Personal journal of Akituh, Snapping Turtle Man, wandering farmer:
This year has been a good year for us. And by us it is still just me and Urist, our travels have yet to yield any new companions. In decade and a half we have been wandering we have traveled to nearly every part of the continent and visited the majority of the settlements on it. Many would not "stoop to the level of housing flea ridden savages", so those were skipped. I understand that it is quite odd seeing a reptile as large as me, much less one who comes offering help in their farms, but it doesn't make their hostility towards us warranted! Even the more considerate hosts have accused Urist of being a demon just because he can speak an understandable language! Once we finish explaining our story to them they usually accept our help, warily. After all these years of living out in the wilderness I've learned a thing or two about plants, where to find them, and how to make growing them easier and more efficient. I charge for my services so we can make it between destinations comfortably, earning me the title of "Farming Mercenary" in the southern part of the continent. A few human hamlets have even tracked me down and begged me for my help. Urist can always draw a sizable crowd in the local drinking hall or tavern and earn us some good coin with his cheap parlor tricks. I don't know if them coming from a gray parrot makes them more entertaining, or if drunken idiots are just easily amazed. Speaking of which, I have recently been informed that coins have been dubbed "Crowns" by some dwarven bureaucrat or something. Currency is currency as far as I'm concerned, as long as they don't start sending tax collectors after us I don't much care.
With our thirst for adventure whetted we began thinking of settling down in a more permanent place. The notion of creating our own hamlet was immediately shot down, too many cocky fools have tried to hunt us for sport to make that an option. The last thing we needed was for someone to become convinced that we were wereanimals or something and destroy our town to burn us at the stake. News in the west was that the eastern dwarves were creating a new outpost far to the north, right next to my homelands! I had been meaning to check in with my family in the northern swamps for a while, so this seemed like a grand opportunity. We were also told that this new settlement "was looking past life's differences and accepting the lesser races as equals". In all my years wandering these lands I would have never thought that any place short of an elven forest retreat would have allowed such a thing. But last time we visited an elven forest retreat they attempted to cage Urist under their "at peace with nature" garbage. Other than their unhealthy love of nature I don't quite minde elves, but any people willing to wipe out an empire over a few trees is no friend of mine. With a lull in our adventurers spirit we started our journey east to the mountainhome funding this trip, hoping we could get there fast enough to secure a position in the starting seven.
A few days into the voyage we stopped under a nice, shady plum tree for lunch. Urist was still somewhat opposed to living up north, so he took this opportunity to berate me a little more. "Of all places why did you have to choose the tundra!? We could have stayed at that nice Pond Turtle Man town we just left and it would have been much better. It was warm, there was plenty of quinoa grain, there were some beautiful Pond Turtle Women for you and peach faced lovebirds for me (He said this with as much of a wink as his bird face could pull and a nudge with his wing). PLUS, they actually understood our plight! We had a nice roof over our heads in a town full of nice people and nice weather. Why this!?". All I could do was sit there and smirk, he LOVED quinoa grain. Living in a biome that couldn't support it would be hell for him. But I had to keep trying to explain to him why that wouldn't have worked. "The Pond Turtle Men are a pitiful people. Even worse than the elves with 'At peace with nature, lets enslave all of them and starve them into submission" shtick. No race that truly sided with us would believe that that is right. The dwarves aren't the pinnacle of animal lovers either, but neither am I. They know how to draw the line between the senseless destruction of nature and the senseless protection of nature. They've even let in a leech man for gods sake! They are such lovely people once you get past the blood drinking part. 'Tis a shame our swamp was too cold to support them in number. We had only a few families there when I left, but I'd so love to live along side another one. If they can live along side a sentient creature that subsides off of blood we'll be fine. And secondly, what would you know about romance, you're a gray parrot!". He gave a mock look of offence before starting another speech about how it was his duty to find me a nice reptile woman to have hatchlings with. "How long have we been companions now... 15 years? And 10 of those years I have spent trying to find you a nice reptile woman to have hatchlings with so we populate a nice swamp together..." I had heard these lines enough to cut him off without worry of missing some original content. "And how close have you gotten to finding me this mythical creature.". I stumped him with that one, which is a rare occasion because he has a far superior memory to most creatures. "well... let's see... I thought I was pretty close when I introduced you to Vohalo.". I had been stifling laughter since he started that was too much for me. I let forth a torrent of deep, booming laughter that probably could have been heard for miles. "Introduced me!? Vohalo!? The Cobra Woman who was hunting you for sport and who broke her fangs on my shell in an attempt to envenom me for later consumption!?". A genuine look of perplexity spread across Urist's face at that comment." Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me that that isn't how you reptile people show your affection to each other?". Another eruption of laughter exploded out of me, even louder than the last. After a few minutes I had calmed down enough to reply. "you have much to learn my friend. Kissing, which involves only lips and no biting, is a mammalian form of affection. The best reptile people can pull with our scales and shells is a heartfelt hug.". Urist put down the plum he was eating. "Whatever, I have an excuse, I'm neither. And enough stalling, I want some of our quinoa grain rations.". He hopped across my shoulder and dug the rope reed bag filled with quinoa grain out of my rope reed backpack. We both sat nibbling on our short lived southern delicacies for a few more minutes in silence, contemplating the future.
