I would firstly grow my leg back and launch a successful career in disco music some fifty years after the war. But until then, I shall collect cocks of the fallen.
Name: Franek Kimono
GLORY: 150 (50 own + 100 common) - 70 = 80
Physical: -2
Mental:
Life: -1
Stats:
Strength: +3
Dexterity: +1
Skills:
Hand to Hand: +3
Melee: +2
Exotic Melee: +2
Shotgun: +1
Camouflage: +1
Pistol: +1
Inventory:
1* Helmet
2* Fancy Hats
1* Gasmask
1 Ration
1 First Aid Pouch
1 Entrenching Tool (A folding shovel)
1 Clicker
1 L type Flashlight
1 Mirror
1 razor set
1 Pack of Chesterfield Cigarettes
1 Lighter
1 Mess kit
1 Knit cap
1 Notepad and Pen
1 Haversack
1 Gunbelt with Magazine pouches
1 Canteen and Cup
1 Compass
Winchester model 12 Shotgun (6 shot, 6 risk at close range, 2 at longer range)
15 shotgun shells
Trench Knife (risk 3)
A Handful of Reproduction
Big Bag O' Dicks
Thick Coat O' Dicks
[1]
Franek collects many dicks over the course of his continuing misadventures. However his hunger for dicks results in his downfall as his public exhibition entitled "Look at this literal swimming pool of dicks I have", ends with him falling in and drowning in cocks.
He was remembered with a giant phallic statue tombstone and a brass marker that read
"Here lies Franek Kimono, penis enthusiast, who died doing what he loved."
Keep fighting in the war, getting myself into a number of splapstick/romantic comedy highjinks along the way.
Go back to Brazil and kill Secret Baby Clone Hitler.
Run away with Alice (Or a busty German spy who defected for love) to live in a rustic cottage in the south of France, raising Secret Nicer Infant Clone Hitler (Who I treasonously smuggled out of Brazil, because he seemed nice) in the hopes he won’t turn out evil.
Go have a nice, long life where nobody shoots at me. If someone does shoot at me, shoot back.
Name: Alice Gwerhierhwaer
Description: Short blue dyed hair, shiny orange eyes. Tallish, and not thin. Hairy.
Physical: +0
Mental: +0
Life: -1
Stats:
Speed 1
Dexterity 2
Will 1
Knowledge 1
Senses 1
Skills:
Plane 3
Operator 2
Mechanic 2
Melee 1
Pistol 1
First Aid 1
GLORY: 480
Inventory:
Fancy Hat
First Aid Pouch (Allows First Aid)
Entrenching Tool (A folding shovel)
Ration (Restores up to -2 on physical dice)
Mechanic’s tools
Flare Gun (1 shot, risk 2)
Knife (Risk 2)
Silenced pistol (2 risk normally, but 8 if unnoticed. Does not draw attention by sound. 8/8 shot)
Gas mask
2 pistol magazines
Joan's Radio
Binoculars
Police baton
Coffee maker
Some dude's diary
Carolina and Alice elope sometime in the late 50's, disappearing into the countryside of rural France. Some say they are out there to this day, making baguettes at a little pastry shop. Others say that Alice eventually got tired of the idllyic life and started doing Columbian drug running in a crop duster. We may never know.
I am already a radio. What other goals or desires could I possibly have?
Just do my part in the war I suppose, then retire to go run that tabloid magazine with Ed.
Name: Radioman
Description: A radioman.
Physical: 0
Mental: 0
Life: 0
480 GLORY
Stats:
Strength: 0
Speed: 2
Dexterity: 2
Will: 0
Knowledge: 0
Senses: 1
Skills:
Operator: +3
Rifle: +2
Camouflage: +2
Mechanic: +1
Melee: +1
Language: +1
Inventory:
1 First Aid Pouch (Allows First Aid. Single use)
1 Entrenching Tool (A folding shovel)
1 Ration (Restores up to -2 on physical dice)
1 Clicker
1 L type Flashlight
1 Sewing kit
1 Mirror
1 razor set
1 Bar of soap
1 Toothpaste and toothbrush set
1 compressed TP roll
1 Pack of Chesterfield Cigarettes
13 individual cigs
1 Lighter
1 Mess kit
1 Knit cap
1 Notepad and Pen
1 Haversack
1 Gunbelt with Magazine pouches
1 Canteen and Cup
1 Compass
1 grenade
1 blowtorch
flyzapper gun (risk: ??)
trench knife (risk-3)
[4]
Ed and Radio become the first "Shock Jocks", performing high energy, and highly questionable radio broadcasts shortly after the end of the war. They never reach grand levels of fame but they are highly influential in their own way and inspire a generation of similar gossip mongers and misinformation salesmen before they both vanish into the Antarctic on a quest to get nude pictures of the yeti.
