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Author Topic: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars: Pretty Kitty Simulator  (Read 230937 times)

Radio Controlled

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #210 on: October 03, 2017, 10:18:08 am »

Materialism? German Neoclassical Rational Idealism is the only way forward! Or so I read in my grand-grand-grand-father's philosophical treatise. He was truly a great man, you know. Why are you asking?

Say, do you have a weapon I could borrow? Sure, killing enemies bare-handed is epic and all, but might be tad situational and inefficient. A melee one, of course, as befits a Man and a Hero.

Abu tried to comprehend what exactly that man had just answered. He wasn't sure what it meant, but it didn't sound like any of the example radical socialist answers they had given him, so that means... he passed?

Couldn't be too careful though, those marxists-leninists-trotskyists were all very tricksy! He'd have to go to step two of the commie identification guide.
"Maybe, but before all that, tell me: do you want to, or have you ever considered to, seize the beans of production?"
« Last Edit: October 03, 2017, 10:21:07 am by Radio Controlled »
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Quote from: you know who you are
21:26   <XYZ>: I know nothing about this, but I have strong opinions about it.
Fucking hell, you guys are worse than the demons.

Nikitian

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #211 on: October 03, 2017, 11:17:21 am »

"Maybe, but before all that, tell me: do you want to, or have you ever considered to, seize the beans of production?"

Ohhh, you mean, the Magic Beans? Sure I'd try to seize them if I had a chance, and climb the beanstalk to steal the golden goose and, more importantly, slay some giants! G-G-Giantslayer!

But no, I've never considered it before now. The Magic Beans seem to be lost in the sands of time, forever.

Maybe we could enchant ourselves some new ones? What do you think?
Kay pokes inquisitively at the armed soldier before him.
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Past Sigs
Nikitian kneels in front of his computer, fresh lamb's blood on his hands, and prays to the dark powers for answers about armor thickness.

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #212 on: October 03, 2017, 11:33:50 am »

"Maybe, but before all that, tell me: do you want to, or have you ever considered to, seize the beans of production?"

Ohhh, you mean, the Magic Beans? Sure I'd try to seize them if I had a chance, and climb the beanstalk to steal the golden goose and, more importantly, slay some giants! G-G-Giantslayer!

But no, I've never considered it before now. The Magic Beans seem to be lost in the sands of time, forever.

Maybe we could enchant ourselves some new ones? What do you think?
Kay pokes inquisitively at the armed soldier before him.
Ohhh, you mean, the Magic Beans? Sure I'd try to seize them if I had a chance, and climb the beanstalk to steal the golden goose and, more importantly, slay some giants! G-G-Giantslayer!
Sure I'd try to seize them

At hearing this, Abu's small mind went into high alert! Maybe this guy was a crypto communist after all!

Sure, he seemed nice enough, but that's how they trick you! Slowly poison your mind with their blight of the proletariat this and the evils of capitalism that, and before you know it you're standing in a breadline reading Bass Kapital! Clearly, Abu would be forced to break out the big guns, the kind of test no commie could lie to without bursting into righteous capitalist flame (or so Command had told them).

"Easy there buster, oooone more question: do you believe in the fundamental right of every man to own private pottery?"
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Quote from: you know who you are
21:26   <XYZ>: I know nothing about this, but I have strong opinions about it.
Fucking hell, you guys are worse than the demons.

Pancaek

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #213 on: October 03, 2017, 12:27:30 pm »

Sarge sidles over to Abu and private eyeballs, holding his new rifle with the barrel pointed towards the ground.

"Rifleman, these savages are probably even more cowardly than your average garden variety Charlie. Absolutely dis-gus-ting.

Say, why are you pointing your gun at private eyeballs, rifleman?"


He looks at private eyeballs, jaw set and eyes squinting.

"Is he one of them?"
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Nikitian

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #214 on: October 03, 2017, 12:43:54 pm »

"Easy there buster, oooone more question: do you believe in the fundamental right of every man to own private pottery?"

Hearing the last question, Kay suddenly straightened his shoulders and, looking fiercely, replied:

I strongly believe in the moral right of every man to his own private potty! No one should ever force you to share your potty with anyone else, and if they try, you are by all means ethically enabled to use force to keep your potty strictly your own!

It's simply unhygienic otherwise!
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Past Sigs
Nikitian kneels in front of his computer, fresh lamb's blood on his hands, and prays to the dark powers for answers about armor thickness.

