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Author Topic: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!  (Read 1895 times)

Ardent Debater

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gal!
« Reply #15 on: April 18, 2018, 08:45:54 pm »

Attempting stealth on a monster which such keen senses in its own lair would be suicidal, to say nothing of outright challenging it, and while gathering a mob is most likely to kill it, you'll gain none of the GLORY and innocent peasants would die in the struggle. Clearly, the correct course of action is to lay a trap at the mouth of the cave, and spring it when the beast least expects it.

Quote from:  Setting a trap for the dire wolf
1d10+2= 9 > 8
Cunning, (+2)

You spend the better part of the afternoon gathering large rocks and heavy logs, and piling them on top of the cave, only inches away from the mouth, so assembled that a single shove could send them all crashing down on anyone or anything attempting to leave the cave. It's an extremely simple affair, with no moving parts beyond common rocks and scrap wood, and no mechanism beyond your own strength, perfect for what you have in mind.

You stay awake, paying rapt attention to the woods around you and when the sun lowers below the horizon, you tense up. Little over an hour later, a timber wolf the size of a large grizzly bear meanders out, and while it takes its sweet time stretching, you act! Forcing your entire body against the pile, it rolls and tumbles off the edge, almost silent aside from the clatter of rolling wood and stone.

An instant later, you hear a loud thump followed by panicked yelping. Trusty club in hand, you slide off the cave and rush to the front, where you see the dire wolf up close and personal, crushed beneath a miniature mountain of rubble. Its growl and glare are hateful beyond what words can express, but its spine has been shattered and it is almost completely paralyzed. Even as monstrous as it is, it pains you to see it suffer, so you batter its forehead with your cudgel until you hear an ear-splitting crack and the wolf's eyes close. Looking at the body, it takes you a moment to realize,

You have slain the dire wolf of the woods!

"Huzzah! I have bested you foul beast, and now I'm going to-"

A) "move this rubble and skin you for your pelt!"
B) "crawl behind this rubble and pillage your lair!"
C) "take a dozen of your teeth to my village, to prove I killed you!"

Spoiler:  Sum Gai (click to show/hide)
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Glass

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #16 on: April 18, 2018, 08:52:09 pm »

A, then B, and then we can use the pelt in place of the teeth for part C.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #17 on: April 18, 2018, 08:53:45 pm »

A, then B, and then we can use the pelt in place of the teeth for part C.
+1 for porque no los tres.
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Glass

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #18 on: April 18, 2018, 08:54:53 pm »

A, then B, and then we can use the pelt in place of the teeth for part C.
+1 for porque no los tres.
你说什么?
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #19 on: April 18, 2018, 08:56:17 pm »

B
« Last Edit: April 18, 2018, 08:58:33 pm by Prophet »
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #20 on: April 18, 2018, 08:57:25 pm »

你说什么?
"why not the[implicitly, all] three?"
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Ardent Debater

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #21 on: April 18, 2018, 09:39:11 pm »

You'll move the rubble, skin the carcass, loot the cave, then bring its pelt back to your village to prove you slayed it.

Quote from:  Moving the rubble and skinning the dire wolf
1d10+1= 7 > 6
Martial, (+1)

1d10= 2 < 8

It takes you a full four hours to move the heavy rocks and logs from the trap off of the carcass, but to your despair, you find the hide has been punctured in a dozen places, drenched in blood, and torn open along the side. You're no woodsman, and even if you were, there'd be no salvaging this pelt. After cursing the incredible effectiveness of the innovative masterpiece that was your trap, you have to settle for the teeth.

Quote from:  Looting the cave
1d3= 2

There aren't any hidden legendary artifacts or piles of gleaming gold coins in the cave like you were hoping, but among the scattered bones and filth you find a few copper coins and pocket them, as their previous owners don't need them anymore.