Epilogue: Denver will atttempt to stay in the 888th, move into spec ops, or just go mercenary.
Name: Denver Gaunt
Description: Denver Gaunt is an average man of average build from New York. His family ran a small bakery, but Denver was disenchanted with the working class life and took up boxing. After joining up into the army, he discovered a newfound love of war and was quite overeager, eventually being transferred into the 888th for insubordination after several men were killed due to his rashness.
Physical: 0
Mental: 0
Life: -1
Stats:
Speed +1
Dexterity +1
Will +1
Senses +2
Skills:
Melee +3
First Aid +2
Camouflage +2
Traps +1
SMG +1
Operator +1
Medals:
Beserker Medal
Inventory:
Helmet
First Aid Kit (extra)
SCR 300 Radio Transceiver and Handset
Thompson SMG (25/25, Risk 2+1 for every five rounds in
burst )
Spare Magazine [25/25]
German SMG, 15 bullets
Binoculars
Flares (Red, Green, Black, Blue, and Yellow smoke)
Flare Gun
Trench Knife (Risk 3)
Smoke Grenade
Universal Kit
GLORY: 100
Achievements:
Killed a few nazis pre train arrival, helped clear the first engine
Served as backup camera.
[1]
Denver vanishes on the next mission. His ultimate fate is still unknown.
Awwww, I stop watching 888th for two weeks, and it dies on me. I feel so guilty. ;-;
Well. Simon is a bloodthirsty bastard who loves violence, and firmly believes he's literally immortal, due to some combination of luck, destiny, and skill. He'd be pissed off at the war ending, because it means he can't keep killing people, so he'd get out of the military in some manner and try to find some other war to fight in, and would probably continue doing that until he dies. When he can't fight in a war, he'll find some other occupation that lets him kill people, like being an assassin or something. It might also be relevant to mention that Simon is fairly intelligent, it's just not generally apparent due to his happily irreverant attitude. And... y'know, his generally psychotic actions.
This is a little selfish, but for awhile me and the IRC crew have joked about how Simon is the same character I was playing in a dfferent forum game, just a good eighty years younger. That character was a very old schizophrenic man, who claimed to have been in virtually every war since WWII, and presumably had some brand of weak immortality. I'll... be happy if that isn't rendered completely impossible.
Name: Simon Smith
Description: A short and somewhat stocky man with
a thick beard and a bulky gasmask. His looks are deceptive, as he's actually quite agile. He has ten firearms chained to him, along with an assortment of knives, grenades, and a sniper rifle he's always carrying around.
Physical: +0
Mental: +0
Life: +0
Stats: Strength: +1
Dexterity:+2
Sense:+2
Medals:Berserker: You cannot be injured on turns where you kill an enemy with a melee weapon.
Skills: Sniper Rifle:+3
Camouflage:+3
Melee:+3
First Aid:+1
Traps:+1
Demolitions:+1
Class Inventory: - First Aid Pouch (Allows First Aid)
- Entrenching Tool (A folding shovel)
- Ration (Restores up to -2 on physical dice)
- A bunch of useful bits and bobs
- Scoped Springfield M1903 A4 [0/5] (5 shot, risk 5 at long range, risk 3 at medium, risk 2 at close, Sniper Rifle) (JAMMED)
- 0/2 spare Springfield "magazines"
- Binoculars
- Spare Scope (Mounted on Gewehr)
- 2/2 Smoke grenades
- A "mag" of incendiary rounds for the Springfield (loaded in spare Springfield)
- Scoped De Lisle carbine [11/11] (silent, Sniper Rifle) (loaded with incendiaries)
- A mag of incendiary ammo for the De Lisle (loaded)
- Trench Knife (Risk 3, melee)
- Gas mask (Not worn, but ready)
- 3/3 CS gas grenades.
Helmet (+1 Life)
- Enough paint to cover Isabella.
Looted Inventory:- Two spare First Aid Kits.
- MG 15 [75/75] (Machine Gun)
- A spare box of ammo for the MG 15.
- Scoped Gewehr 43 [10/10] (Risk 3, Sniper Rifle)
- Two Gewehr Magazines
- Four Mauser C96s [10/10]*4 (Risk 2, Pistol)
- Four Mauser C96 mags
- MP 40 [32/32] (Risk 2, SMG)
- Angular Nazi Lightning Rifle [10/10] (Risk 4, hopefully silent, Rifle)
- A spare Springfield M1903 A4 [5/5] (Sniper Rifle)
- Three spare Springfield "magazines"
- Six spare knives (risk 2, melee)
- A collection of "Chains, rope, small knives, and other things" looted from a Nazi supply depot.
