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[tonnot98]

My family has been through some shit recently. We've been through some legal scares, and my dad's on probation. We've been through a numerous amount of financial issues, and now we're in foreclosure. The only place we have to go is an already-crowded house owned by my increasingly-impatient grandparents. I've been going blind, and that's just the top of my multitude of health problems that constantly make my parents worry.

My mom and dad are broken from the stress of dealing with my health and adult issues. My brother is working near minimum wage, unable to support us while damning us for condemning him to stay in the house, saying that he can't move anywhere in life with us dragging him along. If he doesn't help pay the bills, we would've lost the house months ago and gone hungry. He now spends most of his pay that he keeps for himself on weed to deal with the stress. I still think he has been broken, since he is extremely irritable when he's not high, and is falling into a depression.

I consider myself an optimistic realist. I'll say what's probably gonna happen, and shoot for the best result. Currently, the best result would be for us to be forced into a crowded house, lose most of our privacy and property, and have me be doomed to either support my family or run away and attempt to support myself. I would hate myself for abandoning my family, since I love them so much, but staying with them would be nearly a life-in-prison sentence, like my brother so often compares it to. My family is so sad, and I'm mostly unable to do anything to help them, as most employers don't want anymore 16 year olds working for them.

No one is able to hold the stress anymore, and it's chipping away at me. I've got no good idea on what to do to help, and I'm unsure that even if I do attempt to help, it wouldn't do anything meaningful for us.

[eerr]

It sounds like your family is really unloading on your brother, you need to find a different outlet even if he is the one paying the bills.

[TheBiggerFish]

....
*hugs*

I really don't know what to say.

All the same, I'm here for moral support.

[Valtam]

This is possibly the first time I ever visit the Life Advice subforum, so I'll try my best to lend a hand.

You have been through some tough shit, no wonder why your viewpoint looks so grounded for a 16 year old. Kudos for that, although you might need to look at your strenghts and capabilities, of which you have mentioned none so far compared to your hardships, enough to break a regular person's back.

From a cursory glance, you seem to be good with language. Try looking for the online freelancing market, age isn't usually a concern there. [url]Freelancer.com[/url=https://www.freelancer.com/about] could be a good way to start, if there aren't available local options. Get into proofreading, or translation, something within those lines could be good to start supporting your household, even though is not going to get you out from there during the short term, and it's not an immediate bail.

If there is any other skill that you feel comfortable with, you should try to exploit that while your eyesight and health issues allows it. I assume that if you had a relative that could employ you to do small stuff, you would have done that already.
Do you have access to welfare, or a Lifeline of some sort?

It would be wise to think about what could be done if you were on your own, during the worst-case scenario that you briefly mentioned.

Stay strong and keep us infomed, pal.

[Infinityforce]

Hi friend.

I read what you're going through, it sucks and I'm sure it can't be easy. It takes great fortitude and strength to surmount our problems
No matter what you're going through, somebody loves you (whether that's Buddha, Jesus, or just your mom and dad), and that's something to be grateful for

I personally find great relief from life's woes by meditating: just being conscious and aware of my breathing and stream of consciousness and generally trying to be present in each moment, without being lost in the past or future.
There is no escaping from our destiny, but we can face it bravely.
There will always be a tomorrow, if we remain wakeful and watchful today.

I'd like to share this poem/song with you (listen to the music for the full effect):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVCkKAOUkmA
"Raised to be lowered" by Saul Williams
"...To manifest your dreams before you manifest your fears
To navigate beyond the treachery of self despair
To find the balance between all you sense and all you see
To find the patience and the strength it takes to let it be
To stand amongst the crowd and have the strength to hold your own
To throw away the pen and pad and simply be the poem
To rise above hatred to love through seeming contradiction
To seldom take a side and learn to compliment the friction
To bring about the change within that we can't live without
To shift and re-arrange ideals and learn to deal with doubt
To voice the victory and unlearn ways of self-defeat
To learn the value of, "Yo, fuck the words just ride the beat"
To leave the comfort zones of all you know to all you feel
To step beyond the void and realize the unknown is real
To re-imagine every obstacle as just means of honing craft and learn to laugh at failures funny dream"

edit:
Please, don't see people as broken.
Even broken things can be useful, repaired, mended, and still retains (some) functions.
Yes, life breaks us down. Each and every one of us, from presidents to poor. It is foretold in many religions that the world will go through immense tribulations and there will be "two against three in a house" and "no one will be able to avail (help) another, not even parents, friends etc."
We are capable of so much more than failure. We were made to be overcomers.

