Run TASKMAN.EXE
this should give us a chance to look at the background processes maybe?
Nothing listed in the task manager, other than the programs you've opened yourself. There could be an occult equivalent that shows additional, hidden processes, maybe?
Examine both ends of the taskbar with the scryglass.
> Attempt to move the Scryglass above the Start button. If the aforementioned action is possible, then click on the Start button or its Underdesktop equivalent.
Looks like it's actually a seal of some kind. The center runes read
ᛋᛖᚱᚹᛁᚾᛏ ᛫ ᚢᚠ ᛫ ᚦᛖ ᛫ ᚲᚱᚨᚹᛚᛇᛜ ᛫ ᚲᛖᚨᛋ.
As for the start button, you're not sure you want to click it until you know what it says. The runes read
ᚱᛖᛚᛖᛋ.
Make plans to head to the local purveyor of cheap Chinese plastic crap (Walmart). Pick up a cheap prepaid smartphone. You can get one for 30$. Install root and custom recovery, then make a nandroid backup. Store in a safe place. Install andosbox. (A fork of dosbox for android) install win98 on the dosbox virtual machine, then restore the backup there. Be sure to disk image the two utility disks we have available, and push them to the phone. With any luck, we can get a portable platform to banish undead and other useful things from.
Well, you already have a spare phone you use for development, it wouldn't be too much effort to set this up. Just a second...
There we go! You also make disk images of the two existing floppies that you can open from your portable device. You stash the infernal smart device away for possible later use.
This brings us to the ritual desktop.
First, we need something to sacrifice. Hunt around the office for a USB floppy drive, and some spare media. The lack of a real lpt or com ports on modern computers, coupled with the lack of USB on this ancient terror, and the likely "disposed of years ago" status of null modem or laplink cables means using FastLynx or Lap link to transfer files for sacrifice is going to be dicey without one. We can then use the floppy disks to get our sacrificial media on this hell spawned hardware. Assuming we have one in a drawer somewhere ( and failing that, express one day from amazon will get us what we need), use the normal computer we use every day to download some adorable cat pictures, motivational posters, and other "uplifting" tripe, push it to a floppy disk using the USB drive, then put them into the my documents folder.
As much as sacrificing kittens seems like a good idea, they are relatively worthless. We should try to sacrifice some more valuable/harder to obtain software.
Clearly we need a win98 port of battletoads.
Piracy is a thing right? Just put the .smc of a snes cart dump in there.
First, you acquire the appropriate adapter and some blank media. Connecting the floppy drive to a nearby laptop, you begin collecting files for the sacrifice.
Use the scryglass to put the my documents folder (filled with sacrificial kittens) in the center of the pentagram. Place the network neighborhood icon on the top point, and the other desktop icons on the other points. If you don't have enough icons to populate the ritual, add a shortcut to IE. It should be evil enough for our purposes.
Once you have done that, run the purple disk.
After placing all of your garbage files in the "My Documents" folder (along with a Battletoads ROM file, which you're sure will cause no unforeseen complications whatsoever), you arrange the ritual elements.
NO UNFORESEEN COMPLICATIONS WHATSOEVER
Torrent the necromicon!
Now that you have a Hieronet browser, maybe it's time you look for this. Or something else? It might be time to take stock of what you know so far.
44454233 453314151114 52244423 5354555554
It translates to "TURN UNDEAD WITH XYZZY"
accessing the hieronet is easy, even on the mortal plane!
1. complete the desktop summoning ritual to install the needed program
2. read up on some ancient symbols! hieroglyphs, runes, etc. will be necessary
3. find some hieronet urls. ask one of your skinwalker friends if they know any!
From: Michael Kisielewicz
Date: Friday, April 9, 1999 4:22 PM
To: Qalzsx'wa The Engorged
Subject: Project Status
Hail Qalzsx'wa,
Just shootin' ya an electronic mail, wondering how the whole Y2K project's coming along on your end. It's been a little difficult getting these messages across without the Hieronet router set up, so I was wondering if you heard back from the support team at Hells-Deathwell. See, we have to sacrifice a goat in the conference room every time we send one of these emails without a persistent Outer Realm connection, and the whole logistical side of shipping live animals to the office is getting a little tough to manage. So if you could get in touch with them that would be greeaat.
Thanks a bunch,
Michael
DO NOT BELIEVE THE TASKBAR'S LIES IT IMPRISONS HIM BUT NOT FOREVER
HE IS BELOW TO BANISH HIM YOU MUST SPEAK HIS MASTER'S NAME
f b c l a y a p
g a i h ==> t n o h
e k j d l e t r
~-= crakk-freekz.net =-~
torrent info: connect to hieronet url www.□□□□□□□□□□.sothoth
to download Necronomicon.pdf through your built-in torrent client
Sigil Tablet
Scryglass of X'tpylix
Hieronet Explorer
Floppy disk (XYZZY)
Floppy disk (
)
Floppy disk (backup)
Red dry erase marker
Win98 Phone
Floppy (blank)
Floppy USB adapter