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Author Topic: You're a Wizard!  (Read 5337 times)

Yoink

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #30 on: July 21, 2016, 04:37:06 pm »

Throw my entire stash of weed down, to appease the demons!
Chuck 'em some papers and lighters too, I guess. Turn my stereo back down to non-apocalyptic levels.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

KiwiOui

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #31 on: July 21, 2016, 05:59:15 pm »

With nothing better to do, terrorize some tiny blue people for no reason.
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Kiwis- Odd man out of both the animal and plant kingdoms.
Didn't we get the pilot? Can't we scan his brain?
If we did, +1, but I think they either got scrambled by the tractor beam or got blown out into space.
This is a normal discussion, folks.

WunderKatze

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #32 on: July 21, 2016, 06:34:51 pm »

Turn my stereo back down to non-apocalyptic levels.

Weak.

Challenge Yoink to a battle of metal! Turn up my Grindcore from bone-splinting past hell-stirring to black-abyssal volume levels!
« Last Edit: July 21, 2016, 06:55:43 pm by WunderKatze »
Logged
Sigh, they always said that junk food was bad for you. I guess that leaves us with canabalism.

HEAVY DAMAGE
OPERATION MARKET STORM

Andres

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #33 on: July 21, 2016, 09:37:45 pm »

Give myself high values in STR, DEX, INT, and CON.
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All fanfics are heresy, each and every one, especially the shipping ones. Those are by far the worst.

inaluct

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #34 on: July 21, 2016, 09:47:42 pm »

Accept the fealty of my new subjects and throw a lavish masquerade ball in my lunar castle on The World's Third Tallest Mountain.
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #35 on: July 22, 2016, 07:44:38 am »

Exist.
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

Ardent Debater

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #36 on: July 22, 2016, 10:02:49 am »

Reach the Root in a reference the GM may or may not get

[5] You reach out for the Root, and grasp it firmly. You also feel that entities beyond Your ability to comprehend are vaguely confused and wished they understood something.

Teach them Earth magic, and hollow out an underground chasm to house them all!

[1] You try to teach the Children Earth Magic, and progress goes wonderfully! They attempt to hollow out an underground chasm to house themselves and achieve with few difficulties. A few days later, while You're sitting in Your study, You hear and feel a massive crash beneath Your feet. The chasm collapsed, killing off half of the Children and causing half of the Building to go underground. On the upside, the Orphanage now has an extensive basement!

Modify the train engine with water and fire spells to make it a Steampunk train

[3] You start to tinker with the Train engine using Elemental Spells, and the Train gains the ability to hover a few inches off of the ground for very limited periods of time, it still needs Coal to power itself.

Attempt to summon a manifestation of death to attack dividebyzero.. Oh, and have tea and sausages afterward.

[1] You delve into the Abyss, and summon forth Death itself. It seems that You interrupted it while it was in the shower, and he seems VERY angry with You. [6] VS [6] As he lunges forth with his scythe You summon a nearly indestructible force field to block it! When the scythe hits the shield, there is a massive earthquake and the effect can best be described as ground zero in a nuclear reactor meltdown. Several hundred miles are devoid of all life, and the shield was destroyed by the impact. Fortunately, Your just fine.

((Teleportation, Zoro style.))

Try to teleport to Castle Inaluct. Maybe I'll actually go there... maybe not.

[3] A wandering toothless hermit tells You all about the glories of a Wizard named inaluct's Magical Castle. Intrigued, You decide to go there. With a mental effort, You teleport! And find Yourself standing in a farm field, off in the distance is an enormous Mountain with a Tower on it's top. It looks like You'll be walking.

Attempt to transfer my soul into a Soul Jar, leave behind this feeble ( yet surprisingly fit ) body.

[2] You steal honorably purchase a large, rather sturdy Jar. After a few days of Enchantments, You feel that it's strong enough to contain Your Soul. You leave Your body and enter the Soul Jar... which promptly shatters from the strain of holding such a mighty Wizard's Soul, You don't know if that's a good thing, or a bad thing for Your self esteem. Your Soulless body ran away in fright gibbering like a madman. You are now an incorporeal Soul, and need to find a vessel as soon as possible.

