Now, I haven't been documenting this mission too well, but nothing very exciting is going on. We're exploring the inside of the ship with a tank, and some enemies are panicking.
Double window and door trickshot, courtesy of Ms. Pies. She's either that good, or her gun is that good. I think it's the gun, guys.
There's a chtonite leader inside. We'll get him, then see just how much this ship was worth.
Not worth enough! Ms. Essay was one of the better soldiers, if I remember correctly. Mr. Cyclamen got in and destroyed the chtonite leader for what it's done. There is still a panicking navigator left somewhere on the map.
Oh god, the navigator is still holding a gun. There goes Mr. Cyclamen.
Wasn't worth it. I doubt we'll get anything useful from a silacoid corpse, but I won't be mad if I'm wrong.
According to a chtonite medic, reptilians are among us, and they are already controlling the market, among other things. They're not actually aliens; rather deep one relatives I guess. We had furries, so I guess scalies deserve some representation too.
Oh right, it's Thunderstorm not Firestorm. It doesn't have cannon slots, so every missile has to count. Electronic slots are for... targetting systems and such? Maybe?
That freed 30 scientists that we can put into researching a silacoid corpse and UFO construction.
Sectoid leaders know their tech, apparently. I refuse to understand anything about electronics or computers, so I'll leave it all to our eggheads.
Alien electronics is a very limited resource. No selling.
We can now research a psi-lab, which we will do. Psi-ops, here we go!
Good ol' vanilla floater. Fielding regular, unmodified floaters would probably bee more efficient when it comes to time and resources than modifying every single clone. The aliens should have me in charge of the invasion, not the brain on Mars. I shouldn't be saying that, should I?
Damn chtonites are salty about the lost terror ship, so they sent another one to Cairo. It's night, a bda time to deal with aliens, however there is something about this particular terror mission that will make it bearable - silacoids and their fire trails. Electro-flares are almost redundant in this scenario.
We shouldn't hurry, because we won't save people anyway. Our new drone replacing Pawnshop is called Hunger, and he hungers for alien blood.
After slaughtering all civilians, the chtonites started targetting the Guyranger. Ultimate Birdvig and Mr. Gnome peeked out from behind the plane and saved everyone.
Why are those things so hard to kill? I know, they're made of rock, but come on, they're swarming out here and I'm not, I repeat, I'm not moving out from the plane.
110 base laser damage can easily melt 50 armor with no resistance. That saves us some shooting.
Heavy plasma alien killed by Ultimate Birdvig, Mr. Trade Wind sniped another one, and Ms. Gnelf CAWSed a silacoid.
Then we got 'naded, but the door was closed. Suck it, chtonites, I'm not having any of that.
Can we boldly go where all men were afraid to go before? Not like we've got any choice, because to kill a chtonite hiding in the smoke we had to expend too many TUs to get back. Hunger and Mr. Platelet couldn't hit, but Mr. Polish hit with his UAC rocket launcher.
The chtonite Mr. Polish is standing on is a leader, so we should probably heal it and take it home.
Two more silacoids gone thanks to immense amount of bullets.
I love it when medics go berserk. It blasted itself with its stun launcher and fell asleep without our intervention.
We're taking a silacoid home if everything goes well.
We're moving into the train depot. A chtonite with a plasma pistol wanted to blast Mr. Trade Wind. The soldier pulled out a sword and killed the alien.
I can't believe it, but we've finished a night-time terror mission without anyone getting killed or even seriously hurt. We've captured two medics that stunned themselves, and a silacoid. Mr. Gnome got a whopping 6 point accurcy increase.
Spitters are terror units of the anthropods. Just like their masters, they are the weakest of their kind, and only benefit from their unusual damage type - chemical. Anthropods have no psychic powers, or maybe they expend it all on controlling spitters? We haven't seen those two species together though... Maybe I'm thinking about it too hard.
UFOs aren't all that complicated, it's just that things they are made of are complicated. Even with this knowledge we can't exactly make our own UFOs, but hover tanks are a different matter. In vanilla, hover tanks can only be equipped with plasma cannons and blaster bomb launchers, but here we can make laser and rocket hover tanks, which is really swell, considering I want to shut down a sectoid base.
A scout UFO shot down over Mozambique. It's manned by a red-caped floater I want to capture.