I finally broke the silence with a large grin at the memory my wandering mind had rediscovered. " I remember it like it was yesterday. I was wandering though the sweltering south western jungles in search of civilization only to almost have my eyes pecked out by a certain gray parrot trying to steal my food." "I only wanted the quinoa grain from you, it's exceedingly rare in my home and you happened to be carrying on you more than I've seen since I hatched." "And you kept following me after that in hopes you could get a jump on me again. Until eventually you decided you could milk more out of me as a companion. What's your deal with quinoa grain anyway.". He looked up from the bag with a look I've only seen from a mother defending their child in an argument after the child broke a rule. "What's your deal with rope reed! Everyone has favorites. It's gonna be tough for me to live without it seeing as how you can't grow it up there." I had learned enough about farming to know that there was some ways to, bend, the rules of farming. "Who knows, maybe we'll be able to convince the expedition leader to set up a green house for you and claim it'll better the fort." I said this with a good deal of sarcasm in my voice, as both of us knew that a greenhouse was a large project and a fantastic excuse would be need to create one. "I know how you feel, I don't know how I'll survive without running my hands through the rope weeds when I wake up in the morning. Oh, speaking of which, I made you a little special something to help you with the undesirable climate.". I pulled out a small rope weed cap lined with alpaca fur I had been hiding in my shell and presented it to him. "What..." his eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he got his talons on it. "You made me a custom cap and lined it with my favorite material!? Thank you so much! And what is this... an embroidered image of the two of us! Akituh. Where did you find the time to make such an amazing gift?" This is the most gracious I had seen him in a long time, it did my heart good knowing he wasn't faking it either. "I spent some of my personal coins, er... crowns, on the material and made it while you were out getting rejected by those peach face love birds you took fancy to.". He rolled his eyes at that one "yah, yah, I learned that most tropical birds only care about exotic plumage, not the stud beneath the feathers.". He pointed to himself with his foot at that one. I couldn't help myself "Don't worry Urist, I'm sure we can find you a nice seagull at the outpost!". He let out a squawk of mixed shock and disgust." I'd rather be with a literal rat with wings!". I leaned against the tree with contempt at such a well timed joke, only to look in the sky and realize how much time we had wasted. "Come on Urist, grain back in the bag, we gotta keep at a steady pace if we want to reach the mountainhome before the expedition leaves.". And with that we left on our way, with plenty of time to get to our destination and loiter before hand.
A few days later we stopped again in the late afternoon. "We should have reached the human checkpoint by now. Urist, give me that compass...hmm...map...okay, lets see...YOU IDIOT, YOU'VE BEEN LEADING US SOUTH INSTEAD OF NORTH, THE RED PART OF THE MAGNETITE NEEDLE POINTS NORTH!" Though I didn't raise my voice that much my speech had become gritty and my C's and T's were coming out more of a click that a syllable. To any of those who really know me, they would know that this was the equivalent of a sober elf tearing up a sapling and snapping it in rage. Urist took the hint and tried to calm me. "Come on Akituh, you know I mix up my colors some times (which was a lie, he could recite them flawlessly, he probably just 'bird watching' when I was explaining the compass to him) we can still make the first resupply caravan if we hurry!" He did his best to sound calm and encouraging, but it was obvious the failure was making him a nervous wreck. Anger is not something I dwell upon so I dropped it "...fine... but because of this we're gonna have to skip Mantis Man village you wanted to visit. Such noble creatures..." I started walking, this time in the right direction, before he could complain.
We have now arrived at the mountainhome, thankfully before the caravan's departure, and are waiting for approval from the nobles. I eagerly await, hoping to finally put my talents to a permanent use, and to see my family. Urist has passed out in the rented room to a pint of quinoa beer. Oh you foolish bird your parrot liver isn't meant to take such a brew.
Until we arrive:
Akituh, Snapping Turtle Man, wandering farmer, drunken parrot sitter
I just wanted to provide a more thorough background for my character. Anyone who wants to have their character's past intermingle with mind I would enjoy to see it. A lot can happen in 15 years of wandering the lands! Gluk, I look forward to working with you. And I feel like we could get some good lore going if someone decides to play as the cobra woman I mentioned. Finally, if it doesn't interfere with your story too much Monitor Lizard I would like to propose inviting Akituh's family over for a housewarming. They are only a days journey to the west, and would be interested in trade with a certain group of newcomers
.
Thanks!
Mottled Petrel
Poll
12 (100%)
Author
Topic: The Outpost: Illustrated Community Game (Read 65473 times)