I'd also like to share a passage from a book with you, relating to faith, logic and knowledge. You may find it pretentious, but I find it very profound and touching nonetheless. When it comes to what we want to do in our lives, the people in our lives, and our future, we need to have faith, I believe.

You would insist upon the logic of the case before you can decide it . 
Have you been judge so long and have not yet found out that the only use of Logic is to rid Man of Logic and lead him to Faith which leads to Understanding?
Logic is immaturity weaving its nets of gossamer wherewith it aims to catch the behemoth of knowledge. 
When Logic comes of age it strangles itself in its nets and then becomes transmuted into Faith, which is the deeper knowledge.
Logic is a crutch for the cripple; but a burden for the swift of foot; and a greater burden still for the winged.
Logic is Faith in dotage. Faith is Logic come of age. 
When your logic comes of age, ..., as soon it shall, you would no longer speak of Logic.

For that, indeed, you must deny the self that is a plaything in the hands of Time and thus assert the Self which is immune to juggleries of Time.

(Can the denial of one self be the assertion of another?)

Aye, to deny the self is to assert the Self.  When one is dead to change, then one is born to changelessness. 
Most men live to die.  Happy are they who die to live.

(Yet dear is man’s identity to man.  How shall he sink in god and still be aware of his identity?)

Is it a loss for the brook to be lost in the Sea and thus be aware of itself as the Sea? 
For Man to lose his identity in God is but to lose his shadow and find the shadow-less essence of his being.

(How can Man , a creature of Time, be free of the clutches of Time? )

As Death shall deliver you from Death, and Life  shall release you from Life, so shall Time emancipate you from Time.
Man shall so weary of change that everything in him  shall yearn, and yearn  with un abating passion, for that which is mightier than change.
And surely he shall find it in himself.
Happy are they that yearn, for they are already upon the threshold of Freedom.

it's from the "book of mirdad", a philosophical novel written in 1948, and you can read it in it's entirety here:
http://www.baytallaah.com/bookspdf/163.pdf

[x2yzh9]

Well, I don't visit life advice much because I feel like I can't even trust my own advice. So just take this with a grain of salt on any assumptions i make, but...

It just seems to me like there's a lot of underlying problems. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone here but, everyone has problems and even in my family this has led my mother to the breaking point every single time and I don't know how she does it. I mean, if your feeling like a burden on your family; trust me I've been there. And yet, it too makes me want to run away. To be successful and support myself. I too have my own mental and physical problems. And I keep doing the same things-

   The same things that always land me in the same spot. Going through a massive psychosis. I take tons of medication to deal with it:and my problem is is that I get to feeling better and I stop it because, in my words, "I'm fine now, I'm not going through a psychosis and so I can stop the meds and smoke a bunch of weed again."

   That's what led me back into my second psychosis. Drugs, not even cannabis but abusing my prescriptions and just living life as is I'm just going through the motions. On your point, I don't know how this would help but...find a support group. Maybe a day program. Lord knows I've put an unbelievable amount of stress on my family as a result and it's like this to me:3 strikes, your out. This is my second and I have as perverse, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder among so many others that I hate being labeled. Then again, I preserver through it every time because of my family. I mean, your brother can't support your entire family IMHO. I can't even support myself honestly. This is my question and if you wanna PM me about it that's okay with me but what started all this? Do you think there was a point in time when all this started happening, or does it blur the lines when you try to think about that?

   The only reason I can say this is because there are many things in my life I've persevered through but never ever taken responsibility for. Or gotten closure on. See, I have my own problems too.

Just trying to help. Like I said take it with a grain of salt, because I'm not you, I can't read minds or any of that stuff. PM me if you wish. Thanks for taking time to read my advice, if and when you do.

[inteuniso]

Don't lose hope about the job, no matter how unlikely it is. If you want to work, chances are you will find one.

Sounds like a tough situation, but not a unique one: I worked minimum-wage jobs to help pull my business partner through the beginning stages of his business, before he starts making a steady income.

There's a lot of chemicals in the water supply and it's pervasive worldwide: your psychoses aren't going away, at least not for another few months-two years (graphene filters are coming down the pipeline, even if I myself have to shove them through)

Even if you can't find a job, just help around the house, doing whatever possible. We'll pull through this. 

