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[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Every so often, there comes up a news story that shows humanity has some strange stuff either caused by it or cause it ourselves.  Sometimes it is hilarious, like someone getting arrested for punching a swan.  Other times, it defies belief, like the guy suing Apple for several billion dollars.  One thing is certain, there will always be more, and this is a thread to discuss it.

One rule I wish to make clear, however.  Despite the current American election likely coming up with some strange stories, I do not want people posting Political news in this thread.  The same thing applies for Religious news.  Both topics carry too much of a chance for derailment into serious discussions, and this thread is meant to be lighthearted.  Kindly take that news to the relevant Political megathread or the Religion thread.

All clear?  Alright then, what weird articles have you seen floating around lately?

[majikero]

So basically Floridaman news thread?

[Criptfeind]

I've heard that the actual reason for this is that police reports and such are more openly available in Florida, so it's easier for the press to actually get a hold of such things. Not totally sure if that's true. But maybe?

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

So basically Floridaman news thread?

Pretty sure every nation has it's Florida.  Heck, pretty sure typing in the name of any area followed by man would bring up at least one wierd thing.  Florida's just the easiest.

Edit: New York man gets 22 years for killing a friend who ate his leftover sandwich.

Edit2: Texas man rides horse into Taco Bell.

[majikero]

Wait, you mean Texas men don't ride horses everywhere?

[mainiac]

So basically Floridaman news thread?

The thread the world wants.  The thread the world needs.

[SirQuiamus]

Isn't this like the WTF thead?

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

Isn't this like the WTF thead?

Maybe, but from my experience, the WTF thread seems to largely be composed of what people have experienced, rather than seeing articles like Tennessee man convicted of possessing more than 6600 perscription pills.

[majikero]

I feel like you're taking great effort for this to not be a Floridaman thread.

[ChairmanPoo]

Did you know that if you listen to CLOUDS.MID backwards, you will go to sleep and have an amazing dream? In it, one by one you meet the Microsoft Windows 10 product team. Finally you get to Bill Gates. You reach out to shake his hand, but instead he puts something in your palm. He smiles, and you wake up...

 In your hand will be a small, white egg.

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

I feel like you're taking great effort for this to not be a Floridaman thread.

It's simple.  I know it will happen eventually, I'm just trying to get some stuff out there so it doesn't immediately fall to Florida Man.  If you want to have it fall, post Florida Man.

[Frumple]

I was going to mention the story of some dude grabbing a flamingo and killing it by throwing it against the ground, but then I realized that that, too, happened in Florida.

Why is all the weird news isolated to Florida?

... haven't you seen me answer this a few times?

In any case, florida's basically the best conditions in the US for bugnuttery. Heat, drugs, heat, poverty, heat, all sorts of governance/infrastructure issues, heat, the list just goes on. Take all the problems other parts of the country has, increase most of its severity, and then drop it in basically the worst physical environment in the nation, add a drop of southern culture, heavy immigration, and old people, then simmer at a low boil (i.e. go outside or have your AC break) until something goes haywire. That's florida and its floridaman.

[Frumple]

Arizona is not a swamp.

[DoctorMcTaalik]

Man with dead weasel-like creature accused of Hoquiam assault

[Frumple]

No, it's a desert.

I'm in Florida right now. The temperature's fine; don't know what everyone bitches about what with the humidity and the heat. Trust me: 120F dry heat is far worse. If you want to feel it, try sticking your head in an oven. Roughly the same experience.

I've been in 120F dry heat. It is a blessing in comparison to 100f in a swamp. Never mind more than that.

... also it's been a pretty mild summer this year, so far, surprisingly so. Don't even think we've had a particularly bad day, yet. If this is your first go at it, you have not seen the worst. Not even the normal, really.