- Five grenades (Risk 7?)
- Handaxe, looted off the side of a german tank. (Risk 2, melee)
- A copy of a German tanker's diary, perfectly translated into Latin.
- "Isabella Hate-Tread", a A FRIGGING PANZER IV TANK!
GLORY: 230!Mission achievements:
- Supplied the tank which destroyed both enemy tanks, killed many infantry, and provided a, uh, "method" of "boarding" the train.
- Came up with the GENIUS plan to
get all his allies killed so that he could hoard all the GLORY jump from a moving tank onto a moving train in order to hijack said train.
- Managed to not only stay on top of the tank while it fired a cannon shell point blank into the ground underneath him, but also managed to snipe a Nazi machine gunner, through a firing slit, while standing atop the slaloming and exploding tank. Then he screwed up his jump to the train and ate dirt....
- "You spit some blood and rise up onto one knee, shouldering your rifle and looking through the sight with the eye that isn't already swelling shut. You sight in on the periscope or whatever it is that they're using to aim the main cannon and put a round straight through it, despite the range, the movement, and the fact that you're pretty sure your arm is broken." ((This apparently disabled the cannon, because it never fired on anyone.))
- Actually managed to heal himself up completely from the above injuries.
- Killed six Nazis at the switching station with his rifle, plus scored several wounding hits, distracting them from Franek and the incoming hijacked train.
- Saved Franek by dragging him into the tank, so that he wasn't left alone in a base full of angry Nazis.
- Probably supplied Ed with the paint used to disguise Isabella as a Nazi tank, since Simon's the only person who bought paint.
- Managed to shoot down a Nazi fighter, with Isabella's (bent) cannon. Nobody else managed to seriously damage any of the planes either, and they fled immediately afterward, so Simon chooses to believe they were fleeing from him.
- Emptied a De Lisle mag into advancing Nazi forces after Isabella had been shot with a panzerfaust, probably killing a good number since he critted. The Nazis then began retreating, though that was probably more due to everyone else also killing lots of Nazis, and also Radio ridiculing them.
"Damn, I'd call you a pussy, but I've never seen anything so brave before."
"...You're gay?"
"Stay away from Isabella."
*whispered to a soldier next to him* "It's just a phase, he'll grow out of it soon. Or it'll rot off, either way."
"If I knew you'd do this I would've ran over your head, too."
"Why only little ones?"
"Why only big ones?"
*whispered to a soldier next to him* "So, should I put him down?"
"Hahaha, compensating for som--oh, wait. Fuck, this is my fault, I'm so sorry man! I had no idea you'd react this badly!"
"Huh."
"I heard that they taste like bacon if you cook 'em."
"Jesus... when you said you'd find armor manlier than my 'guns and chains' get up, I really didn't believe you. Here's your pack of cigs, damn impressive."
"Meh. My guns are bigger."
"You should've sewn them together with the lips, it'd be an even better insult to the fuckers!"
"Peacocking?"
"Depriving the germans of their primary food source, I see."
"...Dazzle camo? It'd prolly work better with tits."
"...So what'll happen if I run over your arms?"
*whispered to a soldier next to him* "That's Franek, he's top dog around here. Don't fuck with him, he'll... well, just don't fuck with him, for your own good."
"Ugh, I tried that once. Turns out, ladies actually hate sexy-porcupine outfits."
*rolls eyes* "It's not badass when you didn't actually score the kills. Like eight of those are mine!"
"Genius! You should make more of those and sell them! We could make it our new uniform--and motto! 'The 888th Brigade: Dicks!' Hahaha, yeah, I like the sound of that!"
"Oh, clever! Now the Nazis won't shoot you, 'cause you'll remind them of their wives!"
"You'll be lucky if that armor lasts five minutes in a real fight."
[5]
Simon is a rare breed of man. Not too dumb to stop fighting, not to unskilled to do anything else, but a simple warmonger who loves nothing else but combat. He longs to continue to test himself against the infinite variety of the battlefield, forging himself in conquest. After the war ends Simon immediately seeks new wars, fighting as a soldier for hire in every conflict he can find. Burma, Korea, Columbia, Afghanistan, Cuba, Lebanon, God knows how many places in Africa. If there was war, there was a good chance that Simon would be there. His path is hard to trace, his history now more legend and myth than truth. He is believed to still be somewhere in the world, now 80 at least and probably older. There are still sporadic reports of him, though if they are true or just the imaginings of other soldiers, no one has been able to confirm.