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[NJW2000]

That is a good question, it's a very good question, it's a yuge question really, and the answer is I never touch the stuff. No, really. If it's brewed above ground, that means the elves, they're making it, or the humans. I mean, I know the humans, some of my best friends are humans, but they're beating us on trade. And if we drink their stuff, their cheap longland beer and swamp whiskey, then we're hurting our industry, we're hurting our dwarven brewers in the mountainhome, we're really leaving those guys behind. And I wanna build something beautiful, I really do, we're gonna build something great, and that means we can't leave anyone behind. So I only drink plump helmet wine, and other - erm - other underground products, other really fantastic stuff they make here in the mountainhome, and that's why. I mean, people say it takes up space for housing, but we don't like those kind of people, and besides, the elves are gonna pay for it. They're gonna pay for it in the future. They don't know it yet, but they're gonna pay for it.

[Urist McVoyager]

But sir, they're already paying for it. When we switch completely to underground products, we'll be cutting their trade out from under them.

Kind of hard for them to pay for it when they don't have any money left to start with.

[Asin]

That is a good question, it's a very good question, it's a yuge question really, and the answer is I never touch the stuff. No, really. If it's brewed above ground, that means the elves, they're making it, or the humans. I mean, I know the humans, some of my best friends are humans, but they're beating us on trade. And if we drink their stuff, their cheap longland beer and swamp whiskey, then we're hurting our industry, we're hurting our dwarven brewers in the mountainhome, we're really leaving those guys behind. And I wanna build something beautiful, I really do, we're gonna build something great, and that means we can't leave anyone behind. So I only drink plump helmet wine, and other - erm - other underground products, other really fantastic stuff they make here in the mountainhome, and that's why. I mean, people say it takes up space for housing, but we don't like those kind of people, and besides, the elves are gonna pay for it. They're gonna pay for it in the future. They don't know it yet, but they're gonna pay for it.

Ah. I prefer dwarven rum myself.

Thank you, Urist McTrump.

P.S. What about the catsplosion in Beerheart?

You gonna fix that or what?

Or the magma flood in Crescentcrown?

[Dozebôm Lolumzalìs]

Dwarven scientists are uncertain about this 'catsplosion.' No-one really knows.

[Urist McVoyager]

Mr. McTrump, what's your take on the allegations that the goblins supported your election because they secretly want the catsplosion to get out of hand and cause a tantrum spiral across all the fortresses?

[NJW2000]

Look, the catsplosion thing, it's just a theory, it's not confirmed. I mean, we don't know that they really exist, we just know that the mandates hurt us, and they don't hurt the elves. I mean, a lot of elven scholars have been pushing this "catsplosion" theory, when was the last time you saw an elf that complaining too many animals? I mean, I'm not going to make any mandates on catsplosions. I mean, I'm not saying that they've never happened, I'm not saying something isn't happening, but it's being exaggerated, really blown up. And we know who by.

 And I'm good friends with the goblins, it's true, because I have a high negotiator skill, a really high one, and I know they respect that. I know the goblins, I'm going to build a good relationship with the goblins, it's going to be a great thing, it really is. Because they're really great guys, the goblins, and I should know.

[Asin]

Is anyone gonna mention how Crescentcrown suffered a magma flood?!

Only 7 survivors!
Out of 78!

A tragedy, it was.

[Imic]

I do not support Trump, I get all of my animals from the elves. And wood, when I'm bored.