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Author Topic: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"  (Read 303924 times)

dragdeler

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #345 on: September 29, 2019, 04:21:28 am »

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« Last Edit: November 23, 2020, 01:15:57 pm by dragdeler »
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Frumple

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #346 on: September 29, 2019, 08:21:20 am »

So, uh. What's your preferable alternative? I can think of some myself (most of which boils down to fund the fuck out of elder care and get doctors and/or social workers proactively instead of reactively involved also fucking pay our care workers bloody hell c'mon stop penny shitting some of the hardest care work in existence) but it'd take friggin' massively expanding how much we invest in elder care, to bankroll the extra people it would require and the duties they'd be dealing with.
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dragdeler

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #347 on: September 29, 2019, 09:44:37 am »

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« Last Edit: November 23, 2020, 01:16:03 pm by dragdeler »
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Magistrum

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #348 on: October 01, 2019, 09:08:29 pm »

That's more or less it except why stop at the elderly...
Clearly the solution is stopping elderly.
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Yoink

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #349 on: October 01, 2019, 09:25:29 pm »

Unrelated thought I had last night: there should be an emergency toilet paper delivery service.
This idea needs fleshing out, but basically you dial a number like "13 0SHIT", tell 'em a few basic details such as, uh, where you live and how many ply you want, and a driver speeds around to save your life and deliver the goods.

Also, there could be "TP Trucks" that drive along a route through the neighbourhood, kinda like an ice cream truck except it plays a goregrind cover of an ice cream jingle, or maybe just a series of brown notes.
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itisnotlogical

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #350 on: October 02, 2019, 04:05:47 am »

I wish Google (as in the virtual assistant) could have the voice and personality of Beemo from Adventure Time.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Random thoughts
« Reply #351 on: October 02, 2019, 04:40:47 am »

It is somewhat strange the way colonies of insects work, but I feel weird considering them a single organism, as almost all ecosystems behave similatly on some level.
Each colony can be called a supraorgsnism because selection happens at colony level. Like how the colony of cells that make up multicellular organisms is considered a unit because selection happens at the level of the colony.  With colonies of insects, the queens and drones are the gonads and the workers and soldiers are the somatic cells.

Isn’t it weird how you can have an argument with your brain as if it isn’t you but it totally is? Like when you get a thought and you don’t know why you get the thought so you think to yourself and it kinda manifests into a conversation with yourself? Does this make sense?
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Yoink

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #352 on: October 02, 2019, 06:17:32 am »

I should really set up my laptop already so I can kill time and play games without constantly draining my phone's battery.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #353 on: October 02, 2019, 06:48:31 am »

I got a solitaire app on my iPad, apparently hearing card sounds makes me smell that card smell
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scriver

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #354 on: October 02, 2019, 08:08:59 am »

Iirc the smell sense is often said to be the one closest to the memory bank, so to speak. Often when you revisit old places from your childhood it is the smell that hits you first and bring back all the memories.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #355 on: October 02, 2019, 08:20:21 am »

Interesting. I remember learning that smell was probably one of the first senses to evolve. That makes sense that memories would be tied there, the other senses came later but memories will help with any sense for remembering where food is, for example
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Iduno

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #356 on: October 02, 2019, 10:35:07 am »

That's more or less it except why stop at the elderly...
Clearly the solution is stopping elderly.

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Yoink

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #357 on: October 03, 2019, 07:13:21 pm »

Perhaps a good solution for the tyrannical overlord of a fantasy realm to deal with the ever-present threat of uppity peasants would be to offer/advertise a lucrative, state-subsidised adventuring career, targeted at those most dissatisfied with their lot. That way the most troublesome, bravest villagers would weed themselves out before their discontent could bloom into full-blown sedition and rebellion.
Much better than martyring them yourself later and simply throwing fuel on the fire!   

Give 'em a grab-bag of recycled starter equipment and send them on their way.
I imagine for starters you could actually put them to use dealing with various minor issues around your own kingdom, such as pest infestations or goblin raiding parties or fledgling cults. It wouldn't cost you anything, almighty ruler - adventurers tend to be happy to work for whatever coin they can scavenge along the way and from the bodies, as well as the strange metaphysical concept of "experience". At worst they'd be taking pay from whatever folks around your kingdom have these sorts of problems they'd like dealt with. Ideally they would be kept moving, occupied and on the verge of death - no time to get too big for their boots.   

Once they start getting on their feet and learning their way around a weapon, though, it'd be best to send them on their way before they start to smell a rat - no pun intended. Entrust with them a grand, all-important quest into some distant other land where they are sure to die, or at least become someone else's problem.
Or - or - I have an even better idea!   

