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Author Topic: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: T+0  (Read 1419495 times)

wierd

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14430 on: November 30, 2016, 07:00:15 pm »

This has "the onion" written all over it.

Seriously, what product better describes the kind of people who get "news" from breitbart, other than "fruitloops"?  Maybe cocoapuffs? Is that GM or kellogs?

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Reelya

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14431 on: November 30, 2016, 07:01:12 pm »

Sadly, it's true. I embellished the specific thing about Froot Loops however. Basically, a whole bunch of companies noticed that ad aggregators were putting their ads on breitbart.com, since breitbart came to more public awareness, and have blocked it. Kellogs is the biggest one and made a public statement distancing them from breitbart, which is why they're in the firing line from breitbart.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2016, 07:03:14 pm by Reelya »
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TheBiggerFish

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14432 on: November 30, 2016, 07:02:47 pm »

I... I don't... I don't even...

How is the Onion going to stay in business?!
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Sigtext

It has been determined that Trump is an average unladen swallow travelling northbound at his maximum sustainable speed of -3 Obama-cubits per second in the middle of a class 3 hurricane.

wierd

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14433 on: November 30, 2016, 07:04:38 pm »

the best comedy is true to life. its why george carlin was a riot.

still, this is fuel for an onion article.

brietbart readers furious over kellogs insistence that "fruitloops" not be associated them, assert long tradition of being fruitloops, and demand continued association through advertsing.
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smjjames

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14434 on: November 30, 2016, 07:05:56 pm »

This has "the onion" written all over it.

Seriously, what product better describes the kind of people who get "news" from breitbart, other than "fruitloops"?  Maybe cocoapuffs? Is that GM or kellogs?

Checked wiki and cocoapuffs is GM.

It's just people having a fit over their favorite brand disowning them.
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Reelya

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14435 on: November 30, 2016, 07:08:05 pm »

It's just people having a fit over their favorite brand disowning them.

What was "onion" about it was the idea of "leftist companies" war on "conservative customers", and the whole idea of the right wing being at war with breakfast cereal for not being fascist enough.

However, it's clear that corn flakes are communistic when you think about it.
« Last Edit: November 30, 2016, 07:12:16 pm by Reelya »
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smjjames

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14436 on: November 30, 2016, 07:11:49 pm »

It's clear that corn flakes are communistic when you think about it.

Eh? There's no evidence that I can see that their founder had a communist bent.

It seems more of a tantrum over the fact that an American company is disowning the site and removing their ads than anything liberal related.
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wierd

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14437 on: November 30, 2016, 07:12:24 pm »

see, while cocopuffs are coocoo, like the readers of breitbart, they are also brown, and said readers dont like that association.

fruitloops, however, come in all colors, (just like white light is all colors), and dont have such baggage. the slur against homosexuals (fruity, fruits) is actually a sly mnemonic device that winks at, while refuting, the association of rabid homophobia with closet homosexuality.

the readers of breitbart are fruitloopsn and demand recognition!


(lol!!)
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Reelya

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14438 on: November 30, 2016, 07:14:04 pm »

It's clear that corn flakes are communistic when you think about it.

Eh? There's no evidence that I can see that their founder had a communist bent.

I didn't say the founder. I said the cornflakes themselves are insidious communists in every bowl.

wierd

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14439 on: November 30, 2016, 07:15:34 pm »

no, thats rice crispies.  snap, crackle, and pop are communist propoganda to make americans acclimated to rice instead of corn or wheat.
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Dorsidwarf

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14440 on: November 30, 2016, 07:16:26 pm »

It's clear that corn flakes are communistic when you think about it.

Eh? There's no evidence that I can see that their founder had a communist bent.

It seems more of a tantrum over the fact that an American company is disowning the site and removing their ads than anything liberal related.

Kelloggs.
There are 2 'l's and two 'g's.
Take them out, this leaves "Keos" Chaos. They want to sow discord.
Keos.
There is an even split here between vowels and consonants.
even. Two is even.
But wait
Quote
There are 2 'l's and two 'g's.
we already have 2 2s? whats weird about this??
this means we have three.
Three.
Triangle
Eye. 2s are curved and an eye is made of curves
Eye + triangle??
Illuminati

it all makes sense now.

illuminati = Elites controlling subdued masses
soviet russia = Elites controlling subdued masses
soviet russia = communism...

therefore kelloggs is communism confirmed.


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Rockphed

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14441 on: November 30, 2016, 07:17:25 pm »

You have this option available right now. "Battlefield Effects Technician". I was a civilian contractor in ... you know I'm admitting a handful of safety violations, so lets just say "an Army base" where "an exercise" occured. Its like being a lifeguard for bombs. Super fun, and any red-blooded American can do it. They get vets, rednecks, college girls reading Terry Pratchett novels... you can do this short of life-threatening allergies to the sun.

Also, back on Trump. 24/7 cable news is now the Muppet Show of puppets jumping whenever Trump tweets or one of his mouthpieces says something "rogue" entirely to script. The man learned media manipulation running a reality TV show, where it looks real but the events are scripted. Obama had fawning adultation to push his message. Trump has 4 dimensional chess trolling them along by the nose over the issues he wants to talk about.

Maybe I should rephrase: I wish I had known about that as a teenager.  Nowadays I have other priorities and have more valuable things to spend my time on than having fun with explosives.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

wierd

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14442 on: November 30, 2016, 07:22:41 pm »

You have this option available right now. "Battlefield Effects Technician". I was a civilian contractor in ... you know I'm admitting a handful of safety violations, so lets just say "an Army base" where "an exercise" occured. Its like being a lifeguard for bombs. Super fun, and any red-blooded American can do it. They get vets, rednecks, college girls reading Terry Pratchett novels... you can do this short of life-threatening allergies to the sun.

Also, back on Trump. 24/7 cable news is now the Muppet Show of puppets jumping whenever Trump tweets or one of his mouthpieces says something "rogue" entirely to script. The man learned media manipulation running a reality TV show, where it looks real but the events are scripted. Obama had fawning adultation to push his message. Trump has 4 dimensional chess trolling them along by the nose over the issues he wants to talk about.

Maybe I should rephrase: I wish I had known about that as a teenager.  Nowadays I have other priorities and have more valuable things to spend my time on than having fun with explosives.

kids these days. my dad spent copious time teaching me the finer arts of ied creation. granted, he is a 'nam vet, and felt the commies would take over (and he still does), buy seriously, bomb handling and manufacture was a nice and unique feature of my childhood. hell, i could probably run a freaking training camp.

seriously, my dad really did strongly pressure the reading and memorization of army field manuals on all kinds of nightmare fuel. including ieds and proper bomb placement to deny enemy advance. fun stuff.

and i stll have all my extremities, so i must be good! lol

(and no, jst because i know how, does not mean i actively am or intend to make or place such items. it just makes me giggle when i see really poorly made ones in the news.)
« Last Edit: November 30, 2016, 07:24:55 pm by wierd »
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Rockphed

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14443 on: November 30, 2016, 07:31:20 pm »

My father-in-law is a licensed pyrotechnician.  He used to wire up and set off a show every 4th of July with my wife's help.  I don't think he has ever had an injury on his shoots despite being a complete maniac about it who runs around amid the explosives mid-show to hand-light errant devices.
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Only vaguely. Made of the same substance and put to the same use, but a bit like comparing a castle and a doublewide trailer.

wierd

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Re: Doc Helgoland's Asylum for the Politically American: Post-Apocalypse
« Reply #14444 on: November 30, 2016, 07:38:58 pm »

and they let him keep his license?
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