I happen to be a nonbinary male, among a LOOOOOOOT of cis-normative females, since I work in nursing.
It is not how I *IMAGINE* the conversations go down.
It is how I have *HEARD* them go down.
(Specifically, in their minds, they consider me to be "Gay", and so "Safe to talk around"-- and likewise, they dont have any trans-people around, so they let that shit all hang out. When I say this is how I have heard it go down, I mean this is how I have heard it go down, MANY MANY MANY TIMES.)
The "I think they need to not use my restroom!!" nonsense, stems from the underlying false presumption of "THAT IS A MAN IN WOMAN'S CLOTHES!". They hold that notion for a number of reasons.
Mostly, it is because they are an artifact of a generation where toxic masculinity and hyper femininity were the norms. The absurdist view that "Women like to go shoe shopping" and all that shit, rather than the more realistic "Women go shopping, but more often than not, are not there to have fun, but rather to get the shit they need and get out, just like everyone else." etc.
Likewise, with the world view that "Men only care about getting their dicks wet", et al.
Those toxic preconditions, create the foundation for the "Transgender != "Actual" Gender!!" histrionics. Again, it is because they believe that the only real and legitimate reason a man would wear women's clothes, (as they put it), is either because he is gay-- (and thus still a man)-- Or because he is a pervert freakazoid that thinks he can sneak into a woman's bathroom and not be noticed. (again, still a man.)
At no point in their mental process, does "The transwoman is a woman, and has always been a woman in every way that actually matters" find its way in. Again, because in the backdrop of their mind, "Has a penis" == "Wants to put it in my hole." (Unless he is Gay.)
[This complete, stark, black-white binary worldview about gender is at fault for not only my being painted with the gay brush all the goddamn time--- I am NOT gay!--- But also is responsible for Trans people being painted with the "SEXUAL PREDATOR!!!" brush. Trans people are NOT sexual predators! ]
For clarity, it is NOT that they think "I just don't think that they should have the same status in society", as you put it. It is because they view trans people as "chester the child molester", or "Creepy rapeface bastard." EG, people they think should be locked up, not out on the prowl, where "They can hurt people." This is because in their heads, that kind of thing is the only thing that makes sense to them. You will not get them to change, and those people have **REAL** political power.
See also, what JUST WENT DOWN in Tennessee. Those people acted on their irrational fears, (because it is what they felt they HAD to do to protect themselves from the scary, evil trans people, who are obviously dirty rapists who want to get in women's bathrooms!), and now the battle there is significantly harder.
Again, the MAJORITY of the people who hold these kinds of views, are in the Boomer and Gen X demographics-- MOSTLY in the boomer demographic. They are artifacts of when that really was the case. (or at least, was the case sufficiently in the workplace to be a real concern) See also, all the bullshit that used to happen in work places with slapped asses, sexual harrassment, etc. You cannot really blame them for having these fears. They come from a life experience where that shit happened, and that lifetime of negative experience is not going to be shut down by anything but an act of god, or their deaths. When I am imploring you to try an "understand them", ^THIS is what I mean by that. Understand that they are products of an era that reveled in slapping asses, harassing women into having sex, and otherwise subjugated women in very real, and very negative ways. As such, as products of that environment, they have certain views about their safety and protection, that do not make sense anymore, but that they really and truly cannot just get over.
This is again, why I keep asking these questions:
Are the boomers still alive?
Do they still factor majorly in the political trajectory of the nation?
Those questions are central here, because you are not going to make somebody that has irrational fears stop having them, and certainly not by railroading shit over the top of them.
Since those two things have NOT YET COME TO CHANGE--- The time for "THE BIG PUSH!!!!!" has not yet come.
Pushing that way too soon, produces a new generation that considers trans and gay people to be offensively demanding, pushy, and unrealistic. Why? Because their mommies and daddies railed about them, and there was a sufficiently loud and obnoxious media blitz about such, because their mommies and daddies rail about it. (Because the media is out for maximum shock factor, because that is what sells.)
Once that mental image is made, it is VERY hard to get it UNMADE.
Since the boomers are not dead yet, and they react hyperbombastically to trans people using the fucking bathroom they want to use, the media eats that shit up, and inflames that shit like gasoline on a forest fire. Fighting against that media coverage (through the courts), is only going to create the secondary toxic world view in the replacement generation, and you are going to POSTPONE the changeover. NOT HASTEN IT.
Sure, you might win being able to use the bathroom you want, but it is going to smoulder and always be a tense experience, because the other women in that bathroom, do not want you in there. Because you screwed the pooch, and forced it through too soon.
As for suffragettes-- NO-- They acted in the way they VIEWED men as acting. NOTE-- They acted as TOXIC AS POSSIBLE. (because that is how they viewed men.)
Again, "Man == Toxic man"
It was not true then, it is not true now. Men rebuffed such caricatures as nonsense, and the anti-suffragistst ate that shit up, and played on those feelings of it being nonsense, to paint suffrage as nonsense. It did not actually help the cause. What DID help the cause, were all the many multitudes more women, who simply demonstrated through example, that they were not at all stupid, silly, or nonsensical, and that they could be trusted with the vote.
It is true that at that time, the "culturally idealized" man was a toxic man. But the reality is that just like most women are not barbie(tm) (an idealized toxic woman), most men then were not Cassinova(tm), nor were they "Mr Macho, who makes all the women swoon, and gets endless poontang, while being publicly intoxicated, smoking, and cursing loudly without consequences."
The ideal conception of men has THANKFUCKINGGOD moved away from that shit.
However, the generational handoff has not completed; The boomers refuse to die.
That's why you still see toxic male-dominated ads for OldSpice, DosEquis beer, and Axe body spray-- and also why you get bullshit beauty ads with unhealthy and unrealistic expectations of beauty in them. People who still adhere to those outmoded and toxic as fucking
dzerzhinsk worldviews STILL SELL PRODUCT-- BECAUSE THERE IS STILL A SIGNIFICANT DEMOGRAPHIC.