An especially astute ruler could enter a partnership with some villain-or-other with a nearby underground lair! Or, if they don't have an existing dungeon, you could supply them with a permit to build one in a quiet corner of your mighty kingdom on the down-low.
In exchange for you supplying them with a steady supply of woefully underequipped and unprepared "heroes" (victims) perfect for use as monster chow, fertilizer or undead servants (depending on the flavour of villain we're dealing with, possibly all three or more), they agree to not cause trouble within your borders and to do away with all your little "problems" as they come marching fearlessly into the meatgrinder.   


Of course, if this part of the plan works, I imagine before long the flow of adventurous volunteers would start to dry up, regardless of their hot-headed tendencies, considering none of those before them ever came back. There are a variety of possible solutions to this issue.
Perhaps your majesty could hire a troupe of talented actors and press them into the role of seasoned adventurers, touring these rural hotbeds of rebellion to wow the townsfolk with their tales of daring and glory, triumph and titillation? I'm sure many an impressionable young nobody could be lured away from their life of drudgery with only the occasional insurrection to spice it up.

Of course, then you still have the issue that none of those who left these villages ever came back. Maybe that wouldn't seem so surprising, considering how wretched their early lives were to begin with, but still - I'm sure some would suspect something.
Perhaps, one could have the aforementioned actors drop a name here and there, mentioning whatever great deeds Joe Blob the dirt-farmer went onto once he put down his shovel and picked up a battleaxe? Such a story here and there could work, maybe.

Another option would be to have sleeper agents inside the towns, mingling innocently with the townsfolk until eventually accompanying a band of erstwhile adventurers on their journey into the unknown - only, of course, to be ultimately spared whatever fate befell the rest of those troublemakers in order to return and boast of their deeds and adventures back home.
Alternatively, I suppose there could be a sort of Adventurer's Guild with a fairly high fee to join, which is peopled mostly by paid actors - but those who legitimately join it are told (at least part of) the truth and given two choices: A, assist the Crown in keeping up its charade by going on some mock-adventures before returning home to tell the tale, or B, die in an even less glorious fashion than the rest of these chucklefucks.   


Perhaps the cheapest option, though, depending on the availability of magic in the kingdom, would be to enlist the services of a spellcaster (does your majesty have a court magician? If no, why not?) to imitate the dearly departed "adventurers" (or perhaps simply reanimate their corpses, if there was enough left to reanimate) and act out their brief return to their hometown - albeit with a few scars and a colder, more distant disposition after all they've been through - before departing again in search of further glory.


Of course, all these options probably get rather expensive and, sometimes, risky.
Perhaps the best recourse is to simply keep an eye on the provinces and, if a place seems to have gotten wise to the whole adventure scam, just wipe out the village and bring in cheap goblin labourers from a neighbouring kingdom to tend their fields.
Hell, if those goblins ever get sick of their lot in life somewhere down the track, you could even sic a future band of adventurers on 'em! It's a perfect cycle, really.




Thoughts? I think there was more to this idea last night that I have since forgotten, but that's the gist.
Honestly, I would love to see a game with some of these settings/themes. I know plenty of games do the "dungeon keeper" thing where you defend against waves of heroes, but what if you were actually in league with the nation sending these heroes, and they're actually dissidents who you are helpfully disposing of in exchange for various benefits such as being spared the attention of a real threat, such as the realm's actual army? :D

And then there's the whole "government subsidised adventuring thing that's really a scam to nip peasant uprisings in the bud" thing.
Also the specters of the victims of said scheme, returning home to assure their kin that all is well on their quests, or paid actors, or an Adventurer's Guild that actually coerces those foolish enough to pay its fees into helping with their plot or dying??
I definitely think there's something here!   
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Egan_BW

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #358 on: October 03, 2019, 07:22:15 pm »

Problem is, some fraction of the time a particularly tough and lucky band of peasant manages to survive, become experienced, become stronger than anything you could actually throw them at. High level adventurers level armies, kill gods. Doesn't matter how unlikely it is, if you throw enough peasants at a dungeon eventually someone will roll 50 consecutive twenties and become a deicidal monster. And then they'll start looking for problems to solve that are larger than some goblins in a pit, such as hey, an oppressive monarchy!
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Random thoughts - On the Origins of "I Could Eat A Horse"
« Reply #359 on: October 03, 2019, 07:26:14 pm »

Sounds like a very interesting game
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