Now, I can't talk from the P.O.V. of someone who's transitioned, as I haven't yet, but as far as I've been learning about the process (starting hormone blockers soon ((only $5 every 10-12 months. Cheap af))), it seems to me like it'd work to counter act the great big problem that is my gender dysphoria. I think that statistic that people pull our when they say "transgender people have the same rate of suicide post-op", is because when a lot of people transition, they're going throu gh other things. Gender dysphoria has been linked to depression, anxiety, etc. And, I think what the transgender community needs to know, is that no, it won't magically make all your problems go away, getting hormone therapy or a sex change. But it can help, with that big problem, so you can work on the other things more often.
I am a bit further into the transition (Male to Female), genderdysphoria is one of the causes for depressions and yes it gets better with hormones. Transdermal patches (similiar to Nicotine-patches) work better then gels and creams in my experience.
The other side is society where you have a few distinct problems. The active bullying - say the BS about toilet usage - sure is one but there are some sometimes very subtle things.
For example "expected behaviour", even if its subconciously expected, can be very big stressor - atleast for me. Having to behave in a certain "manly" or "womanly" way so you get taken seriously is always a fight. Discussing with someone nets different responses whatever i am seen as man or woman. My behaviour, say in dealing with Agencies and Departments, gets interpreted as bitchy and hysteric when i a appear as woman but the very same behavior was fine when i was there as male a few months prior.
Looking at womans clothing at first was very problematic since there is always the chance to be called out on it by someone less supportive ("That perv is looking at panties yuk!") and this can become a fear that persist to later states.
Luckely i didnt had to experience this at all but the the reaction to the coming out can be very harmfull. My family and friends accepted me as i am but i also know cases where families disowned their children up to death-threat and orphanage.
On the other hand you sometimes have far to eager Family/friends that just relabel you, telling you what a "proper" Man/Woman does, intruding your personal space with say making BS name-suggestions (no i dont want the Female version of my firstname because i hate that firstname!) or generally assuming that you dont know the first thing about being your gender (like knowing your sizes for clothing)!.
Similarly the work environment could be very toxic. Starting with school it can be very hard, by outing yourself you offer another oppining for bullies to strike. The outing also squarely places you between the genders (since you are transitioning) so finding friends on either side can become quiet a task.
Later being in a job dominated by one gender or another can lead to problems. You are sometimes seen as intruding into the domain of a gender. Conversely sometimes you are seen as questioning the sexuality of your coworkers by your mere existence as if transsexuality would be contagious.
Phonecalls get annoying for MTF since we cant change our voices that easily leading to being permanently labelled "Sir" or "Mister". Speaking to someone in person will often out you if you couldnt train/operativly change your voice yet. For FTM its a little less of a problem since the testosterone helps with the voice a great deal.
And the most annoying thing for me was the legal aspects of being transgender. Here in Germany i had to PROOF that i feel wrong in my birth-gender for atleast 3 years. Then i had to do atleast 6 moths of Therapist assisted life in my Gender.
Only after that i could apply for a legal change of sex which further requires two reports by 2 separate but specialized Psychiatrists and then a f*ing court-hearing which also can cost up to 5000 Euro.
All in all it can take 6 months to a year and tons of money to get your legal gender and name changed.
Even after that my Health-insurance expected me to jump further hoops to grant me the right to get Hormone-therapy and subsequently a Genderreasignment Operation. The first badge of Meds i had to pay by myself which was around 160 bucks.
Genderdysphoria, depression and anxieties related to it could be easily reduced or treated if society and the Legal apparatus would pull the sticks out of their arses.
Dang. That must be tough.
While my friends, and even most of my teachers have been cool with it (my maths teacher is actually really passionate about helping me, which is neat), my parents... notsomuch.
They are extremely in denial, and while they do want me to be happy (they're letting me do hormone blockers), but they are reluctant to let me start hrt.
I'm probably just gonna do what I normally do, behaviour wise? Because, honestly, I follow no specific gender rules when acting in public :v I'm just a huge nerd. And yeah, for clothes, I have quite a few friends who are willing to let me borrow some of their clothes if I need to, and go out and buy them with me. Heck, I went crossdressing, and nobody said a thing in the girl's bathroom, so I'm obviously somewhat believable
. Albeit, I'm pretty androgynous looking anyway.
I have a gender neutral name, so I'm just using that.
And so far, none of my friends have ever tried to tell me what to do or anything. If anything, I tell myself that I'm 'not being trans right', and they are the ones who tell me it's fine. But my family would probably do that once sex change, I'd imagine.
I have goodo friends anyway, so that's thankfully not a huge problem. But yeah, bullies are gonna bully me anyway? People insult me and stuff already, so it's just giving them another reason.
Considering I'm planning on getting a career in either journalism, photojournalism or ((gonna do this at some point)) independent game design, I'd like to think the gender stigma wouldn't be a huge thing.
I get the voice thing, but apparently I sound feminine enough that I could talk to the bus driver while crossdressing and he didn't really seem confused. Likewise, in a bowling alley, trying to get people out of the way.
And I don't know about New Zealand, but so far there hasn'tbeen any legalities. I have to pay for hrt, but if the therapist deems it extremely harmful to not do it, the therapist can do it without parental consent. There's also the thing that, if hrt develops no breasts at all (which has happened once), you get free breast surgery. Hooray, for semi-decent governmental LGBT youth services