"You forgot his enchanted gauntlets."
They blew my arm for a ring. At least propely take everyone's weapons.
(2)You get about halfway through this sentence before Freddie squashes your mouth, ending your tirade with a "hurk!"
"Listen you dense goatfucking generic authority figures, you've already got the Dagger of Illuminating Murder - she was one of the three those gobbo shites stole and which you folks just now recovered. I'll let you have Elektra on the condition that you treat her well and get her back to me as soon as possible, and realize that I will literally cross universes for these babies because they are the only things I'm psychologically capable of feeling love for. So don't fuck them up.
And yeah if you've got some super taboo porn or something I'll take it, it'll be useful for various purposes."
Yeah sure, you can have Elektra (Bright Judgement) for now, just be nice. Accept gross porn if they have it and begin plotting how to use it to disconcert my teammates.
Oh, I named all the knives by the way.
1 & 7: Betty and Veronica, Twin Knives. Supernaturally sharp. Not like "slice an atom" sharp. More like "highly effective dagger" sharp. Don't try prying doors open with them, but they'll cut pretty good. Betty is better at stabbing/piercing and Veronica is better at slicing/slashing. MISSING BOTH
2: Elektra, Blade of Bright Judgment: Very sharp and carries a lightning charm. Can discharge elecricity into a target 3-5 times before needing recharged. Will recharge one charge every two rest hours, or a full charge if attached to a power source. WILL BE MISSING
3: Mimsy, Knife of Spider Summon. A fragile knife. Best you don't actually swing it at someone, lest it shatter. But held in both hands, you can summon a variety of spiders to your location.
4: Carmen, Heat Knife. again, not an effective combat weapon, but useful for such things as combatting frostbite, making s'mores, getting that cup of coffee juuuuuust right.
5: Phoebe, Dagger of Illuminating Murder. While wielded, you can see in total darkness, and can shroud yourself in unnatural darkness. Alternatively, the dagger can emit a blinding light, aimed in the direction of your choosing. This dagger definitely likes to stab things. MISSING
6: Edith, Stiletto of Noisy Ancestors. This thing starts mumbling when drawn. The sound rises over time, up to the sound of dozens of irritable geriatrics in heated argument.
8: Cecilia, Juggler's Trick Knife. A knife with a variety of prestidigital effects. Nothing directly harmful. Fun at parties.
The deal is done. Hmm. (1) well, the porn you are supplied with is just ... disappointingly pedestrian. Well, there are still ways ...
Adjust my sits so I'm squishing the noisy bit. Does the tentacle taste good?
It does taste good. But something about it is off. The other tentacles smell more lively, really.
"I was okay with surrendering until this primate dared to threaten me, Heir! I guess trying to contact a representative is a good idea too."
Also avoid being bitten by dragon, if I can.
I mean, he's sitting right on top of you. But yeah, I'll make any attempts to bite you into an opposed roll.
"Alight, we surrender to go peacefully so long as we can contact those we work for and ask for a represantive and that we are unharmed."
I'm gonna go ahead and forget that this wasn't bolded. So basically everyone but his majesty has agreed to go along peacefully. So, now comes the matter of binding your beast.
...
Also, I remind you that Freddie has command words that you can use to get specific responses from him. Like a well trained dog would have, or better. maybe like a low intelligence infantryman.
Now, we all know how well Freddie listens to Rex, but he seems cordial enough with the rest of you.