Ok, thank you for the two responses, and im realizing I was unclear about what my actual concern is.
To answer both of you, no, my civ is totally still alive, It is not dead, there are other settlements, mine isnt even the largest, ive had liason come by regularly, same with caravans and migrants, last one about two seasons ago, then suddenly I have a guy become king. The having a king isnt what is bothering me, the -NOT- having a baron, champion, duke, count, or any of the other nobles is my problem, that i received a king is merely confusing, not itself the problem, im bummed that I did not get any of the things that come with that, or any of the previous nobles which themselves unlock various functions it sounds like. The problem is lacking all the other nobles, I have no champion slot, so I guess I cant train my dwarves, wiki says champion is the one who teaches/leads demonstrations. All I have access to is King, mayor, captain of the guard, militia commander, hammerer, manager, chief medical dwarf, broker, and bookkeeper. No baron, count, duke, champion, or general. Which according to the wiki, means I cannot train my military at all, champion is the one who leads demonstrations.
Edit: Civ is definitely still alive, i hit c and it shows up on the list, shows it has nobles (baron, the liason, a diplomat and a few others) living in other fortresses belonging to the civilization.
Still more Edits: Im sorry if this is confusing or particularly stupid, I barely know what im doing, operating mostly on "the wiki says do things in this order and these things will happen." and that has clearly broken down. Im worried ive done something wrong and that continuing to play is a waste, because I will not have various positions available.