One improved dart and the alien is down. I don't know how they survive faling from any height, but it's good for us so I don't complain. It was a simple soldier, which means legionnaires aren't basic floater units. That's good news.
Butterstorm, the Thunderstorm of Paula Deen HQ goes on its first mission - shooting down a supply ship. Unfortunately six avalanche missiles weren't quite enough to do the job. A Raven armed with alloy cannons could do it, but the upgraded one couldn't, let that sink in. I guess we should wait for firestorms before upgrading interceptors.
Jarheads, huh? We haven't seen the actual things, only their ninja forms. According to the combat analysis, they're vulnerable to kinetic damage, meaning that we should be fine damage-wise.
We've landed near a run-down warehouse in Caracas, Venezuela. The soldiers waited a turn before scrambling out of the Saucemarshall. Fucking Donkeys really do need more combat experience.
First jarhead spotted by Ms Discrimination. When you think about it, jarheads are kinda simillar to bio-drones from TFTD in that there is no reason to use human brains in their construction. Seriously, the aliens managed to mass-produce tasoths, artificial psychic supersoldiers, yet they can't just grow a brain in a vat.
Mercury, being a 2x2 unit, has very limited mobility on this map. Fortunately his infinite ammo allows us to reshape the battlefield as we please, making wide entrances and neutralizing obstacles.
That woman holding a pocket revolver isn't what she seems to be...
In just a single burst, Mr. Show has torn down the wall, the jarhead's disguise, and the jarhead's chassis. The one enemy from earlier seems to have disappeared somewhere, which is worrying, becasue their plasma blasts are much more dangerous than any weapon they could have in disguise.
Got it. I definitely remember them being much tougher when I last played... I was actually terrible at this game back then, so there's a possibility I wasn't even using alloy ammo because I didn't feel like manufacturing them.
There's been a lot of destroying walls in this mission. Ms. Road had to do make a new door with her light cannon to get to a jarhead unmasked by Ms. Discrimination.
Another case of environmental destruction. Mercury discovered a disguised jarhead by trying to make a way for himself, then he zapped it so hard it got vaporized with its disguise.
Two more. To think back then I was afraid to engage them without laser miniguns.
We might have found the factory. It was guarded by two jarheads. No doubt there's more inside.
Here it is, the lab. We can't get inside because Ms. Octavo has destroyed the stairs.
Jarhead pretenders count as two enemies for kill-count, because as far as the game is concerned, they're separate entities from terrorists that emerges from them. We've captured one live terrorist, which was a part of the plan from the very start.
FUCK! We've moved all alien alloys we had to that base! No matter, we'll rebuild.
New Kitchen in Hawaii, namely on Kaua'i island. If the aliens come here too, we'll just pull the lever and let the lava in.
We're winning the war despite that minor setback. We're filthy rich even without USA's help.
Maintaining high temperature requires great amount of energy, so whatever silacoids eat must be very energetic. Acid and enzymes seem like a better way of digestion than fire, but what do I know?
This research was useless. Next is advanced rocket launcher and knockout grenade.
So it's called Calypso. It's free and has auto-doors, so I have no reason to complain. Shame we don't have diving suits for dogs though.
10 choke damage? A smoke grenade does more! Even a fire extinguisher is stronger in this matter. All right, maybe there is some hidden stat I don't know about.
The Cyberweb fortress assault is one of the missions I'm not doing right now. We don't have any Dimension X suitable armor, we're surrounded, and I didn't know there could be night in here.
Psi-lab, just what we needed. All labs will be equipped with one so we can train our psi-ops the right way.
Cyborg ninjas at it again. Jarheads need the money to rebuild their factory, and we need this money to rebuild The Kitchen. We've got new rivals, floks!
We're stopping a bnak robbery with a tank; a logistical nightmare, but with some effort we can make it work.
Mercury is in! The only thing that we achieved by that was destroying the tables.
We're in danger. Mr. Show and Ms. Go-kart are in range of the entire ninja arsenal.
Okay, that ninja passed out. This situation is much worse, though, because this ninja cyborg isn't even wounded.
However, it insisted on throwing knives at melee range, which didn't work out so well.
This time we didn't have to walk all the way to the corner of the map to do anything, so we got positive score.
I can't get out of this menu. God damnit, we should have sold the live ninja outright instead of hoping it would tell us about assassin clans. Or we can just build an alien containment in Ramsay HQ.