[gimlet]

For starters, *hugs* for you and your family, 'cause you're in a tough spot.

But, nobody in any developed country should be in danger of "going hungry".  Go investigate all the social programs that should be helping you guys out - food stamps, utility payment assistance, disability payments, housing assistance, welfare, etc.   These programs are in place for people in tough situations JUST LIKE YOURS.  You may be reluctant to take this kind of help, either from pride or shame that it's neccesary, but my advice is to get over these feelings and get whatever help you can.  Plus the tedium and bureaucracy of dealing with all the paperwork, but grit your teeth, push through all that, and get all the aid you can.   Jump through all their stupid hoops.   Maybe one of the best things you can do for your family is be the one that overcomes his pride and stands in all the stupid lines and fills out all the piles of forms.

And no matter what eventually happens, remember people are tough and resilient and have survived bad times.  If you have to live in a crowded or less-than-ideal situation, do what you can to make it less painful for everybody.  Be kind, be loving, try to smooth things over.   Keep investigating training programs, find people who have gone through the hoops and find out what you need to do.   It might not seem so bad if you have some kind of prospects for the future, even if it's 2 years away that's better than never.   Even if there are more bumps along the way (and there will be, take them as they come and don't lose hope).

If you're already doing most of that then I apologize for the redundant advice, and am really sad that the system is failing you.  Keep talking to people who know the ropes and do what you can...

[Catmeat]

Blame america..
I do
Just realise that your family was living beyond their means, american dream and all.
Have fun being poor. It is the best experience to be poor in a first world country.
Dont make the same mistakes they have.
Never 'buy' a house.
Remember that nothing remains static and deluding yourself into a comfortable state only to lose it is unhealthy due to the easily avoided stresses it causes.

Join a gang

[tonnot98]

Blame america..
I do
Just realise that your family was living beyond their means, american dream and all.
Have fun being poor. It is the best experience to be poor in a first world country.
Dont make the same mistakes they have.
Never 'buy' a house.
Remember that nothing remains static and deluding yourself into a comfortable state only to lose it is unhealthy due to the easily avoided stresses it causes.

Join a gang

What are your reasons for having these immensely unpopular opinions? Especially the almost unanimously-bad idea of "Joining a gang." I really want to know why/if you seriously think these things. I mean, the only 2 common things people would say would be "Don't make the same mistakes" and "Nothing remains static," otherwise the rest of this just seems like bad advice.

As for the lack of a reply to everyone else, I just couldn't and still can't think of a good way to reply to any of those, but I can just say thanks for the support and suggestions.

[TheBiggerFish]

...
*hugs again, just in case*

It's what we're here for.

[Catmeat]

Cause being in a gang is a easy way to earn tax free money if you are smart enough.
I havnt had to work a tax paying job in a few years.

Im glad you only think it 'seems' like bad advice, unfortunately you have misconceptions of what a gang is and thats cool.
We are a community support system. We look after familys and run a few garages.

Get into exersise if you arnt already.
Ask everyone you talk to for support and a job.
Your enthusiasm will attract what you want.
Deep down inside you know what you have to do, I get it, change is difficult but you may oneday look back on these years and see how great and humbling of an growing experience it is to be poor.
Like We say, nothing is static, so this period will pass. The only thing you can influence is how and what it changes into.

Much love from this bitch

[TheBiggerFish]

Oh you have got to be kidding me.

No, no, no, and flying skeletal carp thrall hordes no.

[tonnot98]

Fortunately or unfortunately, whatever the case may be, my city is pretty devoid of any "gangs." Also, I have been trying to get into exercising, but because of another one of my health problems, Ehler's Danlos Syndome, it is hard to find a good workout that won't break my body. I haven't exactly been able to get a personal trainer to help me with this, either. As an example, I tried doing this one workout called "Around the Worlds" and during a part of it, my right arm keeps slightly coming out of its socket.

Could you possibly elaborate further on what being in a gang is to you? That part is easily the most confusing of your post, since almost everything in american life states that "Gangs are bad, mmkay?"

[x2yzh9]

Well I thought I would offer some input...
In my life I don't have a gang as the vast majority of people would pronounce it. We don't do bad shit,
We just hang out and stick together regardless of events. It's a close group of friends. Maybe gang was or isn't the right word (constructive criticism here) but my philosophy differs in that aspect.