Pancaek

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #215 on: October 03, 2017, 02:29:16 pm »

"Potty? Abu Hajaar! Have you been sleeping through your classes?! Take a step back, unfuck yourself, and then reapproach!"

He looks at Kay, eyes narrowed, and points at her with a knife hand.

"Allright, private eyeballs, answer this and don't give me any bullshit: I plant a bunch of carrots in my back yard. Once they're grown, I eat as many carrots as my stomach can handle. There's a bunch of carrots left, because I am a grade A gardener. I will collects these carrots and sell them to other people at a profit. Do you see anything wrong with that?"
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Egan_BW

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #216 on: October 03, 2017, 04:21:28 pm »

Heard distantly:
"Murphy you bastard, you have to share you carrots with our gang before you sell them! WE are all in this together, and if you're going to selfishly waste our resources for your own personal gain I'm going to personally kick you out of Roncal Roth!"
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Pancaek

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #217 on: October 03, 2017, 04:59:38 pm »

Murphy cocks his head and puts a hand to his ear, not taking his eyes off Kay.

"Do you hear something? I could swear I heard some socialist fuck attempting to seize the excellence of my gardening skills. They're so useless all they can do is run around flailing their arms and hope someone else does their work for them. Well, they ain't getting these grade-A American carrots, and I don't give a damn if that leaves them saltier than a jar full of pickled assholes.

Ignore the noises of mediocrity, private eyeballs, and focus on my question." 
« Last Edit: October 03, 2017, 05:10:32 pm by Pancaek »
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Radio Controlled

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #218 on: October 03, 2017, 05:08:17 pm »

"I think that was just the wind, sir."
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Quote from: you know who you are
21:26   <XYZ>: I know nothing about this, but I have strong opinions about it.
Fucking hell, you guys are worse than the demons.

Pancaek

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #219 on: October 03, 2017, 05:12:15 pm »

"Don't call me sir, I work for a living."]
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Nikitian

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #220 on: October 03, 2017, 05:19:56 pm »

(( Kay is a male. Not that it is immediately obvious from anything, I guess.))

Kay looks back at Murphy with eyes equally narrowed.

Whatever a gardener does with his carrots is beneath me; I am not one. If I need some carrots, I suppose I might buy them from a gardener - so yes, he will collect some profit - or I might take them by force, potentially leaving him hungry, if the situation is so inclined, such as him being evil or me being hungry and broke.

And since you guys have just killed several people and have already looted at least one of them, I don't think we're any different in this regard. There's a whole world beyond the petty matters of the class conflict of bourgeoisie and proletariat, and I aren't taking sides there. Come on, Raven's Roughnecks, Roncal-thol Rotheleaod alternatively, let's do our job already.


Kay impatiently stomps his leg, and outstretches a hand expectantly. Give me a weapon already, and let's raise hell!
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Past Sigs
Nikitian kneels in front of his computer, fresh lamb's blood on his hands, and prays to the dark powers for answers about armor thickness.

Pancaek

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #221 on: October 03, 2017, 05:25:43 pm »

"Abu Hajaar! Did this person look down on the Noble profession of Gardener and imply he would take my American carrots by force?"
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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #222 on: October 03, 2017, 05:33:03 pm »

"Don't call me sir, I work for a living."]
"Ah, right you are si-erm, sarge."

"Abu Hajaar! Did this person look down on the Noble profession of Gardener and imply he would take my American carrots by force?"

"Well he did say he'd take them if you were evil, so I guess that means he'd take them from a commie.

My socialist-sensors think he's still a little on the fence, but he seems eager to fight the reds here. That's gotta count for something, right?"
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Quote from: you know who you are
21:26   <XYZ>: I know nothing about this, but I have strong opinions about it.
Fucking hell, you guys are worse than the demons.

ATHATH

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #223 on: October 03, 2017, 05:37:07 pm »

This conversation is the best thing.
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Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
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*slow clap* Well ATHATH congratulations. You managed to give the MC a mental breakdown before we even finished the first arc.
I didn't even read it first, I just saw it was ATHATH and noped it. Now that I read it x3 to noping

Pancaek

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Re: Chalice: Wizard Gang Wars
« Reply #224 on: October 03, 2017, 05:39:11 pm »

"yeah, something. "

Sarge grabs the rifle he just looted, takes out the magazine and cycles the bolt. Double checking to make sure it's properly unloaded, he hands it to Kay, sans magazine.

"Here you go. You're not getting my little carrots though. I planted the bullet that sprouted these fine vegetables of death, but if you're going to insult the gardener you'll just have to farm your own."
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