Throw my entire stash of weed down, to appease the demons!
Chuck 'em some papers and lighters too, I guess. Turn my stereo back down to non-apocalyptic levels.


[2] You frantically chuck Your entire stash of Weed down from the Tower to appease the Demons. They spend a few moments sniffing it, and finding it to be low-quality by their standards, are enraged at the perceived insult! They burn the papers and lighters out of spite, and they're beginning to breach Your Tower! You quickly turn Your stereo down to "safe" levels, but this does nothing to dissuade the Demons.

With nothing better to do, terrorize some tiny blue people for no reason.

[3] With nothing better to do, You attempt to terrorize some tiny blue people for no reason. After burning their mushroom village they declare war on You, and You struggle to endure the endless barrage of cheap pranks and lame, tiny, makeshift death-traps. In retaliation for burning their homes, they burned Your log cabin to the ground!

Turn my stereo back down to non-apocalyptic levels.

Weak.

Challenge Yoink to a battle of metal! Turn up my Grindcore from bone-splinting past hell-stirring to black-abyssal volume levels!

[5] Disgusted with Yoink's pitiful music, You challenge him to a battle of Metal! Cranking up Your mystical electric guitar, You unleash an Apocalyptic Ballad of Death Metal! This attracts uncountable hordes of angry peasants! It also opens a crevice leading straight to the Underworld, and equally uncountable hordes of zombies and skeletons crawl out of it! They don't seem to follow orders, but they're distracted with the peasants right now.

Give myself high values in STR, DEX, INT, and CON.

[4] Focusing, You feel Yourself grow slightly stronger, more agile, more intelligent, and more durable! It isn't much of a difference, but it's noticeable.

Accept the fealty of my new subjects and throw a lavish masquerade ball in my lunar castle on The World's Third Tallest Mountain.

[4] Accepting the fealty of Your new subjects, You decide to throw a lavish masquerade ball in Your lunar castle to celebrate. Most of Your subjects attend, and everyone has a fairly good time.

Exist.

[3] You attempt to exist. You can't tell if it's working or not...

Logged

Marp2048

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #37 on: July 22, 2016, 10:21:40 am »

Attempt to transform into the Cloverfield Monster in the fanciest way possible.
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ziizo

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #38 on: July 22, 2016, 11:44:32 am »

Find a coal mine
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GG, Ziizo. May my spirit live on in your boobs.

KiwiOui

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #39 on: July 22, 2016, 11:50:51 am »

Build some tiny battle golems. Non-Lethal, of course. Dead people are only useful for necromancers.
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Kiwis- Odd man out of both the animal and plant kingdoms.
Didn't we get the pilot? Can't we scan his brain?
If we did, +1, but I think they either got scrambled by the tractor beam or got blown out into space.
This is a normal discussion, folks.

TheBiggerFish

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #40 on: July 22, 2016, 01:42:15 pm »

Keep existing!!!
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

_DivideByZero_

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #41 on: July 22, 2016, 01:50:34 pm »

Collect the souls of the dead into one amalgamated entity, then teach that entity how to Love. (And how to speak The Language of course)
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Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth? (Gal 4:16)

Dustan Hache

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #42 on: July 22, 2016, 03:31:29 pm »

Attempt to summon death again, apologize for pulling him out of the shower, then tell him about the necromancer Dividebyzero and how he should be destroyed.
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I figure at some point, you're just gonna run outta fucks to give and just off yourself whenever you get hurt at all. It's not like there's any downsides to it. Hangover? Suicide will fix that. Stubbed your toe? Suicide. Headache? Suicide. Papercut? Suicide.

WunderKatze

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #43 on: July 22, 2016, 04:00:03 pm »

Skeletons and zombies? Damn it. I must do better. INTENSIFY METAL.
Logged
Sigh, they always said that junk food was bad for you. I guess that leaves us with canabalism.

HEAVY DAMAGE
OPERATION MARKET STORM

NRDL

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Re: You're a Wizard!
« Reply #44 on: July 22, 2016, 06:04:26 pm »

Possess the nearest living creature.  This should end well.
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GOD DAMN IT NRDL.
NRDL will roll a die and decide how sadistic and insane he's feeling well you do.
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