Name: Ruairi Iudir
Appearance: Yeah, she's pretty much an average human. Just imagine any normal human appearance and superposition that over her character. Yep. Good job.
Position: Human Resources
You're currently stationed in EMBR’s, ah, human resources department. You’re not sure why everybody calls it that, given that most workers are definitely
inhuman, but you figure it’s probably in your best interests to play along. The corporate Overlords can get pretty touchy.
Right now, it looks like Niz’thur the Devourer is the “human” resource that needs managing. He rushes up to your desk, steam pouring from his many mouths, and demands to file a complaint.
Name: Jebbediah Loean
Appearance: Imagine the most generic person there is...like i dunno something like this guy https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/344513261574659983/f58ea74d16ca75ae8504c5770fbc5c44_400x400.jpeg
Position: I.T. Support For Cosmic Horrors
You're trying to fix a problem with the Banishment Department's eldernet router when your laptop is bombarded with several million emails from "shub-niggurath156@gmail.com." He's probably only impersonating that particular elder god, but your inbox is overflowing and his messages translate themselves into unholy runes when you try to block them with a spam filter.
Name: Dave. Yep, that's it.
Appearance: a human shaped void in space. Despite this fact, he would act like any other human would, and some think it's just some magic to fool people and horrors alike into being intimidated.
Position:Security guard in the paperwork reception area. Sometimes they throw tempers, after all.
EMBR uses shoggoths to fill most of their security positions, but it turns out that a living hole in reality was a scary enough prospect to net you a job. You're a little worried about what you've gotten yourself into, but you guess that the security team can use the relative intelligence you bring to the table.
You're doing your shift outside the latest incarnation of the Paperwork Reception Room when a literal tide of documents pours out, followed by some sort of gaseous entity. The shoggoth next to you (Bob, according to his nametag) begins twitching in confusion.
Name: Aaron Duane Augustin-Murphy
Appearance: Lean, medium height, dark hair, green eyes, race unclear. To all outward appearances humanoid under normal conditions. What about unusual circumstances? We'll have to see.
Position: Analyst
As an analyst, you are in the unfortunate position of receiving your share of the paperwork influx. Business reports, customer surveys, and accounting ledgers thicker than your head appear several feet above the surface of your desk. They disperse as they fall, covering every flat surface of your office in stray papers.
Name: Karlman
Appearance: A normal human in a horse costume. He occupies the front. As the back is empty it can't walk on all fours. Yet.
Position: Taking out the trash.
You’re making your usual rounds, collecting trash from the north-southerly wing of the building. The current load contains several tons of crumpled paper, which is a definite problem, but only a single liter of blood, which is both relieving and somewhat concerning. Either the cleanup guy is a couple hours late or some workers are going to be very hungry.
Name: Ide Alley Sum'at Pronounceable
Appearance: portly, balding, scaly red gentleman with a bowler cap and monacle, bulbous nose surrounded by whiskers, and a double tail.
Position: Viscera cleanup detail.
You’re just starting to vacuum up the mess created by the archons’ lunch break. Judging from the rough distribution of blood and severed limbs, it looks like today’s menu consisted of several pigs, live velociraptors, and one particularly unlucky intern. Maybe he didn’t bring their coffee fast enough?
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Topic: Roll to Ǫ̸̛ff͟i͢c҉̀ę̕: Paperwork in Five Dimensions (Read 8732 times)