2 Wealth gained!

Before you go, you take one last good look at the dead dire wolf and empty cave, and think, in a hundred years they'll come here and say 'This is where Sum Gai's adventures began!' You can't keep the smile off of your face and you're in such a good mood, you don't even bother.

Quote from:  Telling the tale of the dire wolf's demise
1d10+2= 7
Charm, (+1) Evidence, (+1)

When you return to the village, you've walked and worked so long it's the dead of night, so you stumble into a random house and fall asleep. An old man wakes you up and demands that you ask for permission to sleep under his roof, but when you show him the massive canines and tell the tale of how you slayed the beast, his scowl turns into a smile.

He insists on awakening the rest of the community and gathering them in the village center for you to repeat your tale, and their responses are similar. They take turns examining the teeth themselves and when they're satisfied it's real, they hail you as a hero of the community! They're only a tiny village, but your deeds have earned their respect, and it's a start.

2 Renown gained!

Now that you've slain the dire wolf and proven it to the community, what will you do?

A) Rest and recuperate in the village for a few days, subsisting on their generosity!
B) Travel to another nearby village, and see what can be done there!
C) You'll hunt down the bandit gang that's been harassing and robbing roadside travelers!
D) You'll go digging in the haunted crypt-ruin, put its spirits to rest, and unearth what there is to be found!

Spoiler:  Sum Gai (click to show/hide)
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Glass

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #22 on: April 18, 2018, 09:42:03 pm »

D.
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Quote from: FallacyOfUrist (on Discord, 11/15/21)
Glass is, as usual, correct.
Yep, as ever, I bestow upon Glass the expected +1
I'm gonna say we go with whatever Glass's idea is.

Prophet

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #23 on: April 18, 2018, 09:43:21 pm »

C
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

Maximum Spin

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #24 on: April 18, 2018, 09:54:03 pm »

D
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VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #25 on: April 18, 2018, 09:55:11 pm »

Sure lets rob some tombs!  I mean.. put spirits to rest.

D

Ardent Debater

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #26 on: April 18, 2018, 10:28:23 pm »

You can't rest now, not while the dead are still awake, and you have the power to put them to sleep! You'll travel to the crypt-ruin, banish the spirits to the next world, and pillage unearth whatever valuables they were buried with!

Getting there takes only a week's hiking through the woods, and once you feel a weight on your shoulders, you stop. The crypt-ruin lies before you, a century-old squat stone structure half-built into a hillside, to bury a few ancient long-dead nobles from some ancient long-dead kingdom. You're sure there've been grave robbers over the years, but from all the rumors you've heard about soul-eating ghosts, sword-wielding skeletons, and curses of everlasting sleep, you're sure there's plenty of treasure left inside. You'll have to be careful, that's for sure.

How do you want to go about robbing delving this tomb?

A) Forcefully, you're not scared of any ghosts and you'll tell them so while you take what you want from their grave!
B) Subtly, you'll slip in as quiet as a mouse, slide some tomb-gold into a sack, and slip right back out with them none the wiser.
C) Tactfully, you'll explain the ghost's predicament to them and try to ease them into passing on their own, then you loot the tomb.
D) Faithfully, you'll invoke whatever local deity of death comes to mind and try to banish them via religion, then you loot the tomb.

Spoiler:  Sum Gai (click to show/hide)
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Prophet

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #27 on: April 18, 2018, 11:04:06 pm »

D
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.... You've doomed us all. Granted. Everyone except for traps are executed. Random sci-fi nonsense is required to be taught in schools.
A cute intersex harem with everyone in love with the androgynous king and smart and useful enough into pushing the kingdom forward.

NRDL

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #28 on: April 19, 2018, 12:02:18 am »

Edited: C
« Last Edit: April 19, 2018, 01:07:55 am by NRDL »
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.

VoidSlayer

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Re: SPAMHERO, The Legend of Sum Gai!
« Reply #29 on: April 19, 2018, 12:26:27 am »

C Surely sword wielding skeletons will